OK, I’m going to rant about transport in the UK. To make things clear, I drive 15 miles to work everyday, not a huge amount. I do not use motorways or even A-roads as my work is in the countryside. I travel from the outskirts of a city directly into country roads. There is no public transport to the village where I work. None. Nada. Zilch. I have to drive.
OK, here’s the b*tch – those 15 miles can take up to an hour to travel. Read again. Up to an hour. One hour. Not on a gridlocked motorway or an over-used A-road. Not through a city centre. On country roads. Want to know why it takes that long? MOTHERS. Seriously. My route takes me past a school. In the school holidays, I whiz through in about 15 minutes. The rest of the time it is gridlock, and it can only be because of stupid, lazy, good for nothing fat mothers and their lazy, good for nothing kids. I used to get the bus when I was younger – how about you?
To make my rant even worse, I recently found an alternative, that adds a couple of miles but shaves off many of those minutes. No more sitting in traffic while kids get dropped off, woohoo! But now that’s been discovered by too many other people, and that’s gridlocked too! Jesus H Christ, this route doesn’t even go anywhere near a school and still the school run blocks it up. Taking that route this morning, I had been sat in traffic and when I got to a junction, I took a risk and shot out when I shouldn’t; I received an angry beep in return…
…. the guy had no idea how close he was to a painful, miserable death. I wanted to ram that horn so far down his throat that everytime I punched his teeth in his ass would give out a feeble parp….
So not only do we have the most expensive petrol, roads and public transport, we also have the worst traffic. Even country roads are clogged, by fat, lazy, turkey-twizzler eating mothers. I hope they have to eat their kids when apocolypse comes due to global warming….