In the classic marriage vow, couples promise to stay together in sickness and in health. But a new study finds that the risk of divorce among older married couples rises when the wife—but not the husband—becomes seriously ill.
“Married women diagnosed with a serious health condition may find themselves struggling with the impact of their disease while also experiencing the stress of divorce,” said Amelia Karraker, a researcher at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, who presents her findings May 1 at the annual meeting of the Population Association of America.
Karraker and co-author Kenzie Latham of Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis analyzed 20 years of data on 2,717 marriages from the Health and Retirement Study, conducted by the Institute for Social Research since 1992. At the time of the first interview, at least one of the partners was over the age of 50.
The researchers examined how the onset of four serious physical illnesses—cancer, heart problems, lung disease and stroke—affected marriages.
They found that, overall, 31 percent of marriages ended in divorce over the period studied. The incidence of new chronic illness onset increased over time as well, with more husbands than wives developing serious health problems.
“We found that women are doubly vulnerable to marital dissolution in the face of illness,” Karraker said. “They are more likely to be widowed, and if they are the ones who become ill, they are more likely to get divorced.”
While the study did not assess why divorce is more likely when wives but not husbands become seriously ill, Karraker offers a few possible reasons.
“Gender norms and social expectations about caregiving may make it more difficult for men to provide care to ill spouses,” Karraker said. “And because of the imbalance in marriage markets, especially in older ages, divorced men have more choices among prospective partners than divorced women.
“We did not have information on who initiated divorce in this study. But it’s important to keep in mind that in most cases, it’s women who do so. So it could be that when women become ill and their husbands are not doing a very good job caring for them, they would rather that he just go and they rely on friends and family who will take care of them.”
Given the increasing concern about health care costs for the aging population, Karraker believes policymakers should be aware of the relationship between disease and risk of divorce.
“Offering support services to spousal caregivers may reduce marital strain and prevent divorce at older ages,” she said. “But it’s also important to recognize that the impetus for divorce may be health-related and that sick ex-wives may need additional care and services to prevent worsening health and increased health expenditures.”
Karraker is a National Institute on Aging Postdoctoral Fellow at the ISR Population Studies Center.
I personally agree with the above statistics provided by the blog.Women are more likely to be divorced by their husbands when they become ill.Certain social expectations about women is a contributing factor to the statistics.When the husband becomes ill,the wife is expected to provide holiostics care to the husband.The wife is not expected to divorce the husband.However when the husband is the partner filing for divorce the society sees nothing unusual with that,the society infact sees this as a norm.
I think people should thoroughly think about the decision to get married,and not decide to get married just to meet social standards.They should thoroughly think about the decision and not just the glamour of the wedding day.People shouldn’t rush into marriage,they should think about the implications concerning marriage.
Woman have unique responsibilities in maintenance and well fare of the husband and family. I agree that power struggle due to vulnerability and insecurities lead to divorce, which might also be driven by fear of exposure in inability to carry tasks that a woman used to. A woman feeling emotionally unstable and too depending may feel uncared for when a man can carry those tasks,thefore feel that it is a better to be left alone.
These days marriage doesn’t seem to mean as much as it used to. Many people rush into marriage without thinking about the reality and practicality behind it. A few years down the line, for some even months, divorce is the ultimate decision. There are many conventional reasons for divorce, such as unfaithfulness, in want of a different future and the most common one, falling out of love. To have some sort of illness cause a divorce is definitely a new one to my ears but in some respect makes absolute sense. This study suggests that it is when the woman is ill that the couple get a divorce. Women are generally more caring and loving than men which would make them far better equipped to look after an ill husband, for example, than for the reverse to occur. These results make perfect logical sense as the man would not necessarily be the best carer for the ill woman. These results, on the other hand, are very sad and disheartening as you would think that ‘in sickness and in health’ would mean looking after each other for both the man and the woman. Maybe more research can be done to find out why divorce is more likely to occur when the woman is sick and not the man. Is it because men aren’t as caring as women or maybe the women feel better off with friends and family caring for them rather than their husbands? This poses a very interesting debate!
The society we live in today makes it hard for me to be surprised by this information. Even though we live in the 21st century most of the expectations people have of what a marriage is live is still based on the olden days.
In the olden days men were the providers and women the caregivers. Women cooked, cleaned and looked after the house and everyone in it. The amount of pressure they put on themselves to be all things to all people means they spread themselves so thin that they have absolutely no time to care for themselves. Although in the current era both men and women are the providers most of the care giving still falls on the women. The four serious illnesses all have the potential to lead to death which also implies that an extensive amount of care giving would be required. If a wife’s husband falls sick she would just be continuing in her God given ability to be a caregiver so this would be anything new. However is the roles reversed it would be unknown territory for most, not all, men and sadly when men can’t handle the heat the know how to get out of the kitchen. Divorced men have an easier time finding a new spouse because society has made it acceptable for older men to date younger women, where as an older women with a younger man is frowned upon.
