Sexy Women Make Everyone Feel Bad

November 6, 2008 |

It’s no shock that the portrayal of women in magazines makes women feel like dirt. But did you know images of hot chicks make men feel worse, too? Everyone knows that the way women are portrayed in our culture – sexy, skinny, tall – makes the average woman feel a bit like the gum I had to peel off my shoe this morning. When we look at magazine ads or watch TV shows, we women feel inadequate – and it’s no wonder, when the average woman model weighs up to 25% less than the typical woman and maintains a weight at about 15 to 20% below what is considered healthy for her age and height. But the 40,000 or so ads the average American is exposed to a year aren’t just affecting the girls. A new study coming out of the University of Missouri found that men react negatively to unrealistic ads, too. What’s interesting is it wasn’t images of hot men that got the guys feeling self conscious – it was images of hot women.

The research began by trying to see if men were as negatively affected by men’s magazines as women are by Cosmo and the like. Men that were given men’s magazines like Maxim had lower self image, which got the researchers to question exactly what about the magazines cause the drop in self esteem. So they showed men just the pictures of objectified women, men, and the articles and again checked their esteem levels. They found that, surprisingly, it wasn’t the images of idealized men that made the guys feel inadequate – it was the women. Even more surprising was that the male fashion group reported the least amount of body self-consciousness among the three groups – the guys couldn’t care less what the other men looked like.

If you’ve ever been in high school, it’s obvious why seeing a hot woman would make a less than ideal looking guy feel bad. I mean, what guy hasn’t choked when trying to talk to the head cheerleader? Attractive women are intimidating, and the mere sight of one is enough to cause any average joe to give themselves a quick once-over.

The theory is that a beautiful women makes a man self conscious because the he’s reminded that he’s not in her league – that is, they take one look at a hot girl and quickly realize there’s no way they’re good-looking enough to bang her. Since women have the larger investment in offspring, they tend to be considered the ‘picky’ ones, evolutionarily speaking. The men and their billions of sperm have to compete with other guys to convince a girl that they’ve got the genes to be worth it.

To test this theory, the researchers performed one more experiment. They broke the men into two groups – one received magazine layouts of sexually idealized females and the other received the same layouts with average-looking ‘boyfriends’ added to the photos, with captions about how the female models are attracted to the average-looking men. The men who looked at just the model were more self-conscious, presumably because when the other men saw the bombshells liked ‘normal guys,’ they no longer felt she was out of reach.

Personally, I’d like to see if images of hot men have the same effect on women. Despite the evolutionary argument, I think that women would have the same reaction to male models as men do to female ones. After all, you don’t hear a girl say “oh crap! I gotta go fix my hair!” when this guy walks in the room:

I want you. I need you. Oh baby – oh baby. Read more of my stuff over at Observations of a Nerd

219 Responses to Sexy Women Make Everyone Feel Bad

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  3. Anonymous December 2, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

    Ms. Lindsey – So glad that you feel better! Now hurry up and get out there and HATE some more men!

  4. lindsey April 23, 2012 at 4:21 am #

    Im glad to know the results of this study has it has changed the way i feel about this whole issue. Before i resented objectifyed women in the media and all around because i thought it was a tool the male dominated media used against women. But now im over joyed to know that the male ego is being fractured in the process. Maybe women dont spend all this time on themselves to piss other women off after all.

    Its now time to say keep up the adds.

  5. thedude March 2, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

    Every time I read an article about the science of attraction and the real nature of men and women I feel closer to suicide.

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  10. Michiko Kobayashi January 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm #

    a) I love that there’s an ad next to the article for men who want to meet “hot Chinese girls” and
    b) I’m sexy. I feel good about that. Get over it.
    c) I’m 5ft 4″, at this point I weigh over 150 pounds, my hair does strange things without my consent, and on most week days my uniform will be sneakers, jeans and a hoodie. But I *like* myself.
    Sexy is a state of mind.

  11. genotopia
    genotopia January 6, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

    News to me. Sexy women make me feel great. Maybe I just have a different definition of sexy.

  12. daved November 27, 2011 at 1:00 pm #


  13. hating my self... :( August 5, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    I hate seeing the perfect chicks I’ve had three babies but i definatly don’t have the perfect body I’m not fatty by anymeans but I hate my body for sure how do I get over this crap??????

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  15. american media connexion February 22, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    In my opinion I agree with the statement that looking to perfect women make both men and women feel worse because it is lile looking to a mirror of a perfection that can´t be never reached.

  16. american media connexion February 22, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    In my opinion it is tru that looking to perfect women is worse for our self steem because it is like looking to a perfection that anybody can`t reach.

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  19. hustler in the wizards December 19, 2010 at 9:19 pm #

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  20. bumper stickers December 6, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

    People depending upon there looks or wealth have nothing left when that goes..The ultimate value is love, which is the only thing that lasts, as Shakespeare wrote

  21. cho yung November 22, 2010 at 8:42 pm #

    Personally, I’d like to see if images of hot men have the same effect on women. I think that women would have the same reaction to male models as men do to female ones

  22. Andrew November 21, 2010 at 10:57 am #

    Some brilliant points made here in these posts, yet also I will agree that the original poster has an element of bitterness.

    To clarify on the “generalisations” I would like to say this it is all about inner vcalues ultimately, for example whether a person values outer appearance more than inner qualities.

    Also some people are high-maintenance and competetive than others (both male and female) (whether “hot” or “not”) and they often do this to give the impression that they are more desirable than they actually are.

    The ultimate value is love, which is the only thing that lasts, as Shakespeare wrote

    “Beauty is as a flower, it soon withers and dies.”.

    People depending upon there looks or wealth have nothing left when that goes.

    A person who makes the most of themselves and has the trues inner qualities of love is, I believe, I feel, the most attractive in both the short and the long term. Having love already on the inside also means you don’t “have” to get it from another person, you can give it.

  23. Anonymous November 20, 2010 at 2:36 am #

    i just want to see naked chicks

  24. all star skaters October 24, 2010 at 7:51 pm #

    Personally, I’d like to see if images of hot men have the same effect on women. I think that women would have the same reaction to male models as men do to female ones.

  25. Anonymous October 20, 2010 at 1:00 pm #

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  26. Gold Coast Escort October 12, 2010 at 8:11 pm #

    From the point of view of escorts I’ve got to agree. I work with all sorts of guys with all sorts of body shapes and and fit is sure sexy – but – sexy is attitude and confidence, it starts between the ears for me

  27. RedHotEscort October 12, 2010 at 8:02 pm #

    Maybe the problem is not the photos they are shown rather their own lack of self confidence that is the issue. So many people are lacking the confidence to be who they could be and achieve what they are capable of.

    Lets face it if you are out there doing things exercising and fully living life you are going to have a far better chance of having a great body than sitting in front of the plasma screen every nite.

    My job means that I have to have the hottest sexiest body that i can, you can check me out at if you want but even if I wasn’t an escort I would still be fit active an sexy. The message is look after yourself and there is no reason to feel intimidated by others

  28. Naukri October 9, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    well theoretically u r right. :-)
    Sarkari Naukri

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  32. Anonymous October 2, 2010 at 1:11 am #

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  35. rakesh October 1, 2010 at 4:06 am #

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  36. God September 26, 2010 at 6:58 pm #

    Of course, the portrayal of attractive men doesn’t make men feel the same way. Studies show that women alone are physiologically capable of suffering.

  37. Mel September 24, 2010 at 1:01 pm #

    Megan Box?? Nice Freudian slip…

  38. Mel September 24, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

    Thats about how us average ladies feel when average guys won’t give us the time of day because they’re too busy falling all over themselves trying to get a Megan Fox. Then who’s left for us? Oh yeah, the mouth-breathers who are _also_ shooting out of their league. That’s why a lot of us go for the older guys who know what they want and have their priorities straight. You young bucks think with your wangs too much.

  39. expressions of angst September 23, 2010 at 11:24 pm #

    The reason this is equated to looking like a whore is because that the only thing these women are looked at as providing is sexual pleasure… Anyone can do that… An example of comments seen many times when it comes to these women include things like, “what does her face look like?” and “Who cares?” Obviously this is not a respectable image.

  40. Hossam September 22, 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    From my point of view, sex is the most prominent issue in our contemporary lives because most of the American, Canadian people are still misunderstood so that I think we should step back and review some Islamic resources which have been illustrating that for a long time.
    I absolutely do agree with some people who are respected the desire of sex, however we can interest doing that by Islamic Constitution.

  41. Hossam September 22, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

    From my point of view, sex is the most prominent issue in our contemporary lives because most of the American, Canadian people are still understood so that I think we should step back and review some Islamic resources which have been illustrating that for a long time.
    I absolutely do agree with some people who are respected the desire of sex, however we can interest doing that by Islamic Constitution.

  42. Hossam September 22, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

    From my point of view, sexy is the most prominent issue in our contemporary lives because most of the American, Canadian people are still understood so that I think we should step back and review some Islamic resources which have been illustrating that for a long time.
    I absolutely do agree with some people who are respected the desire of sex, however we can interest doing that by Islamic Constitution.

  43. NAMITHA September 19, 2010 at 5:36 am #


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  54. SJK September 5, 2010 at 1:41 pm #


    You’re right that we live in a society that doesn’t appreciate the very human need men have to discuss feelings. We’ve been taught from a young age to repress and repress some more. And instead of men changing this, we become our own worst enemy by demanding all the stereotypes be realized in how we interact with other men. Unfortunately, women demand these stereotypes, too. What’s worse, we can now add images of the bumbling, not-too-bright male in addition to the uncommunicative and violent icons that still abound. For example, it is understandable how the “girls are smart, boys are, well, boys” insult gained traction after the eons of women being intellectually repressed and not having parity. However, it’s gone too far in the media and is starting to smack of retribution, not to mention all of the damage it’s doing to a future generation of men.

    The answer isn’t violence, or a gender war on the part of men, but to end as many of the stereotypes as we can. Be an advocate for this, Howard. Make known to as many people as you can that men aren’t on earth to be manipulated for image or gain, but that they are full and complex emotionally as well as intellectually. Also that we’re all in this together: When women suffer, men suffer; when men suffer, so do women. I know, you may well be misunderstood, but you might get enough people thinking to change matters. I mean it, be that advocate and you’ll walk through life more enlightened than most.

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  57. Howard August 28, 2010 at 5:55 pm #

    What this so called ‘study’ doesn’t take into account is that for over the past 25 years. The media has been pushing into the minds of boys and men that Men and their bodies are ugly and inferior to women’s. The general consensus is that men are ugly and women are beautiful. Women are cury and nice and men are stocky and unrefined. Boys are preached this everyday in school, the media and in education. Why would a man feel good about himself in anything in this country? He is constantly reminded of being a failure and unappreciated on every level.
    Nobody cares about the feelings of men and boys. That is why things are as they are and they are going to get a whole lot worse. Many women have it in their minds that men can be disposed of and somehow it will become a “woman’s” world. Indeed I would like to see this. Truely it would be interesting to see how humanity will deal with billions of disenfranchised, marginalized, unemployed, uneducated angry young men. If that is not a declaration to begin WW3 then I don’t know what to say. Nothing in the world is more frightning than an angry young man. But in this era, testosterone and male strength is seen as inferior and pointless too. The world will not truly change until boys and men are tended to as they should be. Women have been made into God in the usa/west. Thus as with any false God, they will lead humanity astray and to the edge of destruction. Women are the opposite of life and no man should worship them as anyhting other than what they are. But time has a way of balancing things.

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  59. Ava August 10, 2010 at 11:59 am #

    No, I understand this article. I am more intimidated by hot chicks than hot guys – and I’m a girl. I find it easier to talk to hot guys because they tend to be less b*****.

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  62. im feeling lucky July 9, 2010 at 12:48 am #

    I think guys should wear dresses in the magazines and girls should wear boxers, that way no one gets hurt!!!!!!! No one feels intimidated atleast thats my experience. I know this b/c i have been with many guys and girls. Experience=Muntastic

  63. ak July 8, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

    omg… soo true… just look at all the men in commercials, perfect body, clean shave, tall and handsome… such a disgrace!! everyone should be FAT and UGLY, that way no one will get hurt and offended!

    its the nature of the world, everyone is different, and if looks are not the strongest of one’s trades, maybe one can invest in beautiful brains, or character, charisma… there is soo much more to women than just looks…

    people should stride for perfection, as in physical, so in mental and emotional. if I want to impress somebody, as well as feel good myself, I shall make my best to look the best.

  64. Scat July 8, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    heck I don’t feel bad when around a sexy woman. I know what i can offer that girl and she would be a fool not to accept it now matter how sexy she is. Actually I do prefer sexy woman over the regular plain ones anytime.
    -Scat Man

  65. Tom Cruse July 5, 2010 at 10:38 pm #

    Sad to say, Tidsdale here suffers from gathering excessive engrams from others because of her promiscuity. We should all fell very bad about her and her troubles as a result of her excessive swinging lifestyle.

  66. Jennifer July 5, 2010 at 10:08 pm #

    thats her opinion. and many people do treat sex as a priority.

