It’s no shock that the portrayal of women in magazines makes women feel like dirt. But did you know images of hot chicks make men feel worse, too? Everyone knows that the way women are portrayed in our culture – sexy, skinny, tall – makes the average woman feel a bit like the gum I had to peel off my shoe this morning. When we look at magazine ads or watch TV shows, we women feel inadequate – and it’s no wonder, when the average woman model weighs up to 25% less than the typical woman and maintains a weight at about 15 to 20% below what is considered healthy for her age and height. But the 40,000 or so ads the average American is exposed to a year aren’t just affecting the girls. A new study coming out of the University of Missouri found that men react negatively to unrealistic ads, too. What’s interesting is it wasn’t images of hot men that got the guys feeling self conscious – it was images of hot women.
The research began by trying to see if men were as negatively affected by men’s magazines as women are by Cosmo and the like. Men that were given men’s magazines like Maxim had lower self image, which got the researchers to question exactly what about the magazines cause the drop in self esteem. So they showed men just the pictures of objectified women, men, and the articles and again checked their esteem levels. They found that, surprisingly, it wasn’t the images of idealized men that made the guys feel inadequate – it was the women. Even more surprising was that the male fashion group reported the least amount of body self-consciousness among the three groups – the guys couldn’t care less what the other men looked like.
If you’ve ever been in high school, it’s obvious why seeing a hot woman would make a less than ideal looking guy feel bad. I mean, what guy hasn’t choked when trying to talk to the head cheerleader? Attractive women are intimidating, and the mere sight of one is enough to cause any average joe to give themselves a quick once-over.
The theory is that a beautiful women makes a man self conscious because the he’s reminded that he’s not in her league – that is, they take one look at a hot girl and quickly realize there’s no way they’re good-looking enough to bang her. Since women have the larger investment in offspring, they tend to be considered the ‘picky’ ones, evolutionarily speaking. The men and their billions of sperm have to compete with other guys to convince a girl that they’ve got the genes to be worth it.
To test this theory, the researchers performed one more experiment. They broke the men into two groups – one received magazine layouts of sexually idealized females and the other received the same layouts with average-looking ‘boyfriends’ added to the photos, with captions about how the female models are attracted to the average-looking men. The men who looked at just the model were more self-conscious, presumably because when the other men saw the bombshells liked ‘normal guys,’ they no longer felt she was out of reach.
Personally, I’d like to see if images of hot men have the same effect on women. Despite the evolutionary argument, I think that women would have the same reaction to male models as men do to female ones. After all, you don’t hear a girl say “oh crap! I gotta go fix my hair!” when this guy walks in the room:
I want you. I need you. Oh baby – oh baby. Read more of my stuff over at Observations of a Nerd
“Plus, we know the only reason you act so nice is because you know you have no other way of making us interested in you. And the reason you act so mean is because you’re trying to hide that you want us and/or you think you can make us underestimate our own worth.”
Omg so true! And the saddest thing is they think they are somewhat sutble when they’re pulling the “he’s not interested because he’s unattractive” charcade.Lol I always laugh when I see it. Don’t ever let such sad excuses of people try to get you down girl. WE choose who we want.
“GET realistic. Assess yourself realistically. Look for someone in your league, or go home. Some of us hot girls would like to enjoy our lives with you average boys and your pathetic attempts to force yourself on people that aren’t interested. We are not pieces of meat for you to bang. We are people with brains and hearts and our OWN CHOICES.”
+1 and qft x10 well said and 100% true
Helene
Yes, girls do get to choose whom they want. She will drop hints, smile, etc and if the good-looking guy is too dumb to realise what he is being offered, she will move on thinking he is a dufus, anyway and she’ll lose interest. Sometimes though, she will be so attracted to a guy that she will throw herself at him and he will never respond positively as he will enjoy the attention she showers him with, enjoy her stroking his ego and eventually, he will never want the relationship to progress any further.
The guy will want a girl but he will be so afraid of rejection that he won’t tell her how he feels and life will pass him by. Sometimes, he feels confident in his own skin and throws himself at a girl. She will like him but will mistrust him and think that he flirts this way with everyone and the relationship will never progress as she will never take him serious.
A guy has just got to learn to read the subtle signals and he will get his girl.
Really a guy just does not want a girl to throw herself at him; likewise with a girl’s choice.
I could go on talking about different scenarios but hey, what do I know, anyway?
“Why *shouldn’t* the beautiful women deserve something like herself?”
Also keep in mind that beautiful women don’t want to be on some pedestral, like the average or less desirable guy is likely to put her on it since he wouldn’t believe his luck (not saying average guys are with beautiful women, just in hypothetic scenario) whereas the handsome good looking guy is more likely to just see her as a person and not some imaginary godess. Good looking people are used to beauty and being attractive so they are less intimidated by it and can develop healthier relationships with other desirable people like themselves. Part of a healthy relationship is equality.
