It’s no shock that the portrayal of women in magazines makes women feel like dirt. But did you know images of hot chicks make men feel worse, too? Everyone knows that the way women are portrayed in our culture – sexy, skinny, tall – makes the average woman feel a bit like the gum I had to peel off my shoe this morning. When we look at magazine ads or watch TV shows, we women feel inadequate – and it’s no wonder, when the average woman model weighs up to 25% less than the typical woman and maintains a weight at about 15 to 20% below what is considered healthy for her age and height. But the 40,000 or so ads the average American is exposed to a year aren’t just affecting the girls. A new study coming out of the University of Missouri found that men react negatively to unrealistic ads, too. What’s interesting is it wasn’t images of hot men that got the guys feeling self conscious – it was images of hot women.
The research began by trying to see if men were as negatively affected by men’s magazines as women are by Cosmo and the like. Men that were given men’s magazines like Maxim had lower self image, which got the researchers to question exactly what about the magazines cause the drop in self esteem. So they showed men just the pictures of objectified women, men, and the articles and again checked their esteem levels. They found that, surprisingly, it wasn’t the images of idealized men that made the guys feel inadequate – it was the women. Even more surprising was that the male fashion group reported the least amount of body self-consciousness among the three groups – the guys couldn’t care less what the other men looked like.
If you’ve ever been in high school, it’s obvious why seeing a hot woman would make a less than ideal looking guy feel bad. I mean, what guy hasn’t choked when trying to talk to the head cheerleader? Attractive women are intimidating, and the mere sight of one is enough to cause any average joe to give themselves a quick once-over.
The theory is that a beautiful women makes a man self conscious because the he’s reminded that he’s not in her league – that is, they take one look at a hot girl and quickly realize there’s no way they’re good-looking enough to bang her. Since women have the larger investment in offspring, they tend to be considered the ‘picky’ ones, evolutionarily speaking. The men and their billions of sperm have to compete with other guys to convince a girl that they’ve got the genes to be worth it.
To test this theory, the researchers performed one more experiment. They broke the men into two groups – one received magazine layouts of sexually idealized females and the other received the same layouts with average-looking ‘boyfriends’ added to the photos, with captions about how the female models are attracted to the average-looking men. The men who looked at just the model were more self-conscious, presumably because when the other men saw the bombshells liked ‘normal guys,’ they no longer felt she was out of reach.
Personally, I’d like to see if images of hot men have the same effect on women. Despite the evolutionary argument, I think that women would have the same reaction to male models as men do to female ones. After all, you don’t hear a girl say “oh crap! I gotta go fix my hair!” when this guy walks in the room:
I want you. I need you. Oh baby – oh baby. Read more of my stuff over at Observations of a Nerd
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Ms. Lindsey – So glad that you feel better! Now hurry up and get out there and HATE some more men!
Im glad to know the results of this study has it has changed the way i feel about this whole issue. Before i resented objectifyed women in the media and all around because i thought it was a tool the male dominated media used against women. But now im over joyed to know that the male ego is being fractured in the process. Maybe women dont spend all this time on themselves to piss other women off after all.
Its now time to say keep up the adds.
Every time I read an article about the science of attraction and the real nature of men and women I feel closer to suicide.
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a) I love that there’s an ad next to the article for men who want to meet “hot Chinese girls” and
b) I’m sexy. I feel good about that. Get over it.
c) I’m 5ft 4″, at this point I weigh over 150 pounds, my hair does strange things without my consent, and on most week days my uniform will be sneakers, jeans and a hoodie. But I *like* myself.
Sexy is a state of mind.
News to me. Sexy women make me feel great. Maybe I just have a different definition of sexy.
I hate seeing the perfect chicks I’ve had three babies but i definatly don’t have the perfect body I’m not fatty by anymeans but I hate my body for sure how do I get over this crap??????
haloo
In my opinion I agree with the statement that looking to perfect women make both men and women feel worse because it is lile looking to a mirror of a perfection that can´t be never reached.
In my opinion it is tru that looking to perfect women is worse for our self steem because it is like looking to a perfection that anybody can`t reach.
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Some brilliant points made here in these article
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People depending upon there looks or wealth have nothing left when that goes..The ultimate value is love, which is the only thing that lasts, as Shakespeare wrote
Personally, I’d like to see if images of hot men have the same effect on women. I think that women would have the same reaction to male models as men do to female ones
Some brilliant points made here in these posts, yet also I will agree that the original poster has an element of bitterness.
To clarify on the “generalisations” I would like to say this it is all about inner vcalues ultimately, for example whether a person values outer appearance more than inner qualities.
Also some people are high-maintenance and competetive than others (both male and female) (whether “hot” or “not”) and they often do this to give the impression that they are more desirable than they actually are.
The ultimate value is love, which is the only thing that lasts, as Shakespeare wrote
“Beauty is as a flower, it soon withers and dies.”.
People depending upon there looks or wealth have nothing left when that goes.
A person who makes the most of themselves and has the trues inner qualities of love is, I believe, I feel, the most attractive in both the short and the long term. Having love already on the inside also means you don’t “have” to get it from another person, you can give it.
Personally, I’d like to see if images of hot men have the same effect on women. I think that women would have the same reaction to male models as men do to female ones.
i just want to see naked chicks
well theoretically u r right. :-)
Sarkari Naukri
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Of course, the portrayal of attractive men doesn’t make men feel the same way. Studies show that women alone are physiologically capable of suffering.
The reason this is equated to looking like a whore is because that the only thing these women are looked at as providing is sexual pleasure… Anyone can do that… An example of comments seen many times when it comes to these women include things like, “what does her face look like?” and “Who cares?” Obviously this is not a respectable image.
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From my point of view, sex is the most prominent issue in our contemporary lives because most of the American, Canadian people are still understood so that I think we should step back and review some Islamic resources which have been illustrating that for a long time.
