Fathers with low income, including fathers of color, experience all the joys that middle-class fathers have when their children are born and grow up.
But a new study shows that they also struggle with negative emotions that middle-class families may not as frequently face, many connected to financial difficulties and misleading societal stereotypes about dads with low income being “deadbeats” and largely absent from their kids’ lives.
The good news is that these fathers may use these negative emotions in positive ways, said Joyce Lee, lead author of the study and assistant professor of social work at The Ohio State University.
“In our study, when fathers experienced disappointment or discouragement because of their struggles with money and biased images they encountered, they showed resiliency: They really tried to use this as motivation to stay in their children’s lives and do right by their children,” Lee said.
The qualitative study, published recently in the Infant Mental Health Journal, involved 24 fathers aged 23 to 43 – half of whom were Black and 5% who were multiracial – who lived in one small Midwestern city and who participated in an in-depth interview. They were asked to describe their experiences, including their emotions, during the mother’s pregnancy and in their child or children’s early years.
Despite the small sample size, the study is significant because few studies look at the emotional lives of fathers as it relates to their children, and the few that do focus on middle-class fathers, Lee said.
“To have this group of racially diverse fathers with low income talk so vulnerably about their emotional experiences about parenting – it is really remarkable that we were able to capture this data.”
Several themes came to light when examining all the interviews, Lee said.
One was that nearly all fathers mentioned being excited when they found out about their partner’s pregnancy and discussed the joys related to labor and childbirth. Most also talked about the joys of bonding with their infant, and a smaller number mentioned enjoying watching their infants and toddlers meet developmental milestones.
“Seeing the birth and growth of a child, that’s going to be wonderful for anyone regardless of race or class. It is a universal human experience, and we saw it clearly in our interviews with these fathers,” Lee said.
But fathers also described challenges, hardships – and the accompanying negative emotions – that aren’t familiar to most middle-class dads.
Close to half of the fathers reported financial and employment-related challenges when their kids were growing up. “We can’t afford diapers. We got a little bit of [financial] support that we can turn to, but it’s still kind of a struggle,” one father said.
Many fathers discussed related problems, such as securing child care, navigating layoffs, working odd jobs or non-traditional hours and lacking transportation that would allow them to pursue better job opportunities.
Many fathers of color mentioned the negative emotions that came from seeing how Black fathers were portrayed in the media, in social services that they used, and in the larger society.
“Fathers were frustrated by the negative stereotype of Black fathers in poverty being absent or deadbeat,” Lee said. “They knew the reality was different.”
But this was where the resiliency of these fathers with low income became apparent, she said.
To overcome these negative stereotypes, some of the fathers interviewed talked about how they deliberately tried to engage in behaviors opposite of the stereotypes and be seen as “really great dads,” the study found.
“We saw these fathers trying to use the negative emotion about these stereotypes as a way to motivate themselves to be involved in their children’s lives, to be responsible, to do better,” Lee said.
In addition, fathers in the study talked about using humor to help deal with negative emotions and struggles, and some discussed turning to professionals, such as therapists or social workers, and peer mentors for help.
About one-fourth of fathers discussed being incarcerated in terms of their parenting – and how it motivated them to try to be better for their children.
“They wanted to make sure they gave extra attention to their children to make up for when they were away,” she said.
Overall, the findings suggest that fathers with low income are emotionally resilient. That said, more could be done to better support fathers in identifying and regulating their negative parenting emotions, Lee said. Health care providers and others who work with these dads should help them develop healthy coping strategies and find a support network, which could include friends and family, but also possibly mentors, churches and other community groups.
But the fathers could also use the support of the wider society, Lee said.
“As a society, we need to push back against the negative and incorrect stereotypes of fathers with low income ,” she said. “They deserve our support as they try to be the best parents they can be for their children.”
Co-authors on the study were Shawna Lee, Olivia Chang, Muzi Lin and Brenda Volling of the University of Michigan, and Analia Albuja of Northeastern University.
