A couple’s sexual orientation determines whether or not they prefer to adopt a boy or a girl. Gay men are more likely to have a gender preference for their adopted child whereas heterosexual men are the least likely. What’s more, couples in heterosexual relationships are more likely to prefer girls than people in same-gender relationships, according to Dr. Abbie Goldberg from Clark University in the US. These couples also have very different reasons for their preferences, depending on their sexuality. These findings (1), from the first study to compare the child gender preferences of prospective adoptive parents according to their sexuality, are published online in Springer’s journal Sex Roles.
Unlike biological parents, adoptive parents can choose the gender of their child. Heterosexual, lesbian and gay male couples approach adoption with very different experiences and expectations as those of expectant biological parents. Dr. Goldberg looked at whether the unique contexts of adoption and sexual orientation have distinct implications for men’s and women’s child gender preferences.
She explored adoptive parents’ child gender preferences in a geographically diverse American sample of 93 heterosexual, 61 lesbian and 48 gay male couples waiting to adopt their first child. The participants were recruited through adoption agencies in the US as well as national gay and lesbian organizations. They were interviewed between 2005 and 2008.
Dr. Goldberg found that many couples, irrespective of sexuality, had no preference for the gender of their adopted child. They were simply grateful to finally have a child and gender was insignificant in the context of their larger goal of becoming parents.
Among those who expressed a preference, gay men were the most likely to have a preference and heterosexual men were the least likely. Couples in heterosexual relationships were less likely to prefer boys than couples in same-gender relationships.
The study participants provided a range of reasons for their preferences for girls. The most common reason among heterosexual women was their inexplicable desire for a daughter, whereas heterosexual men most frequently listed a combination of their inexplicable desire to have a girl, their ideas about father-daughter relationships and their perceived characteristics of girls. Men felt girls would be easier to bring up, and more interesting and complex than boys, and less physically challenging than boys. Lesbians tended to focus on their perceived inability to socialize a child of the opposite gender, and gay men most frequently cited concerns about boys being more likely to encounter harassment than girls.
The most common reason for preferring boys among heterosexual women was an inexplicable desire for a son, whereas heterosexual men’s preference for a son reflected patriarchal norms, including keeping the family name going and gender identity considerations i.e. their own masculine interests. When explaining their preference for a boy, lesbians most frequently mentioned their own atypical gender identities, including the fact that their own interests tended to be more masculine and tomboyish, whereas gay men most often highlighted that they felt more confident about their ability to raise and socialize boys.
Dr Goldberg concludes: “This study represents the first investigation known to date that explores the child gender preferences of both heterosexual and sexual minority preadoptive parents. The data suggest that both the adoption context and the sexual orientation context may have implications for how men and women think about the gender of their future children.”
Was this sample comprised of adoptive couples only? And of children who were previously unrelated to the adoptors?
That is, in each instance was a child adopted by two adults together — two adults who adopted as a couple, sharing the decision to adopt that child?
Or did the sample include the child adopted by an individual adult who later became part of a coupled household? Did the second adult adopt?
For instance did the sample include step-parent adoptions? And “second-parent” adoptions?
Also, did the sample include adoptors who already had a child? Was the sample comprised only of first-time adoptors who were previously childless?
Many childless adoptors have experienced miscarriages (repeated miscarriages are categorized as indicators of subfertility) — did the sample exclude such adoptive adults whose preference may have reflected the sex of the lost unborn child?
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Quantification of the differences in gender preference described in the study:
1. homosexual men were the most likely to have a preference?
2. heterosexual men were the least likely to have a preference?
3. homosexual women …. ?
4. heterosexual women … ?
5. all-male couples … ?
6. all-female couples … ?
7. both-sexed couples … ?
A. married?
B. unmarried?
8 – 10, repeat 5 to 7 but for adoptive individuals rather than adoptive couples … ?
11. how many adoptors from each subsample had no preference?
12. How did the study account for differences in preferences?
A. Where the man had a different preference from the woman, how often did the woman’s preference prevail? (The report above hinted that men were less likely to have a preference so did that mean the women in the adoptive both-sexed relationships were more likely to prevail? And, were the preference was for a girl, whose preference prevailed? Was the difference in gender preference a stronger predictor than a difference in the sex of the adult in that relationship?) And were both-sexed couples more or less likely to be indifferent to the sex of the adoptive child?
B. Where the couple was all-female, what was the frequency of a difference in preference expressed by partners? Did the preference for girls prevail more often, where there was a difference between the partners? Or when one partner was indifferent?
C. Where the couple was all-male what was the frequency of a difference in preference expressed by partners? Did the preference for boys prevail more often, where there was a difference between the partners? Or when one partner was indifferent?
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Also, was this sample comprised of adoptors who were surveyed PRIOR to finding a particular child to adopt — are after the fact of adopting a particular child?