I absolutely do agree with some people who are respected the desire of sex, however we can interest doing that by Islamic Constitution.
From my point of view, sex is the most prominent issue in our contemporary lives because most of the American, Canadian people are still misunderstood so that I think we should step back and review some Islamic resources which have been illustrating that for a long time.
I absolutely do agree with some people who are respected the desire of sex, however we can interest doing that by Islamic Constitution.
From my point of view, sexy is the most prominent issue in our contemporary lives because most of the American, Canadian people are still understood so that I think we should step back and review some Islamic resources which have been illustrating that for a long time.
I absolutely do agree with some people who are respected the desire of sex, however we can interest doing that by Islamic Constitution.
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Generally beautiful women make me feel pretty damn good. You can find a few over at virtualCupid.net
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What this so called ‘study’ doesn’t take into account is that for over the past 25 years. The media has been pushing into the minds of boys and men that Men and their bodies are ugly and inferior to women’s. The general consensus is that men are ugly and women are beautiful. Women are cury and nice and men are stocky and unrefined. Boys are preached this everyday in school, the media and in education. Why would a man feel good about himself in anything in this country? He is constantly reminded of being a failure and unappreciated on every level.
Nobody cares about the feelings of men and boys. That is why things are as they are and they are going to get a whole lot worse. Many women have it in their minds that men can be disposed of and somehow it will become a “woman’s” world. Indeed I would like to see this. Truely it would be interesting to see how humanity will deal with billions of disenfranchised, marginalized, unemployed, uneducated angry young men. If that is not a declaration to begin WW3 then I don’t know what to say. Nothing in the world is more frightning than an angry young man. But in this era, testosterone and male strength is seen as inferior and pointless too. The world will not truly change until boys and men are tended to as they should be. Women have been made into God in the usa/west. Thus as with any false God, they will lead humanity astray and to the edge of destruction. Women are the opposite of life and no man should worship them as anyhting other than what they are. But time has a way of balancing things.
Howard,
You’re right that we live in a society that doesn’t appreciate the very human need men have to discuss feelings. We’ve been taught from a young age to repress and repress some more. And instead of men changing this, we become our own worst enemy by demanding all the stereotypes be realized in how we interact with other men. Unfortunately, women demand these stereotypes, too. What’s worse, we can now add images of the bumbling, not-too-bright male in addition to the uncommunicative and violent icons that still abound. For example, it is understandable how the “girls are smart, boys are, well, boys” insult gained traction after the eons of women being intellectually repressed and not having parity. However, it’s gone too far in the media and is starting to smack of retribution, not to mention all of the damage it’s doing to a future generation of men.
The answer isn’t violence, or a gender war on the part of men, but to end as many of the stereotypes as we can. Be an advocate for this, Howard. Make known to as many people as you can that men aren’t on earth to be manipulated for image or gain, but that they are full and complex emotionally as well as intellectually. Also that we’re all in this together: When women suffer, men suffer; when men suffer, so do women. I know, you may well be misunderstood, but you might get enough people thinking to change matters. I mean it, be that advocate and you’ll walk through life more enlightened than most.
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No, I understand this article. I am more intimidated by hot chicks than hot guys – and I’m a girl. I find it easier to talk to hot guys because they tend to be less b*****.
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I think guys should wear dresses in the magazines and girls should wear boxers, that way no one gets hurt!!!!!!! No one feels intimidated atleast thats my experience. I know this b/c i have been with many guys and girls. Experience=Muntastic
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omg… soo true… just look at all the men in commercials, perfect body, clean shave, tall and handsome… such a disgrace!! everyone should be FAT and UGLY, that way no one will get hurt and offended!
its the nature of the world, everyone is different, and if looks are not the strongest of one’s trades, maybe one can invest in beautiful brains, or character, charisma… there is soo much more to women than just looks…
people should stride for perfection, as in physical, so in mental and emotional. if I want to impress somebody, as well as feel good myself, I shall make my best to look the best.
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heck I don’t feel bad when around a sexy woman. I know what i can offer that girl and she would be a fool not to accept it now matter how sexy she is. Actually I do prefer sexy woman over the regular plain ones anytime.
-Scat Man
Thats why in our religion order us to overlook strange woman because if you didn’t look to her you will be pleased and your feeling is pure even jessus said in bible if you look to woman in appetite thats mean you had sex with her so try to take just normal information about islam and wonder why muslims are increasing every year
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Wowo nice to share. It made me laugh too. Sarkari Naukri
Really, we need to get past “sexy” being on the outside. True beauty and passion are inward, and they come from being at peace with yourself. Yes, work on your self esteem in whatever way gets results. http://www.naturalrhythms.org .
i feel now sex is most importent in our life.
That is a ridiculous comment
You say this because u r not rejected..and u have a lot of options to choose from.
thats her opinion. and many people do treat sex as a priority.
Sad to say, Tidsdale here suffers from gathering excessive engrams from others because of her promiscuity. We should all fell very bad about her and her troubles as a result of her excessive swinging lifestyle.
I agree with this post, sexy women on magazines is just be used to promo somethings and they can do anything to get money.
It seems that many of you have strange ideas of attraction, possibly a result of your movie watching and MTV. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that happiness is not dependent on finding a mate.
People need to be more realistic. Admit to yourself that you are not the most attractive female or male on the Earth. Stop evaluating yourself in relation to other members of the same sex. Your entire conception of self-esteem is holding back your happiness. Your goal should be zero self-esteem–eliminating the emotional roller coaster that accompanies negative AND positive evaluations of one’s self.
Women, if you go to clubs and get drunk and grind on random males, please don’t complain about the hedonistic males you’re attracting. Your behavior is causing your own complaints. Pleasure is not happiness. Sex is not happiness. So don’t complain that you can’t find a decent guy if you slather on the makeup, don’t know how to read, can’t appreciate subtlety, and look at the pictures in Cosmo. In fact, women that wear makeup are deceiving males by saying “my genes are better than they actually are.” Also, when women are ovulating, their skin is naturally more red; the point of blush is to unconsciously trick men into thinking that women are ovulating.
