I never expected to be in love with a man 19 years older than I am, in fact I usually dated men who were my age, or about 2 years younger/older. I am 33 dating a 52-year old man.He does not look wrinkly and bore me with stories about the past, but is rather physically fit (much more so than me) and well-versed for engaging conversations. We have been seeing each other for 2 wonderful years. The love and respect we have for each other is unparalleled with any other person I have dated, and I am so grateful.

At first I remember thinking I should not be falling in love with someone older because it does not fit the traditional model of a romantic couple. I ruminated over this issue for a long time when our relationship became romantic, and I spoke about it with close friends. I came to the conclusion that LOVE GOES BEYOND RACE, ETHNICITY, AGE, FAITH, or EVEN SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Love has no boundaries, there is no algorithm for love, it happens organically, and when it happens you should cherish it. Forget what "the masses" think, the love you share is between you and your significant other,and this is all that matters.

My parents are 17 years apart, and yes, this is their only marriage. My mom is not a trophy wife, in fact she is average-looking, cheerful and spiritual. My parents are best friends. Even though my father is retired, my mother still works. My mother certainly did not marry my father for reasons pertaining to power, status or wealth; they marriage is one built on sincere love and respect for each other.

As the child of an older father-younger mother, I did sometimes feel self-conscious about the fact my dad was older than most of my classmates' fathers but this basically occurred in late middle school and high school when most of us are prone to think about what our peers think of us.

In the last 10 years I feel like my father has aged much faster than my mom; having seen this development, as well as having predicted this would happen, I always told myself I would rather be with someone with whom I can grow old, instead of worrying about potentially outliving my significant other for many years. For this reason I deliberately dated men my age. I am sure there are men my age who are mature, but in general, over the years, the men I dated were not as mature with respect to relationships and were driven by testosterone. I think they were more interested in talking about themselves, trying to impress me and trying to hook up (note the word trying) rather than getting to know someone deeply in every sense of the word. Of course, the above does not apply to every man my age, but there seems to be a disproportionate number of younger men who fit this build. In general, I think older men appreciate women more than younger men, perhaps it stems from wisdom accumulated over many years. By the way, when I refer to older men, I am referring to men who are 10 years older than women.

I know it would be more ideal to be in love with a man closer to me in age, I know this, trust me, but love is precious and when it happens you should let it flow and appreciate what you have. People who believe women date/marry older men for financial reasons, clearly have very limited views about love, and are looking to scapegoat older men for the fact that they (the younger men who have these stereotypical thoughts) maybe having difficulty attracting women they desire. These younger men are perhaps the type who think in general that women will only date them if they wine and dine them. Well, believe it or not, it's not about the amount of money you spend on a woman, but rather based on the amount of respect you show this person. Some women will be impressed with superficial elements, but if you are attracted to this type of person what does it say about you? You might be superficial and therefore assume everyone else thinks like you too.

All in all, please do not make sweeping generalizations about younger women with older men, or vice-versa. I can assure you that most younger women with older men appreciate being in a mature relationship with someone who values and respects them as women, rather than view them as sexual objects. Just remember, love is a gift, and should be cherished regardless of one's age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or faith. Love DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE. Hopefully, everyone reading this lengthy note has or will experience deep love, and recognize it for what it is. Wishing you only the best with peace, love and health.