Helene
“At least I’m not – or I wouldn’t date a teacher”
Would you date a sales clerk or unemployed man with no prospects of moving up because he is viewed as a dirty ignorant minority? Doubt it…
I am a woman and I think you have a very weird view of us! From what you say it sounds like every woman you have been with acts as though she’s doing you a favour. Well realise this: she’s not. You sound like a nice decent guy and it sounds as though you try very hard to make your woman happy. So why do you go for ones that don’t appreciate you? Women want and need men as much as men want and need women. If the sort of women you’ve been with would dump you in a second for a better offer they must be judging people on the wrong things. Where does love come into this? Find a woman that appreciates you like you appreciate her and I hope you will be very happy
Magazines are in business to SELL COPIES; and as neanderthal as it is, SEX SELLS! Unfortunately, years of visual programming (by reading these pubs) set up unrealistic expectations and the unenlightened (and clueless!) go through life thinking this extreme exterior perfection is the gauge to their own happiness.
So the premise of the article: Does seeing a hot woman hit a man’s insecurity button? Well . . . I think THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT IN THE MATING GAME! There’s a fine line between feeling insecure – and feeling challenged! MEN ARE HUNTERS and a smart woman knows this! Your smile and F-factor (fuckability – the overall physical package) will draw him in. Your warmth, confidence, smarts and happiness about life in general will keep him there. Alot of women are focused more on the physical aspect and less on being the interesting, sensual, engaging person that real men are looking for! Previous posts indicate, ‘looks are skin deep,’ and to that I say, AGREED! Smart men know this and once attracted, they get by the looks pretty quickly – and want to know more. Smart women know this too — they know their looks ARE their calling card – JUST this. Women come in all shapes and sizes, thank God, because so do men! ‘Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’ . . . and there’s lots of folks, both men and women, doing the beholding! So, be comfortable with who you are and let your confidence show.
The call to WOMEN: Get into your best dating condition, both mentally and physically. If you want the best, you’ve gotta be your best. Get in touch with your softer side, your inner diva; do what makes you happy; take care of yourself – eat well and get in some physical activity everyday; read voraciously and follow your passions so that you’ll be an interesting person. Stop trying so hard to find a man! It makes you look desperate! Remember that what you choose to wear when you go out is advertising. You may be attracting what you don’t want! Be classy-sexy and you’ll attract classy-sexy! Think about what you value in a partner and make that your criteria for evaluating ALL the men who will approach you. If they don’t fit the bill, give them a gentle send-off ’cause you don’t want to waste HIS time – nor YOURS. You create your own happiness – men don’t want to feel this weight anyway. LISTEN to everything a man says upon first meeting – a man will tell you everything you need to know about his intentions if you’d only listen objectively! Be a class act and be kind to other women. Build a positive vibe – you may find a new friend – AND she may introduce you to Mr. Right!
The call to MEN: Ditto on getting into YOUR best dating condition. It’s imperative that you put your best foot forward as there is only one chance for a first impression. Go after women who are your equals mentally. This levels the playing field – you’ll be more comfortable and better equipped to impress her. Approach the woman who smiles back. If your looking to get laid for the night, be prepared for the brush-off. Women can feel a fraud a mile away – and remember, women talk and reputations precede so think about the dynamic you’re setting up for your future. If you’re looking for “quality,” be “quality.” Character, manners, intelligence, integrity and respect go a long way in making a good impression – and in keeping her interested. If you’re NOT looking for quality, you’ll find plenty of interested parties out there too; and that’s ok as long as she’s aware and accepts the agenda – so you both can act responsibly. My gyne, who’s a guy, says “assume that everyone’s infected with some sort of STD today.” He says he sees alot going through his office. BUT, that’s a whole different topic!
I’m sure I have alot more to say, but I’ve already said enough! Happy dating!!!
Barbara
5’5″, 130, entrepreneur, blonde, blue-eyed, fit . . . and beautiful!
And in the next couple of decades gravity will take its effect on you, he’ll realize he has spent enough money and effort on someone he is no longer attracted to and you will spend every single waking moment trying to keep yourself outwardly beautiful for a guy who only wanted your body. Meanwhile the average guy will be debt free, happily married to the RIGHT woman for him, and retired comfortably without the hassles of providing botox and xanex for his cougar wife.
I think you are right, your outside mirrors your inside, therefore, if you pretend to be a bitch on the outside, you are actually kinda and friendly on the inside.
-Jin
I’m a very ordinary-looking guy who has been with ordinary-looking women and with very beautiful women. I have never found that a woman’s beauty makes any kind of difference to my chances with her. She either likes you or she doesn’t; and you’ll never understand why, no matter how hard you try. Another point is that even ordinary-looking women expect perfection in their men. No matter who you are, guys, the woman you’re with is settling for you. If she can find someone better, you’re toast unless you can and are inclined to vastly raise your bid. Deal with it. Flatter her, make her feel like a goddess, like she’s the only woman in the world, and even then you have a fifty-fifty shot at best. Have the best time you can within those constraints, and good luck.