Men, the same message concerning self-esteem applies. Stop comparing yourself to the steroid-abusing wrestlers. Realize that you will never have sex with Megan Fox and that women are sometimes fun to talk to. Most importantly, even if it’s very difficult, you don’t need a mate or even sex for happiness. Realize that women bear the majority of the reproductive burden. Can you imagine what it would be like if you had to stuff cotton up your penis every month? It serves women right that they should be picky. They’re looking for a supporter–one that has financial and emotional stability. This is a good thing. Though you may not be able to change your facial structure, you can definitely increase your MATE VALUE by making more money or being more caring!
Maybe I’m an idiot. After all, I’ve had only 2 semi-serious relationships in my life and I’m 23, but it seems most people are so silly.
Well said…I applaud your pluck. This really is a great response.
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well theoretically u r right.. But, bro, even u know how wasted,loser,dickhead,useless trash kinda piece of shit does an average guy feel when he sees a beautiful girl(megan box) going around with a wrestler type/hunk/hott/perfect guy without even caring for average guy.We just feel like stupid freaks born just to be mere trash can.
If I become Hitler I would kill all the ugly guys and girls so that they dont have to die every day and every moment for being ugly.
Thats about how us average ladies feel when average guys won’t give us the time of day because they’re too busy falling all over themselves trying to get a Megan Fox. Then who’s left for us? Oh yeah, the mouth-breathers who are _also_ shooting out of their league. That’s why a lot of us go for the older guys who know what they want and have their priorities straight. You young bucks think with your wangs too much.
Megan Box?? Nice Freudian slip…
guys are pretty simple, if girls will just accept themselves for what they are and flaunt what theyve got guys will love it. Im not exactly model material but i do think im pretty. The only reason i get guys attention is because ive got them all convenced that im the best thing they will ever come their way, whether i am or not that is what they are thinking. if girls are confident and know what they want guys are attracted to it. If you tell a guy you think you arent good enough hes going to think you arent good enough. If you tell a guy you are the best thing ever, hes going to believe you. And if he doesnt, hes not worth your time. Guys like the chase anyway as much as girls like to be chased
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Magazines are in business to SELL COPIES; and as neanderthal as it is, SEX SELLS! Unfortunately, years of visual programming (by reading these pubs) set up unrealistic expectations and the unenlightened (and clueless!) go through life thinking this extreme exterior perfection is the gauge to their own happiness.
So the premise of the article: Does seeing a hot woman hit a man’s insecurity button? Well . . . I think THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT IN THE MATING GAME! There’s a fine line between feeling insecure – and feeling challenged! MEN ARE HUNTERS and a smart woman knows this! Your smile and F-factor (the overall physical package) will draw him in. Your warmth, confidence, smarts and happiness about life in general will keep him there. Alot of women are focused more on the physical aspect and less on being the interesting, sensual, engaging person that real men are looking for! Previous posts indicate, ‘looks are skin deep,’ and to that I say, AGREED! Smart men know this and once attracted, they get by the looks pretty quickly – and want to know more. Smart women know this too — they know their looks ARE their calling card – JUST this. Women come in all shapes and sizes, thank God, because so do men! ‘Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’ . . . and there’s lots of folks, both men and women, doing the beholding! So, be comfortable with who you are and let your confidence show.
The call to WOMEN: Get into your best dating condition, both mentally and physically. If you want the best, you’ve gotta be your best. Get in touch with your softer side, your inner diva; do what makes you happy; take care of yourself – eat well and get in some physical activity everyday; read voraciously and follow your passions so that you’ll be an interesting person. Stop trying so hard to find a man! It makes you look desperate! Remember that what you choose to wear when you go out is advertising. You may be attracting what you don’t want! Be classy-sexy and you’ll attract classy-sexy! Think about what you value in a partner and make that your criteria for evaluating ALL the men who will approach you. If they don’t fit the bill, give them a gentle send-off ’cause you don’t want to waste HIS time – nor YOURS. You create your own happiness – men don’t want to feel this weight anyway. LISTEN to everything a man says upon first meeting – a man will tell you everything you need to know about his intentions if you’d only listen objectively! Be a class act and be kind to other women. Build a positive vibe – you may find a new friend – AND she may introduce you to Mr. Right!
The call to MEN: Ditto on getting into YOUR best dating condition. It’s imperative that you put your best foot forward as there is only one chance for a first impression. Go after women who are your equals mentally. This levels the playing field – you’ll be more comfortable and better equipped to impress her. Approach the woman who smiles back. If your looking to get laid for the night, be prepared for the brush-off. Women can feel a fraud a mile away – and remember, women talk and reputations precede so think about the dynamic you’re setting up for your future. If you’re looking for “quality,” be “quality.” Character, manners, intelligence, integrity and respect go a long way in making a good impression – and in keeping her interested. If you’re NOT looking for quality, you’ll find plenty of interested parties out there too; and that’s ok as long as she’s aware and accepts the agenda – so you both can act responsibly. My gyne, who’s a guy, says “assume that everyone’s infected with some sort of STD today.” He says he sees alot going through his office. BUT, that’s a whole different topic!
I’m sure I have alot more to say, but I’ve already said enough! Happy dating!!!
Barbara
5’5″, 130, entrepreneur, blonde, blue-eyed, fit . . . and beautiful!
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The reason this is equated to looking like a whore is because that the only thing these women are looked at as providing is sexual pleasure… Anyone can do that… An example of comments seen many times when it comes to these women include things like, “what does her face look like?” and “Who cares?” Obviously this is not a respectable image.
