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Planet Earth II

after David Attenborough
 
Planet Earth II is thinner than ever
Planet Earth II contains the following upgrades and bug fixes:
Interfaith dialogue
Patience
Context
Colour-blind police
Infinite non-renewable energy sources
Only your favourite foods
Only your favourite people
Only tolerable music
2016 removed as causing problems for some users
Enhanced type face
Compliments-only setting
As many chances as you need
As many bullets as you need
 
Planet Earth II has had the headphone jack removed
Planet Earth II is now remorse-free
Planet Earth II also comes with:
Sleep mode
Benefit of the doubt
Unlimited hindsight
Free wi-fi
The ability to add or remove children
Loneliness-to-wisdom converter
Compulsory sport
Compulsory art
Compulsory empathy
No first-hand shops
1 complimentary hug at the beginning and end of each day
Peanut Butter now tax-deductible
All


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