  67. Bagooly July 3, 2010 at 8:51 pm #

    Thats why in our religion order us to overlook strange woman because if you didn’t look to her you will be pleased and your feeling is pure even jessus said in bible if you look to woman in appetite thats mean you had sex with her so try to take just normal information about islam and wonder why muslims are increasing every year
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  68. Andra July 3, 2010 at 10:21 am #

    The most dangerous thing on this planet is the woman.From Eve to this day…

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  70. Acti June 26, 2010 at 12:01 pm #

    well theoretically u r right.. But, bro, even u know how wasted,loser,dickhead,useless trash kinda piece of shit does an average guy feel when he sees a beautiful girl(megan box) going around with a wrestler type/hunk/hott/perfect guy without even caring for average guy.We just feel like stupid freaks born just to be mere trash can.

    If I become Hitler I would kill all the ugly guys and girls so that they dont have to die every day and every moment for being ugly.

  71. Acti June 26, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    You say this because u r not rejected..and u have a lot of options to choose from.

  72. Joy June 21, 2010 at 1:49 pm #

    Wowo nice to share. It made me laugh too. Sarkari Naukri

  73. Ashley Tidsdale June 20, 2010 at 10:05 pm #

    Well said…I applaud your pluck. This really is a great response.

  74. Ashley Tidsdale June 20, 2010 at 10:01 pm #

    That is a ridiculous comment

  75. KathyC June 15, 2010 at 7:38 pm #

    Really, we need to get past “sexy” being on the outside. True beauty and passion are inward, and they come from being at peace with yourself. Yes, work on your self esteem in whatever way gets results. .

  76. santsingh June 11, 2010 at 6:55 am #

    i feel now sex is most importent in our life.

  77. Article Directory June 3, 2010 at 10:33 pm #

    I agree with this post, sexy women on magazines is just be used to promo somethings and they can do anything to get money.

  78. Josh May 29, 2010 at 1:05 am #

    It seems that many of you have strange ideas of attraction, possibly a result of your movie watching and MTV. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that happiness is not dependent on finding a mate.

    People need to be more realistic. Admit to yourself that you are not the most attractive female or male on the Earth. Stop evaluating yourself in relation to other members of the same sex. Your entire conception of self-esteem is holding back your happiness. Your goal should be zero self-esteem–eliminating the emotional roller coaster that accompanies negative AND positive evaluations of one’s self.

    Women, if you go to clubs and get drunk and grind on random males, please don’t complain about the hedonistic males you’re attracting. Your behavior is causing your own complaints. Pleasure is not happiness. Sex is not happiness. So don’t complain that you can’t find a decent guy if you slather on the makeup, don’t know how to read, can’t appreciate subtlety, and look at the pictures in Cosmo. In fact, women that wear makeup are deceiving males by saying “my genes are better than they actually are.” Also, when women are ovulating, their skin is naturally more red; the point of blush is to unconsciously trick men into thinking that women are ovulating.

    Men, the same message concerning self-esteem applies. Stop comparing yourself to the steroid-abusing wrestlers. Realize that you will never have sex with Megan Fox and that women are sometimes fun to talk to. Most importantly, even if it’s very difficult, you don’t need a mate or even sex for happiness. Realize that women bear the majority of the reproductive burden. Can you imagine what it would be like if you had to stuff cotton up your penis every month? It serves women right that they should be picky. They’re looking for a supporter–one that has financial and emotional stability. This is a good thing. Though you may not be able to change your facial structure, you can definitely increase your MATE VALUE by making more money or being more caring!

    Maybe I’m an idiot. After all, I’ve had only 2 semi-serious relationships in my life and I’m 23, but it seems most people are so fucking silly.

  79. Lulu May 28, 2010 at 9:17 pm #

    guys are pretty simple, if girls will just accept themselves for what they are and flaunt what theyve got guys will love it. Im not exactly model material but i do think im pretty. The only reason i get guys attention is because ive got them all convenced that im the best thing they will ever come their way, whether i am or not that is what they are thinking. if girls are confident and know what they want guys are attracted to it. If you tell a guy you think you arent good enough hes going to think you arent good enough. If you tell a guy you are the best thing ever, hes going to believe you. And if he doesnt, hes not worth your time. Guys like the chase anyway as much as girls like to be chased

  80. Anonymous July 14, 2009 at 5:28 am #

    I am a woman and I think you have a very weird view of us! From what you say it sounds like every woman you have been with acts as though she’s doing you a favour. Well realise this: she’s not. You sound like a nice decent guy and it sounds as though you try very hard to make your woman happy. So why do you go for ones that don’t appreciate you? Women want and need men as much as men want and need women. If the sort of women you’ve been with would dump you in a second for a better offer they must be judging people on the wrong things. Where does love come into this? Find a woman that appreciates you like you appreciate her and I hope you will be very happy

  81. Anonymous July 6, 2009 at 2:52 am #

    I think too that it could be a very interesting comparaison,
    but according to me, men prefer less-hot women …

  82. Anonymous June 29, 2009 at 1:18 pm #

    Magazines are in business to SELL COPIES; and as neanderthal as it is, SEX SELLS! Unfortunately, years of visual programming (by reading these pubs) set up unrealistic expectations and the unenlightened (and clueless!) go through life thinking this extreme exterior perfection is the gauge to their own happiness.

    So the premise of the article: Does seeing a hot woman hit a man’s insecurity button? Well . . . I think THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT IN THE MATING GAME! There’s a fine line between feeling insecure – and feeling challenged! MEN ARE HUNTERS and a smart woman knows this! Your smile and F-factor (fuckability – the overall physical package) will draw him in. Your warmth, confidence, smarts and happiness about life in general will keep him there. Alot of women are focused more on the physical aspect and less on being the interesting, sensual, engaging person that real men are looking for! Previous posts indicate, ‘looks are skin deep,’ and to that I say, AGREED! Smart men know this and once attracted, they get by the looks pretty quickly – and want to know more. Smart women know this too — they know their looks ARE their calling card – JUST this. Women come in all shapes and sizes, thank God, because so do men! ‘Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’ . . . and there’s lots of folks, both men and women, doing the beholding! So, be comfortable with who you are and let your confidence show.

    The call to WOMEN: Get into your best dating condition, both mentally and physically. If you want the best, you’ve gotta be your best. Get in touch with your softer side, your inner diva; do what makes you happy; take care of yourself – eat well and get in some physical activity everyday; read voraciously and follow your passions so that you’ll be an interesting person. Stop trying so hard to find a man! It makes you look desperate! Remember that what you choose to wear when you go out is advertising. You may be attracting what you don’t want! Be classy-sexy and you’ll attract classy-sexy! Think about what you value in a partner and make that your criteria for evaluating ALL the men who will approach you. If they don’t fit the bill, give them a gentle send-off ’cause you don’t want to waste HIS time – nor YOURS. You create your own happiness – men don’t want to feel this weight anyway. LISTEN to everything a man says upon first meeting – a man will tell you everything you need to know about his intentions if you’d only listen objectively! Be a class act and be kind to other women. Build a positive vibe – you may find a new friend – AND she may introduce you to Mr. Right!

    The call to MEN: Ditto on getting into YOUR best dating condition. It’s imperative that you put your best foot forward as there is only one chance for a first impression. Go after women who are your equals mentally. This levels the playing field – you’ll be more comfortable and better equipped to impress her. Approach the woman who smiles back. If your looking to get laid for the night, be prepared for the brush-off. Women can feel a fraud a mile away – and remember, women talk and reputations precede so think about the dynamic you’re setting up for your future. If you’re looking for “quality,” be “quality.” Character, manners, intelligence, integrity and respect go a long way in making a good impression – and in keeping her interested. If you’re NOT looking for quality, you’ll find plenty of interested parties out there too; and that’s ok as long as she’s aware and accepts the agenda – so you both can act responsibly. My gyne, who’s a guy, says “assume that everyone’s infected with some sort of STD today.” He says he sees alot going through his office. BUT, that’s a whole different topic!

    I’m sure I have alot more to say, but I’ve already said enough! Happy dating!!!

    5’5″, 130, entrepreneur, blonde, blue-eyed, fit . . . and beautiful!

  83. Anonymous June 29, 2009 at 10:57 am #

    And in the next couple of decades gravity will take its effect on you, he’ll realize he has spent enough money and effort on someone he is no longer attracted to and you will spend every single waking moment trying to keep yourself outwardly beautiful for a guy who only wanted your body. Meanwhile the average guy will be debt free, happily married to the RIGHT woman for him, and retired comfortably without the hassles of providing botox and xanex for his cougar wife.

  84. Anonymous June 26, 2009 at 4:01 pm #

    I think you are right, your outside mirrors your inside, therefore, if you pretend to be a bitch on the outside, you are actually kinda and friendly on the inside.


  85. Anonymous June 26, 2009 at 11:52 am #

    I’m a very ordinary-looking guy who has been with ordinary-looking women and with very beautiful women. I have never found that a woman’s beauty makes any kind of difference to my chances with her. She either likes you or she doesn’t; and you’ll never understand why, no matter how hard you try. Another point is that even ordinary-looking women expect perfection in their men. No matter who you are, guys, the woman you’re with is settling for you. If she can find someone better, you’re toast unless you can and are inclined to vastly raise your bid. Deal with it. Flatter her, make her feel like a goddess, like she’s the only woman in the world, and even then you have a fifty-fifty shot at best. Have the best time you can within those constraints, and good luck.

  86. CNCuprys June 24, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

    Why shouldn’t a beautiful woman expect someone as special as herself? Essentially you are saying that beautiful women should have to settle for less because they are beautiful.

    It is very easy to blame others (i.e. beautiful people) for your own poor self esteem. “you are beautiful and I am not… therefore it is your fault that I am depressed”. More time should be spent teaching women to love what is special about them because it is not all about looks.

    I consider myself a beautiful woman but I do not for an instant delude myself into thinking that my boyfriend is with me simply because I am beautiful. Actually I would have to say he loves me despite my looks. Many men are actually interested in personality and a brain and the same goes for women.

  87. Anonymous July 15, 2009 at 2:09 pm #

    I wish I could be tall, leggy, with at least size C boobs and a tan for a day- knowing I could turn heads of all various ages of men would feel pretty good.

    Not to brag but that’s me here and like the last “hot girl” here said, while it could be fun it really can not be that great too. I guess its something you can’t turn on or off. Men can be pigs and women have their own insecurites to make you feel alienated. You walk down the street and feel like a piece of meat. People look at you and like the girl before me said ‘you develop complexes’, you’re like are they looking because I have something in my teeth but no wait I didn’t smile, so according to past comments its because they find me attractive. So much to the point that my own effing male doctor had me sitting in front of him unclothed. They see me but not my inside sensitivity. So excuse us men: for being too picky or women: for being too bitchy because sometimes that’s the only way to protect ourselves inside and out. Beautiful, average, or ugly we all have feelings don’t we.

  88. Anonymous July 15, 2009 at 1:38 pm #

    Go Girl. All this is so true!

  89. Anonymous June 22, 2009 at 2:57 pm #

    I know its hard to accept, but it’s human nature to look at other asthetically pleasing humans. I check out hot women all the time myself (I am a heterosexual woman) and what is going through my mind is “Wow, she’s nearly perfect… what genetics” and if a straight guy ogles her, he’s probably thinking, “Wow, she is so smokin hot, I wonder if she’d have sex with me?” – both of these observations are based on looks ONLY, and exist within a vacuum where reality, responsibilities, and current relationships hold no influence… it’s like a theory: ‘would she sleep with me if both of us were single.’

    But men are not two dimensional… their attraction to women is just as complex as our attraction to men. What gets him going isn’t just a tight ass or perfect proportions, it might be the cute way you laugh, the way you smell in the morning, the way you kiss, the cute way your butt shimmies when you walk, or a hundred other things that have to come together to really turn his crank. You have them, she doesn’t.

    Most women have a “dream guy” – he has a look and a set of behaviors that she would LOVE to meet, but as we get older we realize that’s just fantasy. He probably picks at his toes before bed and eats too many onions to REALLY be our dream guy. Plus, his laugh is annoying and he’s far too obsessed with his hair. You get the picture.

    So, in a nutshell, don’t worry about the theorizing… just concentrate on reality. :)

  90. Anonymous June 18, 2009 at 8:45 am #

    That;s wonderfull…are u is a smart woman!
    I would like to now! HEHE!
    Only And to the girls….quit being so transparent in your malice towards those women you perceive to be better than you. Guess what? I am better than you. Not because I can have any man I want based on my looks…
    Josue Victor

  91. Anonymous June 17, 2009 at 6:15 pm #

    Yes, that’s is a good idea. Thanks a lot Hikaye

  92. Anonymous June 17, 2009 at 4:13 pm #

    I’m the original poster, and there’s no way you could make me feel bad.

    You’ve basically made my point. You are complaining that men would like to be objectified? Sorry, why would we do that, when so many men abuse their larger body size, when so many men are watching violent porn? When so many women are just trying to escape being used as body parts for sex?

    You are complaining that “ugly and average guys should give up”.

    Yes, you are making my point. My point was that ugly and average guys should NOT want or chase the hot girl, because there isn’t enough hot girls, so why should they try?

    The difference is, that you think guys like yourself should feel bad about it. WHY? Why can’t you accept someone average like yourself?

    For example: Why should a retail clerk expect to date the CEO of a company? They aren’t similiar….

    Should the average guy cry his whole entire life because he doesn’t own a million dollar house? Should he just give up and then be homeless?

    Why not get an average house and enjoy life????

    This is about people having UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.