So please answer this… Why is it that men want to see women dressed up like tramps/whores, yet a ‘respectable’ woman is publically condemned if there are public images of her in a sexy picture? For example an actress who has posed in a sexy picture for a magazine… Men want the excitement of a sexy tramp, yet they want their partner to be ‘respectable’. Notice the word RESPECTABLE. And what about a woman’s need to be sexually desired by her man? Noone cares about that, we only see comments about what a man desires from many sexy women, slim, large breasts, etc., etc., etc. It seems pretty insensitive to expect women to ‘just understand’ that men want strip bars and to watch other women naked. How is a woman supposed to feel like she’s not being cheated when she wonders while they are having sex when he comes home that night if he is thinking about the stripper he was watching earlier? We always hear about a man’s need for sex. What about a woman’s need to be the only one? Doesn’t anyone care?
If this sort of thing doesn’t make women seem inferior, why is this a very common issue? Why do we use the word, ‘respectable’???
And why is it that there are so many comments about women needing to stay looking good for their man, yet many of the most beautiful women in the world are still cheated on? Rather than providing all the stimuli that cause men to go out and look elsewhere, what would be the difference if social stimuli focused on keeping couples together?
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ref
that made me laugh out loud.
“Beauty is a tool to to weed out the weak” I kinda like that one. It’s more fitting than many would think. Just look at many of the female leaders in your own company. They ain’t ugly women who don’t gave a damn about their looks. Most success women do look good.
What do you mean by average guys? Looks, height, money, personality. What makes a guy average vs. desirable. Can a kind average guy get hot girls? It sounds like from what you are saying that you hate men who are arrogant regardless of where they are in the scale of desirability. Am I correct? Or, are you saying that a so called “highly desirable” guy can be arrogant, unkind, and say what ever he wants and you will still want him. Any one reading your comment, who is was not lucky at birth, in looks, education, or influence, seems doomed to never have what they want. What kind of achievement is birth luck of genetics or money. I would like to believe in a world where if you work hard you can achieve the things you want regardless of what you were born into.
oh look, just remember this: so many “men” are more likely to screw anything that moves, should a sheep feel flattered?
Im not talking about you, ok? but about them. The men that make you feel worthless, are the worthless ones. So, you are safe from them. Are all men like that? No. There are some nice ones, maybe hard to find, but don´t believe romantic comedies, life is tough, and so must be you.
Not bitter. Laugh, dance, dont give a sh*t about them.
This is your only life, and your best revenge is to enjoy it with ot without them.
If you just want sex, that´s easy for any woman.
If it’s love, that’s hard for everyone.
Peace.
oh look, just remember this: so many “men” are more likely to screw anything that moves, should a sheep feel flattered?
Im not talking about you, ok? but about them. The men that make you feel worthless, are the worthless ones. So, you are safe from them. Are all men like that? No. There are some nice ones, maybe hard to find, but don´t believe romantic comedies, life is tough, and so must be you.
Not bitter. Laugh, dance, dont give a sh*t about them.
This is your only life, and your best revenge is to enjoy it with ot without them.
If you just want sex, that´s easy for any woman.
If it’s love, that’s hard for everyone.
Peace.
I wish I could meet you. What you say is so sensitively spoken and reassuring. I could love someone like you
I couldn’t agree more. However there are many percpectives to see this from. You believe because you are not gorgeous that you don’t turn a mans head. I’m hear to tell you that society has become so numb to the natural relationship between men and woman that it doesn’t matter what you look like. I am tall, gorgeous with exactly the right hip/waist ratio. I may turn heads but that is about it. Men don’t approach me or speak to me ever and I have the biggest heart of all my girlfriends. Most of the girls I know are catty and compete nonstop with each other. Just like you I feel that I am just me. I want one man to love and desire me for inner and outer beauty. The outer beauty will fade no matter how many times a week I go to the gym.
I look at all the average people and feel jealous because I think they are the ones who have it so much easier. A man feels so much more comfortable with average women. Average men are terrifid of me and on the flip side all the hot men who chase me are into games and they are soooo stuck on themselves that it doesn’t matter how beautiful I am, because the next beautiful woman is going to turn their head too.
I do believe it is important for both men and women to take care of themselves for health reasons and I am not attracted to unhealthy men. It just doesn’t fit in my lifestyle. Whenever I am around one and they are eating nasty I just want to encourage them to go to the gym and get frustrated when they reject the idea over and over again.
One more point. I do agree with the media creating an unrealistic image however I believe it is very important to acknowledge the fact that americans are more obese than ever and I believe that plays an important role too. If women all looked like they did back in the 70’s before this generation of obese people then I don’t think such a market would have grown so rapidly.
We can see more and more stars and people have a new kind of love with man(woman)!!! have you ever heard about it !!this may be a fashion one !! I have joined a group —http://www.cougarconnecting.com/—- which is a group for younger man and older woman !! I have make many friends here!! I also find my love here!! he is 7 years older than me ! he is charming and handsome!! I want to say!! when you go to —http://www.cougarconnecting.com/—- !! age becomes just a number!!!why not to have a try!!
i am a senior in hs, and right now i am in english class searching for facts on my research paper which is: how media portrays “the look” and that all women should look a certain way.. tall, skinny… well i came apon this site and reading this touched me a lot!!! i choose this topic because i thought of it as a way to find myself- i myself have low self-esteem, and feel i have to change the way i look to be considered pretty. long story short, thank’s to this quote, slowly but surely i am starting to find myself, and realize i am beautiful because of my heart. THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Beauty is such a subjective topic, it’s about time we draw on a fair conclusion – attraction works on a evolutionary “genetic” level; and it works with how good the genes are. Good genes show in more desirable appearance, and a beautiful girl (though, rare) is actually physically fit – with which she’ll have a guy fit on her level; that’ll be a beautiful guy, if you’d call. Simple as that.
I also think people come across generally stupid, and therefore make issues out of subjects – beauty, or super fitness being one of them.
Thank you.
