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In sickness and in health: How illness affects the risk of divorce

In the classic marriage vow, couples promise to stay together in sickness and in health. But a new study finds that the risk of divorce among older married couples rises when the wife—but not the husband—becomes seriously ill.

“Married women diagnosed with a serious health condition may find themselves struggling with the impact of their disease while also experiencing the stress of divorce,” said Amelia Karraker, a researcher at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, who presents her findings May 1 at the annual meeting of the Population Association of America.

Karraker and co-author Kenzie Latham of Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis analyzed 20 years of data on 2,717 marriages from the Health and Retirement Study, conducted by the Institute for Social Research since 1992. At the time of the first interview, at least one of the partners was over the age of 50.

The researchers examined how the onset of four serious physical illnesses—cancer, heart problems, lung disease and stroke—affected marriages.

They found that, overall, 31 percent of marriages ended in divorce over the period studied. The incidence of new chronic illness onset increased over time as well, with more husbands than wives developing serious health problems.

“We found that women are doubly vulnerable to marital dissolution in the face of illness,” Karraker said. “They are more likely to be widowed, and if they are the ones who become ill, they are more likely to get divorced.”

While the study did not assess why divorce is more likely when wives but not husbands become seriously ill, Karraker offers a few possible reasons.

“Gender norms and social expectations about caregiving may make it more difficult for men to provide care to ill spouses,” Karraker said. “And because of the imbalance in marriage markets, especially in older ages, divorced men have more choices among prospective partners than divorced women.

“We did not have information on who initiated divorce in this study. But it’s important to keep in mind that in most cases, it’s women who do so. So it could be that when women become ill and their husbands are not doing a very good job caring for them, they would rather that he just go and they rely on friends and family who will take care of them.”

Given the increasing concern about health care costs for the aging population, Karraker believes policymakers should be aware of the relationship between disease and risk of divorce.

“Offering support services to spousal caregivers may reduce marital strain and prevent divorce at older ages,” she said. “But it’s also important to recognize that the impetus for divorce may be health-related and that sick ex-wives may need additional care and services to prevent worsening health and increased health expenditures.”

Karraker is a National Institute on Aging Postdoctoral Fellow at the ISR Population Studies Center.




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80 thoughts on “In sickness and in health: How illness affects the risk of divorce”

  1. Looking at the blog, i for one would agree that illness affect the risk of divorce. it happens more when women are the ones sick, because men do not have the character of care in them. what concerns me is that men seem to not know and understand the meaning of marriage as that is a bond to make two people become one; as a result, they make decisions from what they feel and not what will benefit both the wife and the husbands. in my opinion men have a lot of options as to hire a nurse to take care of the wife while they offer love because them leaving is what will at the end kill their wifes.

  2. ”in sickness and in health” this is a sign of commitment between two people.I understand that women are more nurture than men but marriage is about two people not only that women should always be the ones caring.Men should also play their role when women are unable to do so that is what marriage is about helping each other in terms of weakness not running away.

  3. It is true that illness cause divorce in most cases, especially when the woman is the one suffering from a certain disease. It is believed that women have to take care of their families and when they can no longer do it as a result of being weak from the disease, they are seen to be useless. Most men do not keep in mind that marriage is about helping each other, for better, for worse. It is a very difficult situation to experience, when one suffers from one of the serious physical illness, i mean it will be very difficult to look at your partner suffering from stroke but it is one’s responsibility to take care of his or her partner, for a woman to initiate divorce, she is driven by her husband not showing care and love recently. It has happened in my family twice.

  4. I personally agree with the article as it has sufficient information and evidence. It is true that women would rather rely on their friends or family if their husbands are not giving the care and support they need.

  5. yes i agree that women are the one who suffers more since they are emotional weak but its not right when man take advantage of their women

  6. I agree that couples are divorcing when the wife gets ill because they are considered of no use to the husband anymore. However I disagree that couples should divorce their wife because of an illness. When someone is ill or goes through a hurdle in their life, they should have their loved ones there to support them and help them through it, not abandon them and make their situation worse. When a couple gets married they take a vow and promise to stay together in sickness and in health and they should stay loyal to their partner, especially among older couples that have spent their entire lives with their partner. I understand that the gender role is different and the responsibilities differ because the wife is usually the care taker, but it is wrong to make a wife feel as if though she is a burden to the husband when she is ill because she does not do that to him. Society and customs and beliefs also influenced this risk of divorce among older married couples when the wife becomes ill because in today’s society if the wife is on a dying bed, the husband is already looking for someone to replace her.

  7. Sometimes when the wife is ill with a chronic disease like cancer, the least she wants to do is hurt her husband. She feels that she is selfish by letting him stay at home and look after her. Hence the wife thinks divorce is the best way to protect him from being hurt. She doesn’t want him to watch her suffer and his life on hold whereas maybe she won’t make it. Especially with a chronic disease like cancer because some people usually don’t survive. She loves her husband so much that she doesn’t want to be a burden to him. She wants him to be happy and move on with his life. At a time like this the couple needs support in order to get through this. That is why it is important for them to seek counseling.

  8. This is an interesting topic to read about. It is true that sickness plays a role in inhibiting the usual routines which couples have, more especially with the elderly.
    The elderly couples are perhaps not as flexible as they were a few years ago when they were newly-weds, thus this means that certain activities which they used to do, are at a limit, therefore having sickness in the relationship further inhibits these activities and may cause the couple not to enjoy their relationship as before. Divorce may be caused by factors like, the husband is not properly equipped with the relevant knowledge of how to deal with the wife’s illness, this also puts him on a vulnerable position of panic and fear and the only way out seems to be a divorce.
    I think it is very important that the elderly couples are trained or given some kind of marital counselling prior to the “sickness” and also during the “sickness”.