    Get over yourself ! The tv and movie industry, porn and sex magazines have sole you a lie. The lie is that there is an unending supply of hot girls that are just waiting for you to trick them into letting you bang them. OPEN YOUR EYES, that’s not the way life is.

    Select someone like yourself! People have been doing it for years, that’s how you were brought into this world.

  93. Anonymous June 17, 2009 at 3:57 pm #

    Some good looking women also have BRAINS. You may not believe it, but it’s true. Some beautiful girls don’t let man-sluts “bang” them.

    No matter how many stupid advice pages that you waste your money on, the beautiful smart girl ALWAYS gets to choose. You are just making advice guys rich, because you desperately want to believe.

    Listen up, AVERAGE GUYS – you can never, ever, say that you can get ANY girl. It’s completely NOT TRUE. I select the guy that I want, and so do about 20 hot girls that I know. They are dating or married to men right now…. and if you approach them in public, you are NOT GOING TO GET THEM NO MATTER WHAT.

    GET realistic. Assess yourself realistically. Look for someone in your league, or go home. Some of us hot girls would like to enjoy our lives with you average boys and your pathetic attempts to force yourself on people that aren’t interested. We are not pieces of meat for you to bang. We are people with brains and hearts and our OWN CHOICES.

  94. Anonymous June 14, 2009 at 12:28 am #

    are a bunch of emotional fucks

  95. Anonymous June 7, 2009 at 9:56 am #

    Heres the big difference between female shallowness and male shallowness. Men get blamed for being “visual” or “shallow” but in reality women, like the writer of this article are much more shallow. Let me explain. Women are the choosers AND rejectors. They are the selective ones. Men aren’t. Men have an infinite number of sperm. Women a finite number of eggs. By nature, women are much more selective. That is why it matters what a man does for a living. How much money he makes. How much power he has etc etc. But women are also JUST as visual as men.

    But here is the difference. Men mostly look at women’s bodies. Biologically speaking. It’s almost subconscious. Scientists say it’s the hip to waist ratio that signals fertility. A high hip to waist ratio can be found in women of ALL shapes and sizes and why men are attracted to MOST women. Most women have this sexual power over men. Even average or ugly women can have this power. All that is needed is a shapely figure with the appropriate hip to waist ratio. Or large boobs. It takes VERY LITTLE to get a man excited visually. So yeah…you could say men are shallow. I know alot of women like to say that. But in reality men are much more forgiving of women since they find MOST women sexual beings and will go ga ga over them.

    So even an average or ugly woman can work out her body if she is overweight and become a sexual being.

    I know women don’t like to be “objectified”, but the reality is that they don’t want to be so by ugly or average men.

    Women on the other hand only look at men with handsome faces as “HOT” or “SEXY” for the most part. Sure money and power can blur that a bit, but in todays age of equality and the media….women want it all. Looks AND Money/Power.

    An average or ugly guy(unlike an average or ugly woman) can hit the gym all he wants to no avail. He can sculpt his body into a Greek Statue and he will NEVER be considered “HOT” by the masses of women. For women it’s all about a man’s face.

    When groups of women get around and talk about a “HOT” guy…it’s ALWAYS referring to his face.

    Unlike a body, a face can’t be changed. So men have it FAR FAR worse than women, and are basically less shallow and more inclusive in what they find attractive. Like I said, MOST women no matter what their face looks like can be SEXY to a WIDE group of men. It doesn’t work the other way around.

    All those ugly and average guys hitting the gym should just give up.

    The flip side is that many women mistakenly think men want supermodels. So they plaster on the make up and buy the latest fashions….when in reality, men don’t give a shit about all that. It is such a myth. Men find women sexy PERIOD. Not because of what they wear or the make up they use to cover their faces.

    The truth is that women do all that to compete with OTHER women. The fashion industry feeds off this competition and is dominated by gay men who WISH they were women.

    Real men find women sexy because of their natural femininity.

    So men have it much worse in my opinion. Where most women can be sexy and have sexual power over men….very few men enjoy this same kind of animal magnetism. A man has to have a chiseled handsome or symmetrical face to pull off that kind of power. You’ve all seen it before. A guy with a great body but ugly face can walk into a room and get ZERO attention or reaction from the ladies. But have a guy with an extremely handsome face walk into the same room with an ok body…and the women will practically fall all over themselves trying to flirt with him.

    Yet if a woman with an average or even ugly face walked into a room but had a fly body or just big boobs….men would fall all over themselves to get to her.

    It’s easy to change a body. Very hard to change a face. So most average men and all ugly men suffer in frustration while their average or ugly counter parts enjoy the joys of sex and attraction.

    The great equalizer is AGE. 40 may be the new 30 now for women. And women can be sexy much longer. But eventually ALL women will “hit the wall” so to speak and lose that power they once enjoyed over men. Plastic surgery can only go so far, and like I said earlier, most men prefer the natural beauty. They don’t want overly made up women. And women who make the mistake of trying to stop time with plastic surgery run the danger of entering “freakville” if they are not careful. Excercise and proper diet go much farther in staving off the effects of time than do numerous face lifts and botox that only turn women into walking freakshows. Don’t do it ladies. There comes a time to let it go and grow old gracefully.

    Women who never develop a personality and only relied on their looks growing up can turn into real angry bitter people. A little humility goes a long way too. I’ve seen many a HOT women snag the HOT guy only to be left for a younger HOTTER trophy down the road. Life can be very lonely when you only see beauty as skin deep. Shallowness is all well and good when you’re young, because like every generation, you think you’re gonna live forever. But time spares no one. And eventually the “power” you once enjoyed in your youth will be gone. When the music stops, will you have a chair to sit in?

    That is why I find women who enjoy their femininity but aren’t attached to their looks or the looks of men the most attractive. Women who aren’t afraid to walk around without makeup(I have ALWAYS found the women I’ve dated MOST sexy when they first wake up in the morning).

    I guess I’ve gone off on a tangent. My intention was not to make the writer of this article feel bad about her “shallowness”. I guess we can all be shallow. But I felt compelled to point out that men aren’t as bad as women say. Yeah we’re visual creatures….but I think we include a MUCH wider variety of what we think is sexy than women do. To us, MOST women are sexy for just being women. Men really get a bad rap. But as the writer here makes clear, women are MUCH more selective and throw out a much smaller net when it comes to what they find SEXY.

    Like I said, the average or ugly dude will NEVER enjoy the same kind of sexual power that an average or ugly woman does. An ugly or average dudes best hope to even come close to that is to be in a Rock Band or to be Rich. But even then…it’s not really the same.

    I think most men would LOVE to be objectified by women. Oggled over and lusted after. Women say they hate this…but really it’s that they don’t want to be lusted over by average or ugly guys.

    Of course I’m talking generally here and only about looks(since thats what the original poster was talking about). But real love is much deeper and less superficial. ALL beauty fades. It’s nice to enjoy youth and beauty while you have it, but cultivating a more well rounded and deeper sense of love is key to true happiness.

  96. Anonymous June 6, 2009 at 12:59 am #

    What has this got to do with this whole site? Hmm? This is about how men feel when they look at so-called ‘sexy’ women – not how to get all ‘barbie’ on yourself. Besides, make-up, pff.

    Women don’t need to be super thin to be sexy. We can be slightly chubby and still look great.

  97. Anonymous June 6, 2009 at 12:45 am #

    I agree with what your saying, but can you say it in a more polite way? God! There is too much swearing in the world and I have always said that people who swear are too stupid to find any real words to convey what they are saying. My generation – teenagers – and the kids coming into society today are learnig from your bad behaviour and stupidity. Grow up! Find other words – words that can be used in polite company – to express your opinion. Freak!

    Sorry to the people who wanted to read my opinion on the experiment. It makes sense that ‘average’ looking blokes would feel inadequate and inferior to ‘sexy’ looking women – I know I feel slightly – just slightly – inferior to good-looking dudes. The ‘average’ man would see the ‘sexy’ woman as out of his league and feel unworthy and insufficient to her ‘presumed’ desires.

    – the 15 year old girl

  98. Anonymous June 2, 2009 at 1:00 am #

    I disagree with your comments. You said ” the reason why the good looking guy gets the good looking girl, is because his self esteem has been boosted his entire life.” Such an over statement, not every good looking guy has some huge boosted self-esteem. Most of the time they are complete assholes, that are too focused on themselves, where you have a caring, very confident average guy that has learned to appreciate him for him. The bases of any persons confidence and personality is based on their up bringin, not by how good looking they are. Remember this, people that are shallow are like puddles you skip around them. Have fun in your endeavors!!

  99. Anonymous June 1, 2009 at 11:04 am #

    contect with me on this id

  100. Anonymous May 28, 2009 at 11:42 am #

    I think some of these comments are being made by women who either aren’t sexy or dont think that they are.

    I’m a damn sexy woman. And I go for guys that would consider me “out of their league”. I’ve had guys get so completely terrified of me they cut the relationship off because they think they have to live up to some impossible standard not to lose me to another guy.

    To the guys, you are only inadequate if you think you are. Otherwise if a sexy girl is into you, she’s into you. Most of us date on personality, not on looks. And there’s no defining leagues. And no I’m not shallow. I want a real relationship with a real man. The label of “average” is just about perspective. No one is average once you get to know them. But some men are cowards. They think in terms of “leagues” and always place themselves on the bottom rung. This is what sets them up for failure with ANY chick. Not just the hot ones.

    And to the girls….quit being so transparent in your malice towards those women you perceive to be better than you. Guess what? I am better than you. Not because I can have any man I want based on my looks. But because I dont put myself in a league of any kind but my own. And thats the league of a confident, intelligent woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go out and get it instead of sit around whining over how I’m not good enough and it’s all men’s fault, magazines fault, society’s fault. It’s your own damn fault.

  101. Anonymous May 25, 2009 at 3:38 pm #

    Sex sells, especially when you’re buying sex.

  102. Anonymous May 23, 2009 at 10:44 pm #

    Number one learn to use spell check and correct your grammar and second most guys are so brainwashed by the crap they’re being fed through the media that many of them don’t know a real woman when they see one. The fact that many “sexy” women tend to be full of themselves and are the same stupid bitches that make fun of average women telling them how they can’t get a man when it’s pretty ironic to see a lot of ‘sexy’ girls and women who are more single than a dollar bill. These so called sexy women are usually ones guys don’t stay with very long once the vanity wears off.

  103. Anonymous May 23, 2009 at 9:52 pm #

    Whether they are “hot” or not, some are charismatic enough to hang with the ones who are. not all hot people are that shallow.

  104. Anonymous May 13, 2009 at 7:44 am #

    “Hot girl” here, and it’s not that great. Most of the attention you get from men is negative (they treat you like an object), and many women assume you’re a bitch and resist your overtures of friendship. You get totally invested in your looks and develop complexes that, according to older hot women I know, don’t go away. Because men tend to treat hot women like Chanel handbags, after 10 years of dating I’ve only met 1 man who was interested in and finally loves me for my character (plus he’s hot; I’m marrying him!!)
    Slap that man of yours next time his eyes stray — you sound awesome and he’s lucky to have you!

  105. Anonymous May 2, 2009 at 3:56 pm #

    In the long run, I would much rather have an average looking girl. I’ve never met a nice girl who was extremely hot. I find myself more attracted to average women than hot ones simply because I don’t think they would turn me down. It’s not that they are desperate, it’s that they’re not bitches. Yes, most hot girls are bitches, and every hot girl I’ve ever met was. So, average, and even unattractive women, keep it up cause I love yah, you’re doin the whole guy race a favor by being real and honest to society.

  106. Anonymous April 27, 2009 at 3:15 pm #

    I completely disagree. Women are crazy. They do not realize what drives them. Any guy can get any girl. The reason why the good looking guy gets the good looking girl is because his self esteem has been boosted his entire life. He hasn’t had to worry about rejection. For the rest of us, all this means is that we have to retrain the way we think–make ourselves into more confident beings. Women do not care about how you look–not in the long run anyways. They care soo much about your personality. If you go up to a hot girl with “I wanna bang you” written all over your face, get in line. So does every other guy. You have to make her feel different. Do something unpredictable because if every guy wants to bang her, she gets to choose, not you. If you can break her concentration for lack of a better word, you increase your odds of getting what you want.

  107. Anonymous April 24, 2009 at 5:40 am #

    He shouldn’t be upset. He should just appreciate, then move on to someone like him.

    The average guy IS NOT going to get a beautiful woman. There’s only so many beautiful women, there isn’t enough for every average guy to have one.

    AND, why should he deserve something more than average? How is that fair?

    Why should the beautiful woman deserve something as special as herself?

    Average guys, get over yourself and date an average woman. There is enough women to go around if you are realistic.

    If you are waiting for Barbie, you are going to be very alone, or will need to spend a lot of your hard-earned cash to buy Barbie!

  108. Anonymous April 6, 2009 at 5:58 am #

    My thoughts on your list.

    Slender isn’t always a good thing. Plump can be just as cute, softer, sweeter. Bony is hard to deal with but average to thick are better then a toothpick.

    Dress depends on your personality. Not just what looks good but, or what other people what. You have to be comfortable and present an image. We judge and stereotype on first sight, even if we don’t want to. So make sure you are putting the right thoughts forward.