Its no, sexy woman cant feel any bad feelings to other, unless there someone who are confuse with that thing. actually when you see a sexy woman you feel good and very exited. you know what im talking about. thanks for sharing this valuable Information about the sexy woman it is very interesting. Keep it up.
:)) How re you ???
Marie Curie High School
umm i am a guy but i don’t neccesarily disagree or agree like can’t a person just be nice all the time like there doesn’t have to be a reason or motive behind everything someone does like i am 16 and i try my best to be a good respectable person around everyone. maybe a guy acts nice around a girl so that she may respect him not because he is way out of her league there’s such thing as being a human being rather than a player or (Pick-up artist) so just let that sink in. Not all men are animals as women supposably think. This just makes me mad how women think they know so much about how we men feel and our motives like we need you guys because without you we feel inadequate or useless you make us feel happy and good about ourselfves you make us whole. How are we supposed to talk to you girls if you think everything that comes out of our mouths is ment to bang you like grow up like if i see an attractive girl i would gladly go up to her sit beside her just cause i am interested and want to know more about her and what to expect so i would then talk to her and try to get to know her maybe make her laugh quite a bit because that makes things easier and she opens up more all a guy want is for a girl to listen to him and actually care about what he’s got to say (well thats what i want) but at the same time keep the conversation going.
why you should think a guy would only be nice cause you think he’s outta his league is F*cking dumb and cold
and if he says he doesn’t like you he won’t talk to you simple as that.
Look, we all get that men and women are attracted to different things. We all get that men are attracted to in-your-face sexuality and hip-to-waist ratios and long hair..etc etc etc. We all know this, this is nothing new. And it’s not wrong. HOWEVER. What is wrong is the extreme’s that magazines like Maxim take to bring very in-your-face sex/shock appeal that make “men” fall prey to the fantasy and buy their magazines. What is wrong is the expectations that develop in people over years of fake photoshopped media exposure that now become the standard that average Joes sitting on their couches, scratching themselves on Sunday afternoon watching football think they deserve because some very highly paid executives tell them they do just to sell their product. People are stupid if they don’t believe that the media doesn’t influnce their opinions to certain extents. Some of the advice given in this blog give a clear picture of the completely unrealistic standards that we as a culture have developed. And why people are less happy in their relationships then they might have been years ago with less media exposure and a media industry telling us to never “settle” or stay with one thing (or person) for too long because we all deserve better. We all deserve the fantasy right? We all deserve to have the world on a silver platter because you are “you” and I am “me”, right? Wrong! But we don’t value certain things like we should. We don’t value the woman at home raising three kids and might have put on some pounds but lovingly irons her husbands shirts for works, makes lunches and goes to PTA meetings. We don’t hear men praise their wives for their hard work. Instead, we hear guys that ask why their very hard working wives can’t look like the girls in the magazines that look lke that for one second in time after a million pictures have been taken to get just the right pose, 10 styliest have worked on her and photoshop experts have redined her in pictures. We don’t hear about women praising their man for going to work everyday and coming hom to her and bringing enough money to buy the kids andher nice things. We hear about how hot Brad Pitt is. We don’t value each other. We value something that has no value at all. Pictures in magazines or on screen that create a fantasy. A fantasy that I think too many people rather live in because it’s easier, and rather numb themselves with, then deal with the imperfections of real people, just like them, just like us.
It’s not human sexuality that is at fault here. It’s not that men like certain size breast or weight. That’s normal. It’s the extreme ideals we have today about weight and breast size that is wrong. It’s the idea that women actually need breast implants to be considered more of a woman or need to crash diet because god forbid we have some tummy on us even though women are made to be more naturally fatty.
It’s the fact that we live in a world that’s all about the fantasy. And that average men today think they deserve twin 18 year olds because they’ve filled up their lives with so much porn and fake imagery instead of respecting the people and honoring the women and being *THANKFUL* and *GRATEFUL* to have the people we do in our life.
Magazines and other media like Maxim aren’t just about human sexuality. They are about human physcology, the good the bad and the ugly. Technology: the good , bad and the ugly. And sexuality. Media plays are on our highest emotions. And that is why we buy into what it’s selling. Even if it’s at the cost of the real things that would make us really happy. Not the things that only make us happy for 5 minutes before needing something else to come along and entertain ourselves with.
Heck, I would love to be goregous. Men love goregeous women. Men treat women they think are worthy of them, much nicer. But I am not goregous. I’m just me. And no matter how hard I work out, the nice clothes I wear, or how sweet I am. Women like the girls in Maxim will always turn a man’s head before I will. You can call me bitter or you can just admit that I am human. And a woman who desperetly wants a man to find her beautiful enough to love, cherish and think is sexy. Beyond what some fake girl in a magazine is. That doesn’t make me bitter to have those kind of feelings. But we live in a world where everywhere I turn, there is another much hotter girl and another man, mine or amother woman’s, who is eager to drool after her and lust after her and remind you that you can never be what men really want. Which is some fake fantasy image of interchangable women that never stop. Media doesn’t make money because it satisfies. It makes money because it keeps peopel coming back for more. I personally rather be with a many that can be happy with himself and me. And think I am the most beautiful sexy woman. Even if I am not. I think I deserve that from one man in theis world full of billions. That’s all I am asking for. Just one. Not millions of men like the girl on Maxim is. Just one.
I have to agree that beauty comes from within.
Vinyl Banners
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii where do you live
If a beautiful woman just shows common courtesy to a man, he often takes it as a sign that she wants him. Do us a favor and actually think about how attractive you are and if a beautiful woman would find you attractive before you embarrass yourself making unwelcome overtures.
This completely negates the value of personality, desirability, attractiveness… women aren’t quite as look driven as men are (well, some aren’t :)
Has anyone ever heard the saying, “beauty is a tool to weed out the weak?” when approaching a girl?
