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im freakin out....

June 20, 2009 by Anonymous, 22 weeks 4 days ago
Comment: 37438

i never used to hear voices (or maybe i just didnt acknowledge them) but when i reach heightened states of consciousness (through marijuana and lexapro) i hear ghastly futuristic music accented by a booming voice and it feels like it is running through me like a river... i even noticed paranoid delusions creeping into the back of my mind, and when i embraced them it took me on quite a journey... pretty much, i thought i was just pretending to be crazy to see what it would be like, but now im pretty sure i am either a psychopath or a schizo (drug-induced or otherwise)... but i dont think it is a completely bad thing... i have a clearer understanding of the world and it's interconnectedness... numbers and letters and colors and the Earth and LIFE are all connected in the most complicated yet obviously simplistic ways.... it's like I have woken up and cant go back to sleep... like i took the red pill and should have taken the blue one...

the "man" put me on scripts that MADE me crazy... i used to be a productive member of society once upon a time... now im 22 years old, dropped out of college, in debt up to my eyeballs and have a pregnant fiance.....YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i liked my reality better... i'm going back to sleep...

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