    Makeup is a lie men happily accept. I am a man so I don’t have anything to say on this.
    Same on the hair, I’m no expert so I say go with what you feel. Short means powerful, long is sexy, curls are cute. The style along with the type say a lot. Don’t be afraid to go old school and try any number of things from ages past. Sudden changes to your hair will shock men, if they notice, for better or worse.

    Smile. Sexy is in the smile, and that is number one. A smile means happy and that is the most attractive thing any person has. The person who finds you will always want to make you smile.

    Faces have character. Try not to over do it when it comes to making yourself look better. If you want to look young or fake or worse plastic and just like “everybody” else then you should go all out. I can understand acne and other things people hate about themselves. But please leave the laugh lines, those are so sexy and cute.

    Maintain the look but again moderation in all things including moderation. Eat right but also eat good. As for the eyebrows, ugh, please don’t draw them in with angry eyes. Don’t make them so thin. It always makes me wonder if they in a fire accident and got them burned off. Eyebrows affect the proportions of your face so be wary.

    I totally agree with you last point. Looks are only skin deep. Get past looks and get to know people then you will find true beauty. The opposite is true, knowing a good looking person with an ugly soul and you will wonder why mirrors don’t crack around them.


  109. Anonymous March 26, 2009 at 11:27 am #

    You too, can be a sexy woman at any age! Follow these tips:

    1) Get to an optimal body weight. The less cute you are in the face and/or the shorter you are, the more slender/fit you need to be.

    2) Dress really well. Get professional help with this if at all possible. If not, get some women’s magazines and study up. A lot of people are transformed with the right dress and makeup.

    3) Do wear makeup and wear it well. I cannot overstate the transformative power of well applied makeup.

    4) Get a killer hairdo; go for length. It’s no mistake that Victoria Secret models, PB Bunnies and Maxim Girls have thick, long flowing hair. Long hair rules for sex appeal. If you can’t go really long, go for shoulder length. And, If you can’t achieve it, weave it.

    5) Teeth. A stunning smile is a cincher. If your teeth are crooked, spaced, or you have a gummy smile, etc., take care of it! If your teeth are dingy looking, get them whitened.

    6) If you’re “old” (35+) and have crows feet, laugh lines, or under eye wrinkles or adult acne, go to a dermatologist and get it taken care of. Get microdermabrasion for splotchy dull skin. if you have a “turkey neck” get Thermage. This stuff ain’t cheap, but hey, you either want to be hot or you don’t…

    7) Maintain your looks. Exercise, Eat right, Hydrate, Exfoliate, wear sunscreen, pamper yourself (mani/pedi, eyebrows, waxes, massage) and repeat.

    8) Remember looks are only skin deep. Take time to develop your intelligence, both mental and emotional. Read, have something to say, be humble and be kind. Peace!

  110. karlaparlour March 15, 2009 at 9:16 pm #

    Yeah, I`m an average chick, yep I am attainable. Yet I`m not the hot one guys trip over on the street or loose their tongue with. I wish I was that girl for just one day. I wonder how it feels to be that hot. I got the tall, dark and handsome guy who loves me heaps, yet I worry about losing him to someone he can`t help keeping his eyes off. Its hard being around him when he is oggling really hot chicks, I think maybe he deserves to be with them, not me, cause I am more plain. I`m ok never been short of a man. I`m short, white skin, average, not overweight and 40 with one child- and yeah a 30 yr old is looking hotter now. I wish I could be tall, leggy, with at least size C boobs and a tan for a day- knowing I could turn heads of all various ages of men would feel pretty good. How many men dream of having an average girl over a hot one? I would liken myself closer to Bridget Jones without makeup on a normal day. I think the fact I am not dumb and can hold a conversation gets me over the line. Its stressful being average, especially now surrounded by hot mamas who look like they have never given birth while my hips popped out from a size 8-10, and now a 12. I bust my butt at the gym and look after myself to maintain myself and my relationship..

  111. Anonymous March 20, 2009 at 6:52 am #

    So I came to the site to look at different poses… What I got was a lot of ideas about what people think of the content. So my opinion, not that any one asked is this. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder! I have taken pics of the ” hot ” and the ” average ” The difference is who you think is hot and average. Most women are gorgeous, they just don’t think so because they have had some guy or girl tell them that they are worthless and ugly! Reality Any one can be amazing, and no it doesn’t take drugs diet or surgery. It takes self awareness confidence. Are the leggy models fun to look at? Yes, and so is a bright pink V W bus… The point Im trying to make is that any one can be and should be beautiful! And if we all start to treat people that way and teach our children to be confident that they are then we will see the change that we all so desperately need.
    pure enchantment photography

  112. Anonymous March 22, 2009 at 1:02 pm #

    Sex sells, especially when you’re selling sex.

  113. Anonymous March 30, 2009 at 11:49 am #

    take a beta-blocker.

  114. Anonymous April 8, 2009 at 8:12 am #

    Women have been exploited sence time has begun. The main problem is that their are women out there whom line up to be exploited. The money is good, and alot of women just show off their body. Then there are those who get paid to perform in Adult XXX movies. Women hold a certain power over men, and being a man, I have curiosity’s as well. But im not out looking for a cheap thrill. As long as there is a man or woman looking at these photo’s, or movies; then there will always be someone performing, or showing it off.
    We as a society are shallow minded, and just generally looking to be happy, and satisfied.


  115. Anonymous March 2, 2009 at 11:44 pm #

    I feel a woman or a man can be really good looking on the outside, but as soon as he/she open’s their mouths and sh..t flies, its a turn off.. I dont care how beautiful you are on the out side, looks are skin deep. I wouldn’t want an over size person only because that would mean he/she didnt care about themself to allow anyone to want to get close to him/her. Personality counts, good hygene a must, a sence of humor, and a man or woman that can hold down a job is attractive.. Communication, the willingness to be yourself, and have self confidence is also attractive. Most men dont want a woman that is high maintenance because he cant afford to keep her or her interests, and if a woman has a body to die for, he would only feel insecure on who else may have her attention.

  116. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 2:49 pm #

    Excellent points. I can’t stand men who try to make you feel guilty for not dating someone of their category (race, income, looks, etc.). Are THEY dating someone of their own category? NO. Then they don’t have the right to judge. They’re just slimy climbers.

  117. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 2:42 pm #

    Your thinking is full of flaws. What you need to understand is that there’s a BIG power imbalance between women and men. Women don’t ogle men because if you show obvious sexual interest in a guy he’ll label you a “slut” and treat you badly and even violently. Is a woman going to go around ogling guys so that they’ll attack her? You have no understanding of what it is to be a woman in this world.
    And don’t blame everything on eggs and sperm. Women would make MUCH different reproductive choices if we had as much economic independence as men. It’s a matter of economics, not biology.

  118. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 2:25 pm #

    And for all the men who want a beautiful woman, follow the same steps!

  119. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 2:18 pm #

    But do you try to get “revenge” on the good looking guys you feel inferior to? That’s what men do to beautiful women. And that’s the difference between women and men. Women don’t feel entitled to have sex with all men like men feel they should be able to have sex with all women.

  120. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 2:00 pm #

    Good post. If you feel bad about how you look, DO something about it instead of tearing others down, just like if you feel bad about your intelligence or income. Life is hard for everybody. It’s very obvious when people resent others’ success and it just makes you look pathetic.

  121. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 1:51 pm #

    If a beautiful woman just shows common courtesy to a man, he often takes it as a sign that she wants him. Do us a favor and actually think about how attractive you are and if a beautiful woman would find you attractive before you embarrass yourself making unwelcome overtures.

  122. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 1:47 pm #

    In my experience the jealous, average or ugly women are the real bitches. They act like they have no pride in their character with their pathetic attempts to bring us down. Jealousy is not beautiful. Pettiness is not beautiful. Your outside mirrors your inside. If you were a proactive person you would probably feel good about how you look, but instead you give up and try to bring down women you envy in ways that just make you look uglier. There’s a word for that. LOSER.
    And yeah, most of the men you attract are jerks, because most men and most people ARE jerks. If you want to see how disgusting humanity is, be beautiful.

  123. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 1:38 pm #

    Yeah, we don’t need a boyfriend to prove anything. Anyone can see we could have a boyfriend if that was all we wanted, but we hold out for quality.

  124. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 1:21 pm #

    This is true. We know how you men think. And I make a point of looking at the man’s appearance and figuring out if I think he’s attractive or not because it’s only fair. There’s no guy who decides to be with a woman who he doesn’t find sexually attractive but has a wonderful personality. Men only pick women they’d like to have sex with. If a man expects me to have sex with him it’s only fair that I be attracted to him. So if you want a beautiful woman you have to spend as much time making yourself attractive as she does. Why should I make such an effort for a guy who doesn’t bother?
    Plus, we know the only reason you act so nice is because you know you have no other way of making us interested in you. And the reason you act so mean is because you’re trying to hide that you want us and/or you think you can make us underestimate our own worth. None of your bullshit will work on a woman with experience with men, and beautiful women see it all.

  125. Anonymous April 21, 2009 at 12:47 pm #

    i sapport this statement all the way… when a man feels that a women is beautiful they tend to back off degrade themselfes and say” o i will never get her” when they should be thinking positive… if a male believe the female is not “out of his league” he wont be scared to approach her. she will put less stress on the male.. it happend to me and still does rading this makes me just want to tell that voice thats says “you’ll never get her to shut up” all males should listen up and BE CONVIDENT GO GET THEM if she says no then it happens to the best get up and try again

    Michael A. Fox

  126. Anonymous January 27, 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    Theres way too many losers without self confidence for woman to worry too much about the fact they dont look like a 9 or a 10 out of ten. I mean Woman who think are superior to other woman because they are hot, for me thats just another woman story of bullshit i mean i dont see the difference between a sexy ass girl and a ugly bitch. They are both the same, in fact sometimes i find uglyer girls more interesting. Girls who feel insecure from seeing hotter girls in magazine should stop fucking reading magazines, i mean all that shit is media fuck up thats always been around. How can woman feel comfortable when their constently thinking, ‘im in a fight to look the best, have the best man, best this, look like her’, its all bullshit. Girls only thing you gotta worry about is your health, you happiness, you comfortability to socialize, communicate with the world and to show that your interesting in someway. Not to fucking look like a hot bitch thats only 3 percent of fuckhead might get to fuck one day.

  127. Anonymous January 9, 2009 at 3:57 pm #

    While it lasts, aye ole boy? (Which by your own admission it doesn’t)

    Perhaps you need to think using your big brain and work on your personality instead of thinking with your “little brain”

  128. Anonymous December 19, 2008 at 11:17 am #

    okay so taking about weight doesn’t have much to do with the evidence, skinniness isn’t usually considered ‘the’ most attractive part of a woman.

    Besides I agree with one of the other posters, it would be a better test if they compared the ‘model’ with the pretty ‘girl next door’ who is attainable. doubt the show Beauty and the Geek helped the self esteem of that many men.

  129. Anonymous December 1, 2008 at 2:40 pm #

    Sexy girls drive me crazy but i don’t know why i don’t talk to them and when i do, i look kinda stupid. am i nerdy or something?

  130. Anonymous December 6, 2008 at 6:20 am #

    I am a man who could generously be described as a ‘Clydesdale’, I’m a big man. I also date some incredible women. I’ve dated models who look incredible. They don’t make me feel bad, they make me feel wonderful.

  131. Anonymous November 20, 2008 at 4:46 am #

    After reading this article, I tested my self-image quotient with this: Who in today’s popular culture would be among my three choices to be stuck with alone on an uncharted island? In no particular order, and totally interchangeable, these three popped up immediately: Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, and Lisa Randall. The key attribute? A long shelf life in smart, self-assured and interesting. The fact that they are all three physically attractive women is certainly part of it, but the bottom line is that no matter how attractive a woman might be–or find me!–for an hour or so a day, if she and I do not find it fun to be with one another the other 23 hours, then I might as well be alone. This is not to say that there are not culturally-defined hotties out there who aren’t smart, self-assured and interesting; there are. But none of them popped immediately into my head at the thought of spending the rest of my life alone on a desert island with one other person.

  132. Anonymous November 19, 2008 at 4:28 pm #

    oh girl come to papa aaw..but im thinking, why man,when he see a sexy girl, beautiful and slim they became crazy….hmmmm.girls are things can admired with many man……ohhhhhhh..but for me it is normal because as we see in our environment, sexy girls go out to the city and dreesed a crazy dress all man that can see her is will become paranoid….why girls dreesed like britney spears…is that a big question in my mind are they want to be told or just be paranoid………

  133. Anonymous July 15, 2009 at 2:27 pm #

    You sound like a doll. Keep being yourself. That’s no way to live thinking your man might go off with someone else. If he looks at any girl, which I find disrespectful esp if your there, smack him upside the head and tell him to take a hike.