The real problem is the society we live in. men still have more advantages then women. Once these double standards have been removed then and only then will we start to see changes in the divorce rate due to sickness.
Upon reading this article I was rather startled that older married couples would consider divorce as an option in times of sickness. It is no secret that marriages of today are very fickle, with people choosing to get married for various reasons expect the most important: to honour the sacred bond of marriage. However, one would expect couples who have been together for a reasonable amount of time to stand together and support each other.
Women are, due to their maternal-touch, more empathic and are better care-givers and are thus able to give better care to their husbands during times of not only sickness, but hardship as well. Men are not, by natural instinct able to express the sense of empathy that a woman does, but they are able to provide a sense of support. Just like any other factor in marriage is about compromise, similarly this is as well. Both husband and wife must learn to accept each other’s sense of support in such situations. Most importantly, women need to grasp the idea that a man cannot always provide her with the comfort she expects, but that does not necessarily mean she should consider a divorce so that her family and friends can take over her husband’s responsibility. They could all work together and take care of the person.
Divorce in general, but most importantly at this age, should be avoided as the emotional stress that comes along with it is detrimental to both husband and wife, and could lead to other complications such as severe depression.
Upon reading this article I was rather startled that older married couples would consider divorce as an option in times of sickness. It is no secret that marriages of today are very fickle, with people chosing to get married for various reasons expect the most important: to honour the sacred bond of marriage. However, one would expect couples who have been togther for a reasonable amount of time to stand together and support each other.
Women are, due to their maternal-touch, more empahtic and are better care-givers and are thus able to give better care to their husbands during times of not only sickness, but hardship aswell. Men are not, by natural instinct able to express the sense of empathy that a woman does, but they are able to provide a sense of support. Just like any other factor in marriage is about compromise, similarly thisis aswell. Both husband and wife must learn to accpet each other’s sense of support in such situations. Most importantly, women need to grasp the idea that a man connot always provide her what the comfort she expects, but that does not necessarily mean she should consider a divorce so that her family and friends can take over her husband’s responsibilty. They could all work together and take care of the person.
Divorce in general, but most importantly at this age, should be avoided as the emotional stress that comes along with it is deterimental to both husband and wife, and could lead to other complicatiopns such as severe depression.
Dealing with the unexpected, marriage it’s a long life time goal. Based on the vows made on the wedding day marriage it’s a life time and on-going goal. Both partners making all the efforts to make that work but as life it’s full of unexpected. Men and women find themselves in a situation where they have to break those vows, I believe that it’s very difficult for them to reach that point. It’s in women nature to be caretaker but when they failing to do that it become a challenge to them. Men try to adopt that but it’s just that they can’t, it’s something we have within us to be caretakers. Failing to do what we are called to do becomes a challenge that we even start to be insecure and feel intimidated. We all deal with unexpected in different ways but in most cases women always think that they always know what best for their husbands. Based on the studies made women are at risk to have divorce when they are seriously ill and it’s not that it’s a bad thing maybe it can be a good thing in a different way. Dealing with the illness knowing that you not able to give full care to your husband can be very stressful, if I fail to do this maybe he will go find some who can do it for him.
One thing that people should be aware of this days is taking this big step of marriage, I’ve seen many marriages breaking because of many tings such as no being faithful but surprisingly, science has proven something new which is so true. Many couples make unlimited number of vows but they do not keep them. The words “In sickness and in health” are very powerful words which demands great effort and it takes one to actually realise that. It is nice swearing those words in front of everyone but what matters is that at the end of the day you are expected to do what you have swore. It is indeed to first introspect ourselves before make any commitments.
marriage is a lifelong commitment and i believe that people tend to forget that when you get married you practically become one with your partner, this implies that whatever they go through , whether it is joy or pain affects you as well. There are many factors which prove that men and and women view the concept of love very differently and women are believed to be more caring so this could be a contributing factor to why there is a high number of women who get divorced when they fall ill than men. We also need to remember that the feelings one has before the marriage and years into the marriage can differ greatly. Could it be that the vow ‘in sickness and in health’ loses its value with time? that should not be the case or marriage would surely lose its meaning, it is therefore critical for both men and women to make sure that they are ready for that commitment and that they are with a partner they would never leave no matter what situations arise.
Divorce is a harsh reality that negatively affects a lot of people and there are many reasons behind it but to divorce simply because one partner is sick really shows a lack of commitment.