And, my goodness, I completely disagree with this comment : Although these are true, a crucial social implication is backfiring. Male magazines diminish the role of women in the society.
That’s absurd.
Consequently, women are virtually seen as whores or pleasure-givers to the readers.
Again, absurd. Many of the women I know enjoy being seen as a pleasure-giver, but to equate that with being a whore in the same sentence is just lunacy, in my opinion. A bit of an overreaction.
If this kind of negative publicity to women continues, it would not be surprising that we will go back to the age where female are seen as inferior compared to its male counterpart.
I completely disagree with this also, where are you coming from?
Just my two cents.
Many people rationalize male magazines as a form of entertainment and a source of information. Although these are true, a crucial social implication is backfiring. Male magazines diminish the role of women in the society. Although women are gaining power in all aspects of life, other aspects especially in print media are still under fire. Women commercialization is very eminent to magazines targeting male consumers. Its purpose is to lure a prospective buyer by putting sexy women in their front cover, thus, these women or sexy models act as a boost to a magazine’s over-all packaging.
Consequently, women are virtually seen as whores or pleasure-givers to the readers. This kind of art propagates erotic attitude towards women in general. Since media has a vast influence over the society, the effect is very damaging. If this kind of negative publicity to women continues, it would not be surprising that we will go back to the age where female are seen as inferior compared to its male counterpart.
“Everyone knows that the way women are portrayed in our culture – sexy, skinny, tall – makes the average woman feel” , that’s what you said, dear the chicks in the photo are hardly tall or skinny. Wake up. Here’s a tip. Most guys like women that are “willing and happy” to give them the pleasure of looking at their naked body, in and out of sexy coverings. Yes, the mind and heart are important, but when the heat gets going guys lead with their eyes. Here’s the simple plan: stay fit and in shape and be comfortable with the body you’ve got. Share your body with him; parade it, cover it, undercover it and if it’s uncomfortable for you to do this just get over it. Life will be much more simple and happier.
I agree with the comment above in part. Lets face it, we are all turned on initially buy looks fancy car, clothes, attitude, etc… Same in the animal world. Men and woman are both first attracted at the most primal level. As the relationshp developes or erodes, we need more to develop and build a lasting relationship.
http://www.butterfliesandbikinis.com
i just wish we would all recognize that the most attractive feature of a woman (and a man too) is her (his) heart!
A person with a warm, loving and sincere heart is always more attractive and that beauty can’t be duplicated by any amount of makeup or silicon.
the average guy can indeed get the beautiful woman if he is confident and secure with himself.
why should she settle for less? in her mind, she’s not. only you would think that because your a superficial snob.
nuff said.
I don’t agree with the article because I have much less attractive men asking me out all the time. I don’t mind that they are less attractive. What I do mind is that they are usually hyper critical of women’s looks. For some reason less than average looking men are really mean about women’s looks and I find that ugly. They think women are supposed to be beauftiful like it is something you obtain if you work hard enough at it. Also the beautiful woman should be smart, able to cook, do their laundry, laugh and be pleasant all the time. Give me a good looking man anyday because they don’t have as many hangups.
Beautiful Barbara, Read some hard science! Your arguments would be more credible.
I want to start by saying the girl on the left of the ‘Maxim’ Magazine cover is beautiful, and I can’t imagine her even in the mildest to fall for any other guy, but myself or the kind of male in my league (any of which I apparently haven’t come across yet, to the best of my knowledge). Yup, you know it – get an idea; with a great appearance comes the full package of Calibre. And I’m only posting here because of her.
In all honesty, we should really discuss a topic like this given we’re (at least) around 21 years old, and for folks that are (at least) 21. That is because every thing that happens in the ages less were pretty much folly, solely because we were gaining awareness of ourselves for where we stand with the others. Myself, included.
… No disrespect to anybody, but I don’t find a lot of women that are called ‘beautiful’ beautiful. Pretty works, but not beautiful. *That* girl on the left *is* pretty much beautiful, but the one on the right looks like a dumb bimbo with a less body – even though many of us call her beautiful, too. It’s in the eyes, and the eyes really hold someone’s calibre – that is linked with the rest of the body, because the better the body, over time the ‘knowledge’ is in the eyes. Whether you like to accept it, or not, in ‘real’ cases, people put themselves first, and the rule will always go in that the good looking girl will fall for the good looking guy, and anyone ‘less’ will fall for someone in their league. I am yet to come across a girl, or guy who is with a partner out of their attractiveness. You also ought to note that a lot of girls wear make-up, and a lot of guys go to the gym – those can greatly affect one’s attractiveness to a degree, but hardly sufficient self-confidence. I’ve seen it.
People also like to get a rise out of others for unknown reasons. So what appears to be flirtatious behavior may be something else. Some people are actually really ‘living’ life, and wouldn’t mind messing with people – making it come out as attraction, or anything. Beautiful people DO hold an advantage with their way through life in that their beauty grants them ‘perks’ with people that they consider ‘less’, and they themselves really want to make something out of their lives just like everybody else. I (myself) worked hard, and well through pre-school, school, high school and university. Nowadays, I’m passing time, afford to be lazy (now) and holding up my pedestal because (apparently) I am that ideal man with ‘the’ life. I get to choose any girl I please when I am to get married in around year or 2, and the best way to avoid attention from ‘any’ girl is to stay in hiding, although I am sure the one I’ll be with is ‘that’ beautiful desirable girl because little worked with the dozen in my past, and effectively, where I couldn’t pay much interest with them, the frustration of even falling for ‘less’ girls is what I would never repeat. I made it up by changing MY ways, permanently, altogether.
So basically, given my own ways around the ‘charade’, I would consider the same mindset for any girl, too, particularly the beautiful one. What beautiful girl would even risk being stagnant for some average guy, any way?
You also got to note that beauty on a beautiful girl (or, person) is NO coincidence – it’s normally a sign of a lot of potential, and a good future.