  134. Anonymous November 15, 2008 at 5:33 pm #

    5’11, blonde hair, blue eyes a little overweight. 170 according to some that is “average”. Being 49 I have plenty to say on this subject, so much so that I am writing a book. Historically women’s bodies have been idealized, Botticelli to Andy Warhol, Cleopatra to “sexy” Sarah Palin. We all have our view of what turns us on. Most americans go for the supermodel Heidi Klum or Giselle. Until a year ago I was 150 very athletic and fit, then I went through menopause and gained 20 pounds. I don’t feel as sexy, I’m not as motivated and I don’t primp as much. So Yeah!!! Weight does matter. I have taught “overweight” aerobics to women who wouldn’t go to the gym because they felt uncomfortable. To conclude I would say that beauty comes from several places…
    1. Self image, self confidence. What you believe about yourself is generated to others. And motivates you to stay healthy
    2. Some people prefer anorexia thin, others prefer buxom and vuloptuous. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Although grace, poise and posture are paramount to any beautiful women.
    3. Only the wealthy can afford plastic surgery, the rest of us have to rely on self discipline. You don’t get an endorphin blast from surgery.
    4. My sister “was” the Prom queen, I was the ugly duckling. Now her looks have gone, when I enter a room people stop and take notice.
    5. Lastly, I work in a man’s field. It’s true that men are intimidated and women diss me. I’ve dated much younger guys, which are more gentle men than gys my age…but in the end I married an average man, that could provide financially for me.
    6. As humans we seek out companionship and use our resources to obtain what we desire. Magazines will always be around to tempt us. When we know ourselves then media will be irrelevant and we can see people for who they are. A sum of “all” there parts.
    7. Sex sells! Tall buxom blonde. :)

  135. Anonymous November 13, 2008 at 1:44 pm #

    They don’t need such a study to know what the average dude feels when a beautiful woman walks by. It is a real fact of life no need to spend time and money on picky definitions. As for what woman need my opinion is that no woman knows what she needs. As every human the more you give her the more she will ask for. But none can buy love.

  136. Anonymous November 12, 2008 at 5:00 am #

    Average weight is irrelevent. A woman can be 165lbs and appear skinny…if she is 5’11’. The criteria needs to be Body Mass Index or at least body fat %. Define “models”. A fashion or runway model is usually very different than one who appears in Maxim or Playboy. Was the face concidered? It is the most important feature to both men and women in physical appraisal. The out-of-my league phenomonon is a combination of many factors, percieved and real…appearance, social status, education, age, etc.

  137. Anonymous November 9, 2008 at 11:52 am #

    Wow – that’s a negative viewpoint. Women are not just after money! At least I’m not – or I wouldn’t date a teacher :). I don’t think how the sexy women feel is the point – the point is that magazine imagery makes both genders feel worse about themselves. How the women in those magazines feel is irrelevant – though, probably true that many are not happy.

  138. wilcoxclynn November 7, 2008 at 5:32 am #

    1. A agree they should look at non-‘sexy’ women vs. sexy. What they did do, though, is that last experiment – which took away the ‘out of their league’ feeling by making the models appear to like normal-looking guys, and found a difference, so there is some good support for their theory.

    2. As for ‘how’ they measured mood/etc, this is what Science Daily says about the study “[they] measured male body self-consciousness (a participant’s awareness and tendency to monitor one’s appearance) and appearance anxiety (the anticipation of threatening stimuli). Participants were asked questions such as “During the day, I think about how I look,” and then asked the same questions a year later.”

    3. I don’t know how attractive/unattractive the men were, but I would guess they were probably average looking guys. Would super-hot men have the same effect? Maybe not, but on average men might all react this way – the hot ones don’t, the ugly ones do doubly so. It would be interesting to split them by attractiveness and see what happens…

    4. I would be interested if men react differently to images of powerful-looking men and normal guys… Maybe the ads weren’t threatening because they were just male fashion models? Who knows? I think the study is still very interesting.


  139. Anonymous November 7, 2008 at 1:49 am #

    Men may not care what other men look like; however, many obsess about their relative levels of competence in some field.

    Competence, attractiveness — if you aim too directly at either you can expect poor results. The most attractive thing about anyone is virtue.

  140. Anonymous November 6, 2008 at 8:28 pm #

    You need a comparison between how men feel about hot women versus how men feel about less-hot women.

  141. Anonymous November 6, 2008 at 8:25 pm #

    What exactly was being measured here? I mean, did they show men photos of beautiful, thin, airbrushed women and then ask “Rate how you feel on a scale of 1 to 7″?

    Additionally, where’s the control? To prove that men feel lower self-confidence because of a woman “physically out if his league,” you need to compare men’s responses to how women feel about average women. A comparison between women’s responses to beautiful women and men’s responses to beautiful women tells us that people – someone tell the Times! – have temporarily lower self esteem when confronted with very hot women. Maybe men just feel nervous about women.

  142. Anonymous November 6, 2008 at 7:08 pm #

    This makes no sense if you are attractive.

  143. Anonymous November 6, 2008 at 6:11 pm #

    Think about it this way: another site I found had women age 25-40 weighing (on average) 132-144 lbs. 25% of 140 lbs is 35 lbs- and models weighing around 105 isn’t that unbelievable – especially accounting for height (the average non model is a lot shorter than the average model). The BMI for a 20 year old model who is 5’8″ weighing even 115 is still anorexic – 17.48.

    To be honest, I found the stat line on another site talking in general about model weights, and it didn’t have a technical citation (I know! Bad scientist! Get a citation!). But given the above, I believe it’s probably not far off.

  144. Anonymous November 6, 2008 at 3:04 pm #

    Women’s magazines are about how to use sex to get money from men.

    Men’s magazines (e.g. Forbes) are about how to use money to get sex. You should find out how it makes men feel to be compared to rich men.

  145. Anonymous November 6, 2008 at 2:55 pm #

    and then convince you to buy the next issue and some more crap to feel better about yourself.

    Average body weight means nothing. The real questions are what is your fat % and what is your cardiovascular health?

    Unfortunately the majority of people in the first world today are fat and out of shape. To claim otherwise is just excuses.

    We should not look like models or bodybuilders but we should look more like (drug tested) Olympic athletes than we do.

    – Ugly American

  146. NeuroJoe November 6, 2008 at 12:30 pm #

    The data given for weight don’t seem to jibe quite right. From the NHANES data, the average adult female weight in the US is about 163. This data is over 5 years old so it’s likely higher than that now. If a model is about 25% below 163 (~122 lbs), she’s 15-20% underweight? That’s akin to saying that 163 (or a bit lower than that) is just about the right weight for the average adult female. Average body fat (or at least recommended guidelines) call for somewhere in the low 20%s for the model age years. That most certainly translates into a weight lower than 163 for an average build female.

    Joe Burdo
    Assistant Professor of Neurobiology
    Bridgewater State College
    (My bizarre and/or nonsensical rantings may not reflect the beliefs of who signs my paychecks!)

  147. Renaisauce November 6, 2008 at 12:29 pm #

    Did they do this experiment with guys that were in the league of the hot women, or did they just use people who already had esteem issues? I doubt that Brad Pitt loses his self-confidence every time he’s around Angelina.

  148. wilcoxclynn November 6, 2008 at 11:44 am #


  149. Anonymous November 6, 2008 at 10:09 am #

    … makes me kind of happy. Cute science chicks rule!

  150. Anonymous December 5, 2008 at 11:45 pm #

    I was always skeptical of the idea that women buy fashion magazines in droves even though the pictures supposedly make them feel bad. I am frankly disbelieving that men would buy porn if it made them miserable.

    Maybe the only people who feel threatened by beautiful people are whiny, self entitled egoists who resent anyone who has something they don’t have, be it superior looks, intelligence or income. Maybe the rest of us are adults who know that in the real world there are going to be people who surpass is in some area. More to the point, maybe most of us don’t expect everyone else to cater to our insecurities.

  151. Anonymous November 9, 2008 at 9:32 am #

    Women will do anything to get money and attention = they will shed their weight, their clothes … The article does not cover the fact that most sexy girls often undergo depression and addiction .. because they have no self esteem and they worry about their security as their beauty and sex appeal starts fading

  152. Anonymous May 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm #

    Great comment, Anonymous. Its so very ironic. As women (and I’m generalizing here) we want love, respect, stability and to be considered special. However, we’re willing to dress and act like whores and allow ourselves to be objectified so that we get can compete with other women and win a man’s attention. In the end, the men we attract by doing this are the ones with an intimacy/attachment disorder (sex addict) who will be on to the next conquest whether they marry you or not. The only way to actually deal with men is to focus on loving yourself. And this is really really hard for a lot of women who depend of a man for their identity, security, etc. However, love and depend on yourself. Be realistic about men, because as the diagram shows, most are not very evolved and if they are, they are hard to find. I’ve had a really hard time letting go of my fairytale fantasy of the happily-ever-after. The only way you can ‘attract’ a good man is with a lot of self love. Trust me, you don’t want the ones who are looking for the hotties. Even if you’re good looking, stay away from them. They’re toxic and will bring you down. Love yourself, and you’ll attract someone who can also love you. Otherwise, you’ll go out with the charming neandrathall who is hiding the fact that he is a raging sex addict (attachment and intimacy disorder that makes them hunt for the perfect mate, which they never find until they completely screw up their lives… and yours) And if you never find that rare evolved man, who cares? You always have your friends, yourself and your serenity. I married a man who I thought was perfect and he turned out to be one of those raging sex addicts. Hes been in therapy for a year now and although hes making progress, my only goal is to love myself enough to detach from him and set up my boundaries so that if he relapses, those boundaries will protect me (I will not live with an active addict) Its been really hard for me, but I learned how to turn my lonliness into solitude and I think I could actually be happy alone. We need men less than we think.

  153. Anonymous May 17, 2010 at 12:12 am #

    or google search How to get rid of acne or repleace the word acne with scars etc i’m in a similier situation but with a bad case of gum diesease which i find i have to treat myself (quite well these days)for since the doctors and dentists don’t know what it was or how to treat it.

  154. Anonymous May 15, 2010 at 3:47 pm #

    Women have been defined by our bodies for a very long time. Our bodies are considered public property and it’s considered ok for everyone to comment on the “quality” of our body, as if we were parcels of land for sale, the Earth being merely another dead thing to appropriate and drive a stake into.

    It’s interesting that someone tells me what I need to look like, that that preference is not based on what the majority of attractive women in the world actually look like, real world women that real world men are attracted to, and that I’m punished for not taking that advice, and for daring to try to be content with the body I have, which does not in any way match the “sexy” magazine cover. The concept of fitness is also arbitrary. If someone decided that attractiveness and fitness for women equaled being fat and strong, then we’d all shit ourselve to try to be those things, but because it equals something else, we try hard to be whatever those standards are, standards that someone else has decided for us and that we never even question.

    Sex is a part of life, and, as a women, I’d like to be celebrated for my natural sexiness, which does not match the magazines and never will, and also for my intelligence, my nurturing, and my hard work to make myself and my small part of the world a more evolved person/place. I am a complete being, and I embody many characteristics and qualities. If attractiveness and so called fitness had a much broader connotation than they currently do, maybe then we’d see both women and men who are healthier and less obbsessed with standards that aren’t even their own.

  155. Anonymous May 14, 2010 at 11:27 am #

    The reason this is equated to looking like a whore is because that the only thing these women are looked at as providing is sexual pleasure… Anyone can do that… An example of comments seen many times when it comes to these women include things like, “what does her face look like?” and “Who cares?” Obviously this is not a respectable image.

    So please answer this… Why is it that men want to see women dressed up like tramps/whores, yet a ‘respectable’ woman is publically condemned if there are public images of her in a sexy picture? For example an actress who has posed in a sexy picture for a magazine… Men want the excitement of a sexy tramp, yet they want their partner to be ‘respectable’. Notice the word RESPECTABLE. And what about a woman’s need to be sexually desired by her man? Noone cares about that, we only see comments about what a man desires from many sexy women, slim, large breasts, etc., etc., etc. It seems pretty insensitive to expect women to ‘just understand’ that men want strip bars and to watch other women naked. How is a woman supposed to feel like she’s not being cheated when she wonders while they are having sex when he comes home that night if he is thinking about the stripper he was watching earlier? We always hear about a man’s need for sex. What about a woman’s need to be the only one? Doesn’t anyone care?

    If this sort of thing doesn’t make women seem inferior, why is this a very common issue? Why do we use the word, ‘respectable’???

    And why is it that there are so many comments about women needing to stay looking good for their man, yet many of the most beautiful women in the world are still cheated on? Rather than providing all the stimuli that cause men to go out and look elsewhere, what would be the difference if social stimuli focused on keeping couples together?

  156. Anonymous May 14, 2010 at 10:33 am #

    It’s no wonder why it is hard for women to find friendship with each other. Often women find themselves competing with the women they know in their lives for their own partner’s attention. I don’t understand why it is expected that women just ‘understand’ that men want to look at other women and be with other women and let this happen. What about the regard for women and their feelings. I think society has put way too many expectations on women. Successful women need to be pretty, good at what they do and keep themselves pretty for their men, yet I’ve never heard it anywhere that a man should do the same. A man is respected for being good at what they do and are appreciated it. How can society expect a woman to be happy knowing her partner wants to look at other women or be with other women? One comment was we should just understand! What an arrogant, selfish attitude! How is a woman ever to feel secure in a relationship when men are encouraged to ‘look around’. I think this shows a complete lack of respect to women. What about a woman’s need for intimacy with her partner? How can you feel loved and intimate with your partner and special to your partner and yet be expected to let him find pleasure in looking everywhere else. So many of the divorces today and break up of relationships is caused by cheating. Don’t you think that encouraging men to look elsewhere doesn’t help this? It almost provokes it, doesn’t it? Let’s pretend and reverse the roles for a second. How would men feel if they were in put in this position? Everywhere we look, everywhere they go, we see pictures of ‘hot’ women in compromising, raunchy positions bearing all, touching other naked women, topless bars, Hooters for god sake, most advertising with women bulging out of their shirts, or the ‘average man’ (in a relationship or not)surrounded by half naked women for his viewing pleasure. Strip bars and porn magazines, and bars with women dancing in cages. Of course, I understand that many women have played a large part in setting up the social imiage that exists today by posing in raunch positions in magazines and being a part of porn, etc. This is largely due to the fact that they are just looking for attention. If only people understood that most of these women were abused during childhood (look it up/do the research) and the effect it had on them. They need to learn how to get attention/affection in other ways. If only the men that look at this crap actually cared. It would be like boycotting Walmart for their bad;immoral practices.

