Quantcast

Discovery of gigantic, prehistoric platypus – ohannonornithorhynchus gianatinus

Long missing from the fossil records, and now newly discovered in the fossil beds of an ancient sea that once covered New Hampshire, the world was stunned today to learn of the discovery of a unknown species of tremendous size – a GIANT SEA GOING PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS.

Speaking on conditions of strict anonymity, the discovery of this amazingly great wonderful, surprising, and all important creature said “The discovery of GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS, a creature that ruled the seas from the Permian right up until the Iron Age, is of huge scientific importance, and will cause us to have to re-evaluate all we thought we knew about life on this planet.”

Speaking from inside a scale model of the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS, our anonymous source continued “This scale model is only 1/58 natural size, meaning that the real GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS would have been over 9 miles in length! And since the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS was omnivorous, all the theories related to the extinction of dinosaurs and other species will have to be put aside as it is perfectly obvious that the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS ate them all, in addition to sea dragons and mermaids!”

Leaving the model by the back door, the discoverer directed reporters to a huge pile of rocks that resembled platypus bills. “Now some will tell you that these are rocks that resemble platypus bills” he said, “but our test have proven beyond doubt that they are platypus bills that, due to fossilization, resemble rocks!”

Pointing to a nearby case he continued “Some say that this is only the skull of fairly large platypus of today. Now watch what happens when you view it from behind this two story magnifying glass. It becomes what is is, the skull of a GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS! ”

How the discovery of GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS will affect life science biological and change our understanding with regards to the origins and evolution of life on earth is anyone’s guess. Will we unlock some of the very keys to life itself though the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS discovery? The key to the scientific understanding of the GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS is to concentrate all scientific resources on the excavation and reconstruction of a GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS skull matrix. The construction of a GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS with a full and complete bill will make the existence of GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS pretty hard to deny.

At this time with less than one GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS examples remaining it is absolutely imperative that a GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS bill matrix be completely excavated and reconstructed. This GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS bill matrix excavation and reconstruction should be of the highest national scientific priority, second only to the possible capture of a living species of GIANTANTIC, SEA GOING PREHISTORIC PLATYPUS – OHANNONORNITHORHYNCHUS GIANATINUS, survivors of which are rumored to live somewhere in the New Jersey swamp, and also in Cloud Creek, Arkansas.


Found under a football stadium, which collapsed when it was removeD, this skull is two mile long, and one mile high!


Total lenght is six miles, making this a juvenile specimen. (Note that a six foot tall man would not even be visible in this photo!)


Rock in background is three time the size of the Rock of Gilbraltor!



The material in this press release comes from the originating research organization. Content may be edited for style and length. Want more? Sign up for our daily email.

10 thoughts on “Discovery of gigantic, prehistoric platypus – ohannonornithorhynchus gianatinus”

  1. Why is the comment above allowed? Anyone who types “WTF” in response to a fantastic scientific discover should have steroid-infused lobsters stuffed down his trouser every day until he comes to his senses!

  2. WTF!! Why is this blog even here?! Totally fiction and useless.

    And I don’t see a Humor tab or section….

    • You, whoever you are, should be ashamed! This is one of the greatest discoveries ever and you, with your tiny mind that a shrew who had just undergone repeated lobotomies would be ashamed of, should be spanked with a electric eel for daring to type “WFT” in your reply. Now go, and never darken my towels again!

Comments are closed.