I once met a really hot girl that was called a bitch by everyone. Though she never was mean to me. An I really did think she was sexy. To shy to talk to her. But I think she did pick me and treated me differently. As i think on this.. some other women did to O.o
Gotta wonder why so many women go through the pain, expense, high-maintenance commitment and risk of getting breast implants. Even women who are perfectly normal in shape and proportion already. I wonder how many men would risk losing sensation in their penis in order to make it bigger.
There are a lot of women that are happy with themselves even when guys say otherwise. So I feel it doesn’t psychologically, on the other hand they could be just hiding it because they tend to give that girl trouble. By the way I tend to like girl that actually listen to my research cause I find it unfair that I listen to them and they ignore me when I talk about my research. I’m your average lookin guy by the way. But the look thing is true cause those girls big butts be like budaaddata shibidaboom. And I turn 18 last july. My bad. A brother just like a big butt na mean, no matter how much he is into mechanics, medicinal research, and computer programming.
“skinniness isn’t usually considered ‘the’ most attractive part of a woman.”
Oh yeah? What planet are you on?
I don’t know, I meant what if you are Jordan. Seeing yourself on a mag might make you happy :) Jane
I don’t think that is what the person you’re replying to was trying to say. I think they were trying to say that guys may get tired of a brainless bimbo, and go looking for a woman who has some brains and personality as well. Not to say that this is the majority pattern.
Re. your first paragraph; it has been observed in looking at history that more attractive people tend to marry more attractive people, all the more so if you account for changes in the ideals of beauty. So you’re right, if excessively rhetorical in your language.
Re, your second; although it is true that (most of the time) nobody can make you feel depressed if you are determined to be happy, it is nevertheless common to be unhappy because someone else has something you want. In most cases, it is a sign of what I would characterize as shallow self-awareness. It is very common. In some circumstances, on the other hand, it may even be logical; for instance, beauty is generally speaking a sign of health, and a healthy mate is a very good thing to have.
Note, however, that I am NOT saying that one should blame their depression, low self-esteem, etc. on someone else. To do so is to make it more difficult to overcome your personal problems. I have dealt with clinical depression. I know what I’m saying.
Re. your third; if you’re right (and I’ll assume you are), good for you. And for him.
Why does everyone talk about weight when discussing this subject? There are many more things that make people feel physically inadequate other than weight. My butt and legs are terribly scarred from acne but I am an attractive girl. I never wear bathing suits and never go after the guy I really want for fear of rejection and/or pity. Can’t workout… can’t take a pill… can’t have surgery… just gotta deal. How do you deal with this??? How can you feel confident when you feel like a freak show??? Any suggestions???
word up…i dont think many people realize that this beauty thing they keep chasing is only temporary. As soon as you think you’ve found the finest thing around, someone finer will come along and make you rethink your whole situation. Beauty can be easily compromised. When the poop hits the fan, a person wants to know if their partner will ride storms out with them or if they’ll bail. A person wants to know that if they become less glamorous, their partner will love them and not leave them for the next peice of eye candy. People who place SOOO MUCH value on having a trophy wife/husband, usually are very clueless and havent been through enough to know whats important because they think that when bills need to be paid and children need to be fed, that good looks are going to help. They wont (not unless she sells herself somehow.)
I have always been told that I’m attractive and many men would like to be with me, and its nice to feel good when I’m in public, but after having grown up, I will not accept anyone who JUST looks good. I need to know that that person has substance and a kind soul and a brave heart and a LOT of other good things too.
Interestingly enough, there isnt much room for compromise about the KIND of person i want to spend forever with, but the physical requirements arent nearly as set in stone. I prefer someone my height, but i have dated a little shorter. I’m usually more attracted to men with my caramel complexion, but the man i’m engaged to is very fair skinned. I fell in love with him when he was skinny with short hair, and now he’s about 70 pounds heavier with lots of muscle and braids that reach the middle of his back, which i also love. He can change his appearance weekly if he wants, as long as he doesnt stop making me feel the way he makes me feel. A lot of people girls stare at us when we’re out together, and to be honest it gets on both our nerves a little. I don’t wish he were less attractive, but it would be nicer if SO MANY women didnt have to fall all over themselves.. .all the time. And our intentions arent to get those kinds of reactions out of people. I feel good walking with him not because of how he looks, its the way he holds my hand like the wind is going to blow me away. And feeling like its ok to let my guard down and love him 150% because I trust in him. Those things are priceless, and they wont change with time and they wont change when someone more attractive tries to get at me. I’m still going to feel that way when he’s old and gray and wrinkly and his pipi stops working.
Now on the other hand, if God forbid our relationship didnt work out, I would look for someone with still many of his same personality traits, because they are more important than what, exactly, he looks like.
“If a beautiful woman just shows common courtesy to a man, he often takes it as a sign that she wants him.”
It’s true unfortunately. Over time I had to cut any type of social interactions with less than handsome men because they would automatically take simple polite conversations as interest.
People who think they are inferior to someone else actually ARE inferior, precisely because they think are, ironically enough. Many people don’t have time for people with major insecurities and if you see yourself as less well guess what? Others will be happy to enthusiastically agree with you. It’s basic social interactions. I guess the low self esteem inferiority complexes ridden guy could probably get the really low self esteem girl and this is how they probably mate but not much beyond that.
You are responsable for your own self esteem people.
To the author of the original post that was an interesting read!
I have to disagree with the title though, people are responsable for their own self esteem and it’s extremely silly to think that some model somewhere who never had any interaction with can be responsable for your insecurities. As you think so you shall be. I agree with the rest though completely! I think guys do indeed feels more and more the weight of not “measuring up” (if they are insecure). I think it’s unfortunate in a way that we choose in part based on physical attraction, I know there are a lot of shorter or physically not attractive (or in the parlance of science: sub optional reproductive specimens) but they are kind hearted and decent human beings.