  157. Jeff May 2, 2010 at 2:54 pm #

    Absolutely! Rock on, Bikini Mom!

  158. Bikini Mom April 29, 2010 at 3:41 pm #

    I think one of the problems with our society is we want to standardize mediocrity and are supposed to make everything politically correct, no profiling, no judgment, right or wrong. Fact is beautiful people are more sought after than les attractive people. It’s the same in all aspects of society whether it’s a job, a birthday present, hair style, car what ever. As humans we appreciate beautiful things. Yes, we all have a different perspective on what beauty represents. If someone’s self esteem feels less than because someone is prettier than aren’t they the one with the issues. Seems like all we want to do is blame parents, advertisers, peers, bosses etc… For our own shot comings. I say get over it!

  159. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa April 27, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    that made me laugh out loud.

  160. Peegirls April 24, 2010 at 4:18 am #

    “Beauty is a tool to to weed out the weak” I kinda like that one. It’s more fitting than many would think. Just look at many of the female leaders in your own company. They ain’t ugly women who don’t gave a damn about their looks. Most success women do look good.

  161. Just me April 19, 2010 at 10:58 pm #

    What do you mean by average guys? Looks, height, money, personality. What makes a guy average vs. desirable. Can a kind average guy get hot girls? It sounds like from what you are saying that you hate men who are arrogant regardless of where they are in the scale of desirability. Am I correct? Or, are you saying that a so called “highly desirable” guy can be arrogant, unkind, and say what ever he wants and you will still want him. Any one reading your comment, who is was not lucky at birth, in looks, education, or influence, seems doomed to never have what they want. What kind of achievement is birth luck of genetics or money. I would like to believe in a world where if you work hard you can achieve the things you want regardless of what you were born into.

  162. Amelie March 30, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

    oh look, just remember this: so many “men” are more likely to screw anything that moves, should a sheep feel flattered?

    Im not talking about you, ok? but about them. The men that make you feel worthless, are the worthless ones. So, you are safe from them. Are all men like that? No. There are some nice ones, maybe hard to find, but don´t believe romantic comedies, life is tough, and so must be you.

    Not bitter. Laugh, dance, dont give a sh*t about them.

    This is your only life, and your best revenge is to enjoy it with ot without them.

    If you just want sex, that´s easy for any woman.
    If it’s love, that’s hard for everyone.


  163. Amelie March 30, 2010 at 1:59 pm #

    oh look, just remember this: so many “men” are more likely to screw anything that moves, should a sheep feel flattered?

    Im not talking about you, ok? but about them. The men that make you feel worthless, are the worthless ones. So, you are safe from them. Are all men like that? No. There are some nice ones, maybe hard to find, but don´t believe romantic comedies, life is tough, and so must be you.

    Not bitter. Laugh, dance, dont give a sh*t about them.

    This is your only life, and your best revenge is to enjoy it with ot without them.

    If you just want sex, that´s easy for any woman.
    If it’s love, that’s hard for everyone.


  164. sab March 24, 2010 at 6:42 am #

    how to delicious sex with girl

  165. Odysseus March 22, 2010 at 5:39 am #

    I wish I could meet you. What you say is so sensitively spoken and reassuring. I could love someone like you

  166. Anonymous1143 March 4, 2010 at 9:48 am #

    This should actually fly in the face of the simplistic idea that men have lots of sperm and should try to impregnate every woman they see. It is obvious that men care about rejection and from an evolutionary perspective you might say men should choose who they spend there time and effort on. In other words they act like they have something to loose. Getting anxious suggests that you have selected amongst a group of options and that is what you want not something else.

  167. iknowyouwantme. February 27, 2010 at 1:30 am #

    sup mutha fucka!

  168. afterwop February 25, 2010 at 4:59 am #

    When it comes to self-consciousness men have always been unaffected by the looks of other men, while women on the other hand are very sensitive about the way they look compared to other women. It surprises me because of the competitive nature of men, but the explanation could be that most men rely on wits rather than looks.
    Monochrome Art what is blair rewards

  169. KD February 23, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    I couldn’t agree more. However there are many percpectives to see this from. You believe because you are not gorgeous that you don’t turn a mans head. I’m hear to tell you that society has become so numb to the natural relationship between men and woman that it doesn’t matter what you look like. I am tall, gorgeous with exactly the right hip/waist ratio. I may turn heads but that is about it. Men don’t approach me or speak to me ever and I have the biggest heart of all my girlfriends. Most of the girls I know are catty and compete nonstop with each other. Just like you I feel that I am just me. I want one man to love and desire me for inner and outer beauty. The outer beauty will fade no matter how many times a week I go to the gym.

    I look at all the average people and feel jealous because I think they are the ones who have it so much easier. A man feels so much more comfortable with average women. Average men are terrifid of me and on the flip side all the hot men who chase me are into games and they are soooo stuck on themselves that it doesn’t matter how beautiful I am, because the next beautiful woman is going to turn their head too.

    I do believe it is important for both men and women to take care of themselves for health reasons and I am not attracted to unhealthy men. It just doesn’t fit in my lifestyle. Whenever I am around one and they are eating nasty I just want to encourage them to go to the gym and get frustrated when they reject the idea over and over again.

    One more point. I do agree with the media creating an unrealistic image however I believe it is very important to acknowledge the fact that americans are more obese than ever and I believe that plays an important role too. If women all looked like they did back in the 70’s before this generation of obese people then I don’t think such a market would have grown so rapidly.

  170. lookingcougarlove February 10, 2010 at 7:54 pm #

    We can see more and more stars and people have a new kind of love with man(woman)!!! have you ever heard about it !!this may be a fashion one !! I have joined a group ——- which is a group for younger man and older woman !! I have make many friends here!! I also find my love here!! he is 7 years older than me ! he is charming and handsome!! I want to say!! when you go to ——- !! age becomes just a number!!!why not to have a try!!

  171. RoadHippie February 10, 2010 at 8:50 am #

    I have to laugh. You say why should the store clerk expect to snag the CEO. LOL.

    Are you talking about men or women? Because if you’re talking about men, you haven’t got a clue.

    A woman will judge a man for being a “store clerk” and look down on him and not consider him because he works a minimum wage job, while men won’t do the same to women. A man will see a woman as sexy wether she works for minimum wage or not. Men will be able to see a woman sexually without judgement on what she does.

    Even in todays society where women are making just as much as men, studies have shown that women STILL want men to earn more then them.

    So don’t get on your high horse and talk about SEEKING your own league. You don’t even mention the fact that men accept women no matter what they do for a living. You, and not the poster you just ridiculed come off as BITTER to me.

    You go on and on about how average guys should stop going after the “hot” girl, but you fail to acknowledge that the average woman today often dismisses the average guy for the “HOT” guy or the “RICH” guy.

    I find it completely disingenuous how you cherry pick “facts” and only zero in on men wanting “HOT” women, and totally ignore the TRUE fact that women are MUCH more guilty of doing this than men.

    Men are MUCH more inclusive of women. Most men find MOST women sexy just for being women. You point to fashion magazines but fail to mention that most of those mags are run by gay men and that the fashion industry feeds off of women competing with OTHER women.

    Men find women sexy just for being women. And men, if you were really honest will look at a much wider range of women as being sexy than women look at men.

    This is not bitterness. This is FACT. You say women are reserved? HA! Women from the time they are teens LOSE their collective minds when talking about “HOT” guys. A man with a handsome face will turn grown women into blathering idiots. We’ve all seen it.

    But heres the thing you COMPLETELY overlook based on your obvious hatred for men. Most men will go ga ga over MOST women. While Most women will only go ga ga over men with handsome faces.

    Men therefore are much more accepting of women than you give them credit for.

    And lastly, stop lumping the average man’s desire for women in with men who are violent towards women. Thats just sick, twisted and wrong. No man I know likes violent porn, or would ever hit a woman for ANY reason.

  172. dis is fucked up January 24, 2010 at 11:41 am #

    you sound like a really good girl. this is to all the women who dont think like this girl right here… i hate to judge people but it is something that happens automatically when i listen to their opinions, and alot of the “beautiful” women posting on here sound nasty. i am a young man from london (only 18) and am still getting to grips with my sexuality and women. ive had a pretty messed up life and was paying my rent by selling drugs from the age of 15 (thankfully i live at home with my mom and brother now) but through the series of experiences that i went through as a youngster i never had any serious girlfriends (had alot of sex) and never built up ANY self esteem of any kind. ive had beautiful girls tell me that im “gorgeous” but iv never believed it to be for real. iv also had slightly less attractive girls tell me im ugly and useless and a waste of space when we’ve split up so i dont actually know what “LEAGUE” im in. anyway waht im trying to get at is what happened to people who ONLY care about what someone has to say for themselves? character? courage? morals? that is what i think is beautiful about a woman. i slept with models when i had NOTHING going for me and i dont think i am a very attractive guy nor do i see it as some huge achievement. but the most gorgeous ones proved that inside they were ugly, that they saw less pretty girls as worth less than them, as if what they had to say was less important even though it may be far more intelligent/deep or inspiring. when/IF i find a woman i want to spend the rest of my life with it will not be because “she has chosen me” out of all the other people who want to fuck her, or because i am in her league, or because she is beautiful (i would have to be able to become aroused by her lol). it will be because i think she is a wonderful person and that if i were stipped down naked an everything i owned reposessed, that she would still love me.
    so beautiful women if you think you are beautiful that sucks. your mind is the only REAL thing that sets you apart from anyone else and i resent the fact that beauty alone can carry someone through life i am not ashamed of that.

  173. Anonymous January 8, 2010 at 10:23 am #

    I am a child of two extremely attractive parents, both the most good-looking in their respective circles, and I grew up feeling unattractive every day of my life. The strange thing is every day my mother, father and family would all treat me as if I was attractive, while all I could see in the mirror was an ugly person who the kids would pick on at school. Now, years later, I am finally starting to really see myself as something other than that ugly duckling and it’s a good feeling. But about men being afraid to approach gorgeous women, it is false. It’s not looks that count mostly in a man, in my opinion. It’s something none of you on this board has yet mentioned: it’s guts. A brave man will get further in my book than a pretty boy with no spine. He can have crooked teeth, a crooked nose, be short or bald or fat… but if he can fight for me and fight for what he believes in and has courage when others flee for their lives, I will seriously get a case of the wobblies around him. ;)

  174. Anonymous January 2, 2010 at 12:33 am #

    i see all these comments from women saying that “average” men should only seek women who are “equal to them”. but how do you define “equal to them”? isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder? i mean, i am not the best looking guy and i tend to avoid women(because not only do they reject guys like me, they chastise us for women trying and i deserve better than that), but if i did actually try to get a woman,i would go for one whom i found attractive. i tend to have a thing for black women and mixed women and i will only go for women around my age(im 21 so i will go for 19-23 year old women).

    now, there are PLENTY of women i find attractive whom i really don’t think are the most attractive by conventional standards. but those women are usually STILL only interested in hotter guys. so what am i supposed to do? am i supposed to only go for morbidly obese women even though i am in shape? am i supposed to go for old grannies even though i am still young?

    it’s funny because whenever women say “date in your league”, they always seem to mean, “if you’re anything less than gorgeous, only date the ugliest women you can find, but any woman who is half way decent looking, should try to date the most gorgeous guys she can find.”

  175. Anonymous December 2, 2009 at 8:54 am #

    i am a senior in hs, and right now i am in english class searching for facts on my research paper which is: how media portrays “the look” and that all women should look a certain way.. tall, skinny… well i came apon this site and reading this touched me a lot!!! i choose this topic because i thought of it as a way to find myself- i myself have low self-esteem, and feel i have to change the way i look to be considered pretty. long story short, thank’s to this quote, slowly but surely i am starting to find myself, and realize i am beautiful because of my heart. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

  176. Anonymous November 30, 2009 at 5:56 pm #

    Beauty is such a subjective topic, it’s about time we draw on a fair conclusion – attraction works on a evolutionary “genetic” level; and it works with how good the genes are. Good genes show in more desirable appearance, and a beautiful girl (though, rare) is actually physically fit – with which she’ll have a guy fit on her level; that’ll be a beautiful guy, if you’d call. Simple as that.

    I also think people come across generally stupid, and therefore make issues out of subjects – beauty, or super fitness being one of them.

    Thank you.

  177. Anonymous November 30, 2009 at 9:21 am #

    Its no, sexy woman cant feel any bad feelings to other, unless there someone who are confuse with that thing. actually when you see a sexy woman you feel good and very exited. you know what im talking about. thanks for sharing this valuable Information about the sexy woman it is very interesting. Keep it up.