The bond between a couple that has been married for more than 10 years is so strong that in most cases if one of them passes away, the other one becomes so emotionally affected that they tend to withdraw from the public, they tend to lose hope in life because they do not not how to live life as a single individual. This shows that we humans are emotionally fragile.
it is true
There are a few aspects that may tend to woman being the initiators towards the divorce, but at the end I do believe that the men should still stand their ground saying that “He” won’t leave “her”. This is hard to examine as the difference between cultural backgrounds and values. Yet the question is posed as to why does a man leave a woman when she is sick and not the other way around? I do also believe that this will differ from country to country and age to age, as cultural backgrounds and values change.
For most people it is evident that health and physical appearance play a major role in marriage. It is a sad truth because people are not really falling in love with someone for who they are but what they look like. Women in particular tend to actually fall in love for all the right reasons whereas men tend to fall in love with a woman’s physique.
After reading this blog I feel like people, especially males, are never really appeased with what they have. Nothing can actually fill up what’s missing in each persons life. Some people, however, seem to actually be satisfied with what they have but the majority aren’t. Some things in this world such as marriage come close to an individual reaching self actualisation stage but as we see in the blog, when ones partner falls sick, people tend to leave and find another that is more appealing and healthy.
I will have to agree with Amelia Karraker, a woman’s role in a marriage is so vital that it is impossible for another member of the family to just step in and assume the role. A woman is the caregiver, compromiser, strength. diplomat, representative, negotiator and basically the life of the marriage. When this role is removed, the remaining spouse finds himself not able to cope as he is outside his comfort zone and divorce is then the easiest option. Men in general cannot negate stressful situations. In a world that still believes In ” until death do us part ” , one can sincerely hope that the research statistics were based on exceptions rather than the norm
The fact that illness places a heavy weight on marriages is inevitable, but to read that the risk of divorcing increases when the wife falls ill and not the husband, was quite surprising at first.
The more I thought about it though the clearer it became. I agree with the author when he say that in illness, woman would rather have their friends and family take care of them, when their husbands are not doing a very good job at it. Just to stand up for the men; maybe the fact that they find it difficult to care for their ill spouses is not necessarily their fault.
Women are, because of maternal instincts, naturally better caregivers than men are , and this can result in men finding it difficult to provide support to their wives .One can also argue that because men are usually the breadwinners of a family, they do not have the time ( by time I mean money) to take care of the wife and sit by her side in hospital, as illness can already place a financial burden on them. Lastly I will add that men may hold back their emotions because of the stereotypical view that men don’t cry. I saw this happen with my grandmother and grandfather, they had a good and happy marriage, but when my grandmother got cancer, my grandfather didn’t want to visit her in hospital. We never understood why, but I know he cared about her and he was devastated when she passed, I guess he was in shock, or that he didn’t know how to be there for her. This is sad though because in the end he regretted it.
I feel that spouses should do everything in their power to support each other in times of illness, because it is then when they need one another the most, and that those times should be special because it may be the last moments they have together.
.
I for one completely agree with the above statistics and studies carried out. women are and will always be, the ultimate subservient caregivers, supplying all the love and nourishment the marriage needs. Men on the other hand are somewhat the complete opposite and more self-indulgent. The conventional man perceives that it is the woman’s duty to care for him, but sadly cannot return the favour. of course no spouse would want to be saddled with the duties of providing daily nurse care to their loved one. After all if they are married it must have been out of love and love, comes at no price- divorce should not be an option. Surely there are some roses among all those thorns…
It is true that women in marriages that encounter serious illnesses r subjected to being divorced because malez are not emotionally strong enough to bear the pain of seeing their loved ones suffer tremendous pain while in the other hand women are more emotionally strong enough to bear the pain of seeing their loved ones in pain and can provide care and sustain the love for them which is why women having serious illnesses are subjected to being divorced.
I partly agree with the views mentioned in the above article. Usually when couples fall in love, it is their physical characteristics that appeal at the time. As they spend more time together, it becomes more about what is in the inside or rather about the personal attributes that stand out. During that phase of physical health well-being, couples get married.” Till death do us part, in sickness and in health.”Lets say five to ten years down the line, the wife becomes ill, the standard marital structure of the husband as the provider and the wife as the nourisher and care-giver shifts. There is an imbalance within the home and social expectations may not be met. Frustration often becomes the bread and butter of the relationship and this affects the risk of divorce. On the other hand however, illness can bring couples together. Support and unity often result in stronger bonds.It is instinct for a woman to care in the relationship and well typical for the other partner to be selfish.
I was going through the science blog page and I came across this page, a year ago I watched Anne Hathaway’s movie where she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and an extra in the movie who’s wife was also at stage 3 of the disease mentioned to Hathaway’s boyfriend that he should live her both she reaches stage three going to prove that women clearly probably do initiate the divorce due to their spouse not being able to look after them but is it male instinct to withdraw from looking after their wives or they emotionally not strong to see their loved one’s going through a phase in their lives where them as husbands can’t help them with it?
i know you mentioned finance but at tough times if a couple cannot manage together wouldn’t they ask for help somewhere else other then divorcing?