  9. women are sensitive creatures and they care and nurture their spouses when ill,with the hope of helping them get well again,if the situation is reversed,the opposite is expected from men because they cant get out of the marriage fast enough when dealing with ill partners,i think when men vow “in sickness and in health” they do so with the hope that there wont be any illness.

  10. Divorce rates are on the rise and one of the reasons couples get divorced is because of illness. I personally cannot understand how married couples can get divorced due to their ‘loved one’ falling ill. I believe that it is when you are ill that you are most in need of your loved ones support. When you are married, you take a vow, to stick with that person through sickness and in health, but this is not the case anymore. As soon as a partner falls ill with a life threatening disease, the other party requests a divorce and their marriage is over. Women are more nurturing than men and this is why women sometimes feel that men are not caring enough for them and they request a divorce as the men do not seem interested in them anymore.

  11. I am sure that when one utters the words “in sickness and health” they say it hoping their future spouse will mean it just as much when they say it. I am female myself and do not hope to find myself being part of the 31%. Males are not nearly as nurturing and emotional as women are,they can be but it is not their nature. This leads me to ask whether males are able to fully comprehend the difference between saying you love someone and actually loving them. The role of nursing comes naturally to women because they are tuned to doing it with their young and they then use these skills secondarily when their husbands fall ill. So should we fully blame males for their behaviour? Also,I agree with you that social pressures are placed more heavily on women than men.

  12. From my personal point of view you can never know or estimate how marriage will be like unless you’ve been there. So most people turn to underestimate marriage or think it always going to be a walk in the park. However if that person says he truelly loves you he should be able to take care of you even in good or in bad situtions

  13. Married couples take vows.These vows include ‘In sickness and in health”.This binds the two people in the relationship to love,nurture and care for each other equally regardless of their state of health.
    Thus both individuals in the marriage should cohere to this vow irrespective of their gender.Because women are said to have been born to nurture and men were for some reason not, does not justify the fact that in marriage both individuals should somehow be submissive at one point.

  14. I agree that women are natural supports, as well as caring and nurturing. It is more likely for them to help their husbands, when they are terminally ill and thus there would less divorces if that is the case. However women like to be cared for and supported too. If their husbands is not going to give them the love and support they need, I can understand their logic in seeking the comfort of friends and family rather than feeling unloved. To me, marriage is a life-long commitment and you promise to stay with that person for the rest of your life, in sickness and in health. If they really loved each other, would they not want to spend their last moments together, in love and unison. I understand that it can be unbearable to see the person you love in a lot of pain and suffering so much so that it later becomes unbearable, but that is no excuse to divorce. Nothing should come between a love that is suppose to be true and eternal. Not even a terminal illness.

  15. A lot of couples in our generation turn to divorce when things start to go wrong, we seem to look for the easy way out which is just to leave and cut our loses. I agree with the opinions of the author when she says that women are most likely the ones who initiates the divorce procedure. I feel that women sometimes forget that which ever illness is affecting her, it is affecting her husband too, maybe even more because he is facing the chance of living his life without his spouse, and any man who really loves his wife won’t be able to cope with such trauma and stress, but leaving will not be an option.

  16. well, above we’ve been told that the couple gets to an agreement that they wont be separate in sickness and in health but when time goes on they find themselves being separated by certain diseases and its most likely to be women being divorced than men. according to my own frame of reference this happens because men are likely to overpower women, it becomes easy for them to take decisions over them, in addition from the tittle we get that its because of its not easy for men to take care of women, yes i hardly agree with the article.

  17. Women aspire to culture, and men aspire to scratch themselves. Women bear the burdens in life and men create those burdens. Women uplift humanity, and men uplift lap dances. If society was left to the whims of men we’d still be in caves carving pictures with our thumbs. My point is: women were created to nurture and care, it’s in their nature, they just can’t help it. Men on the other hand do not have that nurturing sentiment, however it is NOT an excuse to neglect the vows you made in front of God. “In sickness and in health” is not said to entertain the priest and add more ambiance to the wedding but a vow is to solemnly promise to do a specified thing. Which brings us to another point of men not keeping promises. I can go on about men’s short comings. Fact is we make excuses based on gender, genes and race, which is absolutely nonsense.

  18. I am a female who does wish to get married one day and i certainly do not envy to find myself in such a situation. When one utters the words “in sickness and in health” they say so hoping that their future spouse means it too when they say it. I think that the reason why women stand by their husbands in times of ill-health stems from their nature. Females are natural nurturers and they are highly emotional which helps them form deeper connections with their spouses and what they will stick through with their spouses is more heartfelt than with males.

  19. Divorce has become a common issue in the past few years but to think that someone would divorce their spouse because he/she is sick is beyond me. What happened to “in sickness and in health”? This is a very superficial and shallow reason to leave someone but at the same time a person should not be forced to stay in a marriage that they are no longer committed to because this will just lead to stress, heartache and resentment; also the sick party’s condition may worsen. i do not believe for a second that men are not able to take care of their wives (as previously stated in the comments); if people really want to make their marriage work and to look after their spouses then there is nothing in the world stopping them except themselves. men should not have excuses such as “it’s not in their nature” made up for them (as stated in a previous comment) because humans, regardless of their gender, are social creatures hence revel in social interactions so caring for their spouse should be inevitable. However, if someone is not prepared to honour their wedding vows then perhaps they should not have married in the first place.

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