  178. MarieCurie1 November 27, 2009 at 8:46 pm #

    :)) How re you ???
    Marie Curie High School

  179. Anonymous November 22, 2009 at 1:13 am #

    umm i am a guy but i don’t neccesarily disagree or agree like can’t a person just be nice all the time like there doesn’t have to be a reason or motive behind everything someone does like i am 16 and i try my best to be a good respectable person around everyone. maybe a guy acts nice around a girl so that she may respect him not because he is way out of her league there’s such thing as being a human being rather than a player or (Pick-up artist) so just let that sink in. Not all men are animals as women supposably think. This just makes me mad how women think they know so much about how we men feel and our motives like we need you guys because without you we feel inadequate or useless you make us feel happy and good about ourselfves you make us whole. How are we supposed to talk to you girls if you think everything that comes out of our mouths is ment to bang you like grow up like if i see an attractive girl i would gladly go up to her sit beside her just cause i am interested and want to know more about her and what to expect so i would then talk to her and try to get to know her maybe make her laugh quite a bit because that makes things easier and she opens up more all a guy want is for a girl to listen to him and actually care about what he’s got to say (well thats what i want) but at the same time keep the conversation going.

    why you should think a guy would only be nice cause you think he’s outta his league is F*cking dumb and cold

    and if he says he doesn’t like you he won’t talk to you simple as that.

  180. Anonymous November 21, 2009 at 9:51 am #

    Look, we all get that men and women are attracted to different things. We all get that men are attracted to in-your-face sexuality and hip-to-waist ratios and long hair..etc etc etc. We all know this, this is nothing new. And it’s not wrong. HOWEVER. What is wrong is the extreme’s that magazines like Maxim take to bring very in-your-face sex/shock appeal that make “men” fall prey to the fantasy and buy their magazines. What is wrong is the expectations that develop in people over years of fake photoshopped media exposure that now become the standard that average Joes sitting on their couches, scratching themselves on Sunday afternoon watching football think they deserve because some very highly paid executives tell them they do just to sell their product. People are stupid if they don’t believe that the media doesn’t influnce their opinions to certain extents. Some of the advice given in this blog give a clear picture of the completely unrealistic standards that we as a culture have developed. And why people are less happy in their relationships then they might have been years ago with less media exposure and a media industry telling us to never “settle” or stay with one thing (or person) for too long because we all deserve better. We all deserve the fantasy right? We all deserve to have the world on a silver platter because you are “you” and I am “me”, right? Wrong! But we don’t value certain things like we should. We don’t value the woman at home raising three kids and might have put on some pounds but lovingly irons her husbands shirts for works, makes lunches and goes to PTA meetings. We don’t hear men praise their wives for their hard work. Instead, we hear guys that ask why their very hard working wives can’t look like the girls in the magazines that look lke that for one second in time after a million pictures have been taken to get just the right pose, 10 styliest have worked on her and photoshop experts have redined her in pictures. We don’t hear about women praising their man for going to work everyday and coming hom to her and bringing enough money to buy the kids andher nice things. We hear about how hot Brad Pitt is. We don’t value each other. We value something that has no value at all. Pictures in magazines or on screen that create a fantasy. A fantasy that I think too many people rather live in because it’s easier, and rather numb themselves with, then deal with the imperfections of real people, just like them, just like us.

    It’s not human sexuality that is at fault here. It’s not that men like certain size breast or weight. That’s normal. It’s the extreme ideals we have today about weight and breast size that is wrong. It’s the idea that women actually need breast implants to be considered more of a woman or need to crash diet because god forbid we have some tummy on us even though women are made to be more naturally fatty.

    It’s the fact that we live in a world that’s all about the fantasy. And that average men today think they deserve twin 18 year olds because they’ve filled up their lives with so much porn and fake imagery instead of respecting the people and honoring the women and being *THANKFUL* and *GRATEFUL* to have the people we do in our life.

    Magazines and other media like Maxim aren’t just about human sexuality. They are about human physcology, the good the bad and the ugly. Technology: the good , bad and the ugly. And sexuality. Media plays are on our highest emotions. And that is why we buy into what it’s selling. Even if it’s at the cost of the real things that would make us really happy. Not the things that only make us happy for 5 minutes before needing something else to come along and entertain ourselves with.

    Heck, I would love to be goregous. Men love goregeous women. Men treat women they think are worthy of them, much nicer. But I am not goregous. I’m just me. And no matter how hard I work out, the nice clothes I wear, or how sweet I am. Women like the girls in Maxim will always turn a man’s head before I will. You can call me bitter or you can just admit that I am human. And a woman who desperetly wants a man to find her beautiful enough to love, cherish and think is sexy. Beyond what some fake girl in a magazine is. That doesn’t make me bitter to have those kind of feelings. But we live in a world where everywhere I turn, there is another much hotter girl and another man, mine or amother woman’s, who is eager to drool after her and lust after her and remind you that you can never be what men really want. Which is some fake fantasy image of interchangable women that never stop. Media doesn’t make money because it satisfies. It makes money because it keeps peopel coming back for more. I personally rather be with a many that can be happy with himself and me. And think I am the most beautiful sexy woman. Even if I am not. I think I deserve that from one man in theis world full of billions. That’s all I am asking for. Just one. Not millions of men like the girl on Maxim is. Just one.

  181. Vinyl Banners November 12, 2009 at 1:07 pm #

    I have to agree that beauty comes from within.
    Vinyl Banners

  182. Anonymous November 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm #

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii where do you live

  183. Anonymous November 6, 2009 at 4:36 am #

    I m too hot boy. i only wants girls for fucking

  184. ChrisKey November 2, 2009 at 4:01 pm #

    If a beautiful woman just shows common courtesy to a man, he often takes it as a sign that she wants him. Do us a favor and actually think about how attractive you are and if a beautiful woman would find you attractive before you embarrass yourself making unwelcome overtures.

    This completely negates the value of personality, desirability, attractiveness… women aren’t quite as look driven as men are (well, some aren’t :)

  185. Anonymous November 2, 2009 at 4:54 pm #

    Has anyone ever heard the saying, “beauty is a tool to weed out the weak?” when approaching a girl?

    And, my goodness, I completely disagree with this comment : Although these are true, a crucial social implication is backfiring. Male magazines diminish the role of women in the society.

    That’s absurd.

    Consequently, women are virtually seen as whores or pleasure-givers to the readers.

    Again, absurd. Many of the women I know enjoy being seen as a pleasure-giver, but to equate that with being a whore in the same sentence is just lunacy, in my opinion. A bit of an overreaction.

    If this kind of negative publicity to women continues, it would not be surprising that we will go back to the age where female are seen as inferior compared to its male counterpart.

    I completely disagree with this also, where are you coming from?

    Just my two cents.

  186. Anonymous November 1, 2009 at 1:17 pm #

    Many people rationalize male magazines as a form of entertainment and a source of information. Although these are true, a crucial social implication is backfiring. Male magazines diminish the role of women in the society. Although women are gaining power in all aspects of life, other aspects especially in print media are still under fire. Women commercialization is very eminent to magazines targeting male consumers. Its purpose is to lure a prospective buyer by putting sexy women in their front cover, thus, these women or sexy models act as a boost to a magazine’s over-all packaging.
    Consequently, women are virtually seen as whores or pleasure-givers to the readers. This kind of art propagates erotic attitude towards women in general. Since media has a vast influence over the society, the effect is very damaging. If this kind of negative publicity to women continues, it would not be surprising that we will go back to the age where female are seen as inferior compared to its male counterpart.

  187. Anonymous October 16, 2009 at 7:41 am #

    “Everyone knows that the way women are portrayed in our culture – sexy, skinny, tall – makes the average woman feel” , that’s what you said, dear the chicks in the photo are hardly tall or skinny. Wake up. Here’s a tip. Most guys like women that are “willing and happy” to give them the pleasure of looking at their naked body, in and out of sexy coverings. Yes, the mind and heart are important, but when the heat gets going guys lead with their eyes. Here’s the simple plan: stay fit and in shape and be comfortable with the body you’ve got. Share your body with him; parade it, cover it, undercover it and if it’s uncomfortable for you to do this just get over it. Life will be much more simple and happier.

  188. Anonymous October 6, 2009 at 4:56 pm #

    I agree with the comment above in part. Lets face it, we are all turned on initially buy looks fancy car, clothes, attitude, etc… Same in the animal world. Men and woman are both first attracted at the most primal level. As the relationshp developes or erodes, we need more to develop and build a lasting relationship.

  189. Anonymous October 1, 2009 at 7:35 pm #

    I know no ugly/average guy with your so-called granted ‘great body’ whatsoever – even a good body, for that matter. They may try, but only come so close.
    … A great body is one known as mesomorph, and it’s the rarest body type amongst men, and women. That’s having naturally well-toned muscles, which project the ‘image’ for a powerful body, which everyone perceives as beautiful, or desirable – indication of great genetics, on the pursuit for something higher. You might not be this kind, so it won’t come apparent to you, as it is awfully rare to be one.
    Besides, what else I realize is there really is no big deal in attraction. Some of us want dominance to feel our pride, some of us have voids which we associate with attraction, however it’s pretty obvious where things go, and it’s more-so that people understand the power with people that are beautiful – men, and women. All-in-all, we are attracted to the opposite gender similar to ourselves in appearance. We don’t know people enough to draw on negating conclusions, and it really seems we make a big deal about attraction to deal with our own insecurities.
    … Then again, once you start the ‘kill’, and consider yourself fortunate to have this sexual power, what next?

  190. Anonymous September 24, 2009 at 1:14 pm #

    i just wish we would all recognize that the most attractive feature of a woman (and a man too) is her (his) heart!

    A person with a warm, loving and sincere heart is always more attractive and that beauty can’t be duplicated by any amount of makeup or silicon.

  191. Anonymous September 17, 2009 at 4:05 pm #

    the average guy can indeed get the beautiful woman if he is confident and secure with himself.

    why should she settle for less? in her mind, she’s not. only you would think that because your a superficial snob.

    nuff said.

  192. Anonymous September 17, 2009 at 3:28 am #

    I don’t agree with the article because I have much less attractive men asking me out all the time. I don’t mind that they are less attractive. What I do mind is that they are usually hyper critical of women’s looks. For some reason less than average looking men are really mean about women’s looks and I find that ugly. They think women are supposed to be beauftiful like it is something you obtain if you work hard enough at it. Also the beautiful woman should be smart, able to cook, do their laundry, laugh and be pleasant all the time. Give me a good looking man anyday because they don’t have as many hangups.

  193. Anonymous September 16, 2009 at 3:37 am #

    Beautiful Barbara, Read some hard science! Your arguments would be more credible.

  194. Anonymous September 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm #

    I want to start by saying the girl on the left of the ‘Maxim’ Magazine cover is beautiful, and I can’t imagine her even in the mildest to fall for any other guy, but myself or the kind of male in my league (any of which I apparently haven’t come across yet, to the best of my knowledge). Yup, you know it – get an idea; with a great appearance comes the full package of Calibre. And I’m only posting here because of her.

    In all honesty, we should really discuss a topic like this given we’re (at least) around 21 years old, and for folks that are (at least) 21. That is because every thing that happens in the ages less were pretty much folly, solely because we were gaining awareness of ourselves for where we stand with the others. Myself, included.

    … No disrespect to anybody, but I don’t find a lot of women that are called ‘beautiful’ beautiful. Pretty works, but not beautiful. *That* girl on the left *is* pretty much beautiful, but the one on the right looks like a dumb bimbo with a less body – even though many of us call her beautiful, too. It’s in the eyes, and the eyes really hold someone’s calibre – that is linked with the rest of the body, because the better the body, over time the ‘knowledge’ is in the eyes. Whether you like to accept it, or not, in ‘real’ cases, people put themselves first, and the rule will always go in that the good looking girl will fall for the good looking guy, and anyone ‘less’ will fall for someone in their league. I am yet to come across a girl, or guy who is with a partner out of their attractiveness. You also ought to note that a lot of girls wear make-up, and a lot of guys go to the gym – those can greatly affect one’s attractiveness to a degree, but hardly sufficient self-confidence. I’ve seen it.

    People also like to get a rise out of others for unknown reasons. So what appears to be flirtatious behavior may be something else. Some people are actually really ‘living’ life, and wouldn’t mind messing with people – making it come out as attraction, or anything. Beautiful people DO hold an advantage with their way through life in that their beauty grants them ‘perks’ with people that they consider ‘less’, and they themselves really want to make something out of their lives just like everybody else. I (myself) worked hard, and well through pre-school, school, high school and university. Nowadays, I’m passing time, afford to be lazy (now) and holding up my pedestal because (apparently) I am that ideal man with ‘the’ life. I get to choose any girl I please when I am to get married in around year or 2, and the best way to avoid attention from ‘any’ girl is to stay in hiding, although I am sure the one I’ll be with is ‘that’ beautiful desirable girl because little worked with the dozen in my past, and effectively, where I couldn’t pay much interest with them, the frustration of even falling for ‘less’ girls is what I would never repeat. I made it up by changing MY ways, permanently, altogether.

    So basically, given my own ways around the ‘charade’, I would consider the same mindset for any girl, too, particularly the beautiful one. What beautiful girl would even risk being stagnant for some average guy, any way?

    You also got to note that beauty on a beautiful girl (or, person) is NO coincidence – it’s normally a sign of a lot of potential, and a good future.

  195. Anonymous September 4, 2009 at 11:44 pm #

    true. but please leave the makeup on lol, i love dark eye shadow

  196. Anonymous September 4, 2009 at 11:38 pm #

    I see the difference between a most good looking women and none good looking women as one putting more effort most the time into there looks since they want that dream guy that does the same. This may only be select few >.>

  197. Anonymous September 4, 2009 at 11:16 pm #

    I once met a really hot girl that was called a bitch by everyone. Though she never was mean to me. An I really did think she was sexy. To shy to talk to her. But I think she did pick me and treated me differently. As i think on this.. some other women did to O.o

  198. Anonymous September 4, 2009 at 10:38 pm #

    I think i am a good looking guy with a strong face. Im currently 19 years old and plan to go into business when I get older (I want to wear some suits) =p. I can say that I still get very nervous when I am with a women that’s sexy. It is more of just getting use to sexy women that affects how nervous I am. Though if its someone that just walks by me.. I could careless since its just someone that doesn’t matter (still sneak a peek – I am a man lol). I wouldn’t stress to much over looks unless I put the women on a pillar as I usually do and just want her (yes i obsesses over women till i cant talk to them, thinking about how they look – even if i never talked to her)(yes its like the mind of a stocker… though I would truly never). I seem to like women that have a really strong face, big bust (could live without them though, maybe not -big boob fetish lol), and not over weight but… its hard to describe.. like im ok with a women that has some weight, long as it isn’t messing with her figure. I do find women that have a thicker body more attractive then toothpicks.. like a little tummy is good lol. I am more of a idealist though, if you showed me a powerful man I would get a strong sense of desire and passion to be like him. I wouldn’t say it makes me feel bad, but sets a goal.

  199. Anonymous September 3, 2009 at 5:49 am #

    Nudity or Sex is something that is common and is spoken about specially wen it comes to even famous people, but it is very sorry to see very young children show interest in sex, my son was caught surfing a Gold Coast Escorts site and he was severely punished but today the world is moving so quickly

  200. Anonymous September 3, 2009 at 9:03 am #

    Gotta wonder why so many women go through the pain, expense, high-maintenance commitment and risk of getting breast implants. Even women who are perfectly normal in shape and proportion already. I wonder how many men would risk losing sensation in their penis in order to make it bigger.

  201. Anonymous August 31, 2009 at 5:28 pm #

    There are a lot of women that are happy with themselves even when guys say otherwise. So I feel it doesn’t psychologically, on the other hand they could be just hiding it because they tend to give that girl trouble. By the way I tend to like girl that actually listen to my research cause I find it unfair that I listen to them and they ignore me when I talk about my research. I’m your average lookin guy by the way. But the look thing is true cause those girls big butts be like budaaddata shibidaboom. And I turn 18 last july. My bad. A brother just like a big butt na mean, no matter how much he is into mechanics, medicinal research, and computer programming.

  202. Anonymous August 22, 2009 at 9:02 am #

    “skinniness isn’t usually considered ‘the’ most attractive part of a woman.”

    Oh yeah? What planet are you on?

  203. Anonymous August 6, 2009 at 5:34 pm #

    I don’t know, I meant what if you are Jordan. Seeing yourself on a mag might make you happy :) Jane

  204. Anonymous August 10, 2009 at 10:02 pm #

    I don’t think that is what the person you’re replying to was trying to say. I think they were trying to say that guys may get tired of a brainless bimbo, and go looking for a woman who has some brains and personality as well. Not to say that this is the majority pattern.

  205. Anonymous August 10, 2009 at 9:49 pm #

    Re. your first paragraph; it has been observed in looking at history that more attractive people tend to marry more attractive people, all the more so if you account for changes in the ideals of beauty. So you’re right, if excessively rhetorical in your language.

    Re, your second; although it is true that (most of the time) nobody can make you feel depressed if you are determined to be happy, it is nevertheless common to be unhappy because someone else has something you want. In most cases, it is a sign of what I would characterize as shallow self-awareness. It is very common. In some circumstances, on the other hand, it may even be logical; for instance, beauty is generally speaking a sign of health, and a healthy mate is a very good thing to have.

    Note, however, that I am NOT saying that one should blame their depression, low self-esteem, etc. on someone else. To do so is to make it more difficult to overcome your personal problems. I have dealt with clinical depression. I know what I’m saying.

    Re. your third; if you’re right (and I’ll assume you are), good for you. And for him.

  206. Anonymous August 11, 2009 at 11:33 am #

    Why does everyone talk about weight when discussing this subject? There are many more things that make people feel physically inadequate other than weight. My butt and legs are terribly scarred from acne but I am an attractive girl. I never wear bathing suits and never go after the guy I really want for fear of rejection and/or pity. Can’t workout… can’t take a pill… can’t have surgery… just gotta deal. How do you deal with this??? How can you feel confident when you feel like a freak show??? Any suggestions???

  207. Anonymous August 6, 2009 at 8:09 am #

    word up…i dont think many people realize that this beauty thing they keep chasing is only temporary. As soon as you think you’ve found the finest thing around, someone finer will come along and make you rethink your whole situation. Beauty can be easily compromised. When the poop hits the fan, a person wants to know if their partner will ride storms out with them or if they’ll bail. A person wants to know that if they become less glamorous, their partner will love them and not leave them for the next peice of eye candy. People who place SOOO MUCH value on having a trophy wife/husband, usually are very clueless and havent been through enough to know whats important because they think that when bills need to be paid and children need to be fed, that good looks are going to help. They wont (not unless she sells herself somehow.)
    I have always been told that I’m attractive and many men would like to be with me, and its nice to feel good when I’m in public, but after having grown up, I will not accept anyone who JUST looks good. I need to know that that person has substance and a kind soul and a brave heart and a LOT of other good things too.

    Interestingly enough, there isnt much room for compromise about the KIND of person i want to spend forever with, but the physical requirements arent nearly as set in stone. I prefer someone my height, but i have dated a little shorter. I’m usually more attracted to men with my caramel complexion, but the man i’m engaged to is very fair skinned. I fell in love with him when he was skinny with short hair, and now he’s about 70 pounds heavier with lots of muscle and braids that reach the middle of his back, which i also love. He can change his appearance weekly if he wants, as long as he doesnt stop making me feel the way he makes me feel. A lot of people girls stare at us when we’re out together, and to be honest it gets on both our nerves a little. I don’t wish he were less attractive, but it would be nicer if SO MANY women didnt have to fall all over themselves.. .all the time. And our intentions arent to get those kinds of reactions out of people. I feel good walking with him not because of how he looks, its the way he holds my hand like the wind is going to blow me away. And feeling like its ok to let my guard down and love him 150% because I trust in him. Those things are priceless, and they wont change with time and they wont change when someone more attractive tries to get at me. I’m still going to feel that way when he’s old and gray and wrinkly and his pipi stops working.

    Now on the other hand, if God forbid our relationship didnt work out, I would look for someone with still many of his same personality traits, because they are more important than what, exactly, he looks like.

  208. Anonymous July 28, 2009 at 4:07 am #

    This is SO true. I SO prefer a man with an handsome face and an ok body over some ugly faced guy who obviously try to get a good body. I guess we women or most anyway look at a man’s face first.As for the rest of the comments you come up as bitter.

  209. Anonymous July 28, 2009 at 1:11 am #

    You complain that attractive women don’t give less-than-desirable man a chance, and yet you want an attractive woman yourself? And then you try to guilt trip those women into giving them a chance by using all the -isms in the book? Projection much? How desperate can you be? I think that’s what really turning off women even more than whatever less than ideal genetic you have.

    If you really believe those things, than you’d give the example by seeking an average woman.But you won’t because your false monologue is insecere.

    Kindly take yourself out of the gene pool you and your Quasimodo-esque perfume Sir. I bid thy good day! Ha!

  210. Anonymous July 28, 2009 at 12:55 am #

    It reeks of hypocrisy and intellectual dishonesty and petitess to complain that someone doesn’t give a chance (as if being someone is about “giving them, as chance” how messed up is that concept anyway?) when you’re not willing to be with someone similar to yourself in the first place. How dishonest are these people?

    If you’re average or unattractive just find yourself of your kind and be happy about it, that’s what your ancerstors did and they probably didn’t complained nearly as much as you do.If you think about it those guys wouldn’t even be here to complain if theyir ancestor didn’t make do with what they could get.

    So instead of holding to up to some extreme standards cooked up based on some extremely idealized view you have of yourself, please take a good solid, realistic look in the mirror for it is a reflection of who you are inside.


  211. Anonymous July 28, 2009 at 12:21 am #

    “If a beautiful woman just shows common courtesy to a man, he often takes it as a sign that she wants him.”

    It’s true unfortunately. Over time I had to cut any type of social interactions with less than handsome men because they would automatically take simple polite conversations as interest.

  212. Anonymous July 28, 2009 at 12:06 am #

    People who think they are inferior to someone else actually ARE inferior, precisely because they think are, ironically enough. Many people don’t have time for people with major insecurities and if you see yourself as less well guess what? Others will be happy to enthusiastically agree with you. It’s basic social interactions. I guess the low self esteem inferiority complexes ridden guy could probably get the really low self esteem girl and this is how they probably mate but not much beyond that.

    You are responsable for your own self esteem people.

  213. Anonymous July 27, 2009 at 6:31 am #

    To the author of the original post that was an interesting read!

    I have to disagree with the title though, people are responsable for their own self esteem and it’s extremely silly to think that some model somewhere who never had any interaction with can be responsable for your insecurities. As you think so you shall be. I agree with the rest though completely! I think guys do indeed feels more and more the weight of not “measuring up” (if they are insecure). I think it’s unfortunate in a way that we choose in part based on physical attraction, I know there are a lot of shorter or physically not attractive (or in the parlance of science: sub optional reproductive specimens) but they are kind hearted and decent human beings.

    Lots of men have lots of expection in part due to the media, in what they expect from a women.Some of them probably feel as if they are not quite up to snuff genetically speaking for the women they secretly wished they have. . Ignoring women on their “level” is not smart though and only cause these dejected men feel more miserable. People do indeed match based on their “level” so to speak of physical desirability it’s evolution. Personally I must admit reluctantly I’ve always been with objectively extremely good looking men, some who even model (not the androgynous effeminate kind though but the type who have classical “rugged” handsome look…hot!)

    Julie,5’8″ Montreal

  214. Anonymous July 27, 2009 at 11:17 pm #

    “Plus, we know the only reason you act so nice is because you know you have no other way of making us interested in you. And the reason you act so mean is because you’re trying to hide that you want us and/or you think you can make us underestimate our own worth.”

    Omg so true! And the saddest thing is they think they are somewhat sutble when they’re pulling the “he’s not interested because he’s unattractive” charcade.Lol I always laugh when I see it. Don’t ever let such sad excuses of people try to get you down girl. WE choose who we want.

  215. Anonymous July 27, 2009 at 11:10 pm #

    “GET realistic. Assess yourself realistically. Look for someone in your league, or go home. Some of us hot girls would like to enjoy our lives with you average boys and your pathetic attempts to force yourself on people that aren’t interested. We are not pieces of meat for you to bang. We are people with brains and hearts and our OWN CHOICES.”

    +1 and qft x10 well said and 100% true :)


  216. Anonymous July 21, 2009 at 5:34 pm #

    Yes, girls do get to choose whom they want. She will drop hints, smile, etc and if the good-looking guy is too dumb to realise what he is being offered, she will move on thinking he is a dufus, anyway and she’ll lose interest. Sometimes though, she will be so attracted to a guy that she will throw herself at him and he will never respond positively as he will enjoy the attention she showers him with, enjoy her stroking his ego and eventually, he will never want the relationship to progress any further.

    The guy will want a girl but he will be so afraid of rejection that he won’t tell her how he feels and life will pass him by. Sometimes, he feels confident in his own skin and throws himself at a girl. She will like him but will mistrust him and think that he flirts this way with everyone and the relationship will never progress as she will never take him serious.

    A guy has just got to learn to read the subtle signals and he will get his girl.

    Really a guy just does not want a girl to throw herself at him; likewise with a girl’s choice.
    I could go on talking about different scenarios but hey, what do I know, anyway?

  217. Anonymous July 27, 2009 at 11:05 pm #

    “Why *shouldn’t* the beautiful women deserve something like herself?”

    Also keep in mind that beautiful women don’t want to be on some pedestral, like the average or less desirable guy is likely to put her on it since he wouldn’t believe his luck (not saying average guys are with beautiful women, just in hypothetic scenario) whereas the handsome good looking guy is more likely to just see her as a person and not some imaginary godess. Good looking people are used to beauty and being attractive so they are less intimidated by it and can develop healthier relationships with other desirable people like themselves. Part of a healthy relationship is equality.


  218. Anonymous July 20, 2009 at 1:23 am #

    Right, so we should ignore racism, classism, and hegemonic patriarchy… that is the solution RIGHT!!!? Give me a break… That is what is causing all of these issues in the first place… It’s ignorance that causes relationship problems in the “modern” world and false need to be “better” then the next man or woman…

  219. Anonymous July 20, 2009 at 1:01 am #

    “At least I’m not – or I wouldn’t date a teacher”
    Would you date a sales clerk or unemployed man with no prospects of moving up because he is viewed as a dirty ignorant minority? Doubt it…

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