Lots of men have lots of expection in part due to the media, in what they expect from a women.Some of them probably feel as if they are not quite up to snuff genetically speaking for the women they secretly wished they have. . Ignoring women on their “level” is not smart though and only cause these dejected men feel more miserable. People do indeed match based on their “level” so to speak of physical desirability it’s evolution. Personally I must admit reluctantly I’ve always been with objectively extremely good looking men, some who even model (not the androgynous effeminate kind though but the type who have classical “rugged” handsome look…hot!)
Julie,5’8″ Montreal
“Plus, we know the only reason you act so nice is because you know you have no other way of making us interested in you. And the reason you act so mean is because you’re trying to hide that you want us and/or you think you can make us underestimate our own worth.”
Omg so true! And the saddest thing is they think they are somewhat sutble when they’re pulling the “he’s not interested because he’s unattractive” charcade.Lol I always laugh when I see it. Don’t ever let such sad excuses of people try to get you down girl. WE choose who we want.
“GET realistic. Assess yourself realistically. Look for someone in your league, or go home. Some of us hot girls would like to enjoy our lives with you average boys and your pathetic attempts to force yourself on people that aren’t interested. We are not pieces of meat for you to bang. We are people with brains and hearts and our OWN CHOICES.”
+1 and qft x10 well said and 100% true :)
Helene
Yes, girls do get to choose whom they want. She will drop hints, smile, etc and if the good-looking guy is too dumb to realise what he is being offered, she will move on thinking he is a dufus, anyway and she’ll lose interest. Sometimes though, she will be so attracted to a guy that she will throw herself at him and he will never respond positively as he will enjoy the attention she showers him with, enjoy her stroking his ego and eventually, he will never want the relationship to progress any further.
The guy will want a girl but he will be so afraid of rejection that he won’t tell her how he feels and life will pass him by. Sometimes, he feels confident in his own skin and throws himself at a girl. She will like him but will mistrust him and think that he flirts this way with everyone and the relationship will never progress as she will never take him serious.
A guy has just got to learn to read the subtle signals and he will get his girl.
Really a guy just does not want a girl to throw herself at him; likewise with a girl’s choice.
I could go on talking about different scenarios but hey, what do I know, anyway?
“Why *shouldn’t* the beautiful women deserve something like herself?”
Also keep in mind that beautiful women don’t want to be on some pedestral, like the average or less desirable guy is likely to put her on it since he wouldn’t believe his luck (not saying average guys are with beautiful women, just in hypothetic scenario) whereas the handsome good looking guy is more likely to just see her as a person and not some imaginary godess. Good looking people are used to beauty and being attractive so they are less intimidated by it and can develop healthier relationships with other desirable people like themselves. Part of a healthy relationship is equality.
Helene
“At least I’m not – or I wouldn’t date a teacher”
Would you date a sales clerk or unemployed man with no prospects of moving up because he is viewed as a dirty ignorant minority? Doubt it…
I am a woman and I think you have a very weird view of us! From what you say it sounds like every woman you have been with acts as though she’s doing you a favour. Well realise this: she’s not. You sound like a nice decent guy and it sounds as though you try very hard to make your woman happy. So why do you go for ones that don’t appreciate you? Women want and need men as much as men want and need women. If the sort of women you’ve been with would dump you in a second for a better offer they must be judging people on the wrong things. Where does love come into this? Find a woman that appreciates you like you appreciate her and I hope you will be very happy
And in the next couple of decades gravity will take its effect on you, he’ll realize he has spent enough money and effort on someone he is no longer attracted to and you will spend every single waking moment trying to keep yourself outwardly beautiful for a guy who only wanted your body. Meanwhile the average guy will be debt free, happily married to the RIGHT woman for him, and retired comfortably without the hassles of providing botox and xanex for his cougar wife.
I think you are right, your outside mirrors your inside, therefore, if you pretend to be a bitch on the outside, you are actually kinda and friendly on the inside.
-Jin
I’m a very ordinary-looking guy who has been with ordinary-looking women and with very beautiful women. I have never found that a woman’s beauty makes any kind of difference to my chances with her. She either likes you or she doesn’t; and you’ll never understand why, no matter how hard you try. Another point is that even ordinary-looking women expect perfection in their men. No matter who you are, guys, the woman you’re with is settling for you. If she can find someone better, you’re toast unless you can and are inclined to vastly raise your bid. Deal with it. Flatter her, make her feel like a goddess, like she’s the only woman in the world, and even then you have a fifty-fifty shot at best. Have the best time you can within those constraints, and good luck.
Why shouldn’t a beautiful woman expect someone as special as herself? Essentially you are saying that beautiful women should have to settle for less because they are beautiful.
It is very easy to blame others (i.e. beautiful people) for your own poor self esteem. “you are beautiful and I am not… therefore it is your fault that I am depressed”. More time should be spent teaching women to love what is special about them because it is not all about looks.
I consider myself a beautiful woman but I do not for an instant delude myself into thinking that my boyfriend is with me simply because I am beautiful. Actually I would have to say he loves me despite my looks. Many men are actually interested in personality and a brain and the same goes for women.
I wish I could be tall, leggy, with at least size C boobs and a tan for a day- knowing I could turn heads of all various ages of men would feel pretty good.
Not to brag but that’s me here and like the last “hot girl” here said, while it could be fun it really can not be that great too. I guess its something you can’t turn on or off. Men can be pigs and women have their own insecurites to make you feel alienated. You walk down the street and feel like a piece of meat. People look at you and like the girl before me said ‘you develop complexes’, you’re like are they looking because I have something in my teeth but no wait I didn’t smile, so according to past comments its because they find me attractive. So much to the point that my own effing male doctor had me sitting in front of him unclothed. They see me but not my inside sensitivity. So excuse us men: for being too picky or women: for being too bitchy because sometimes that’s the only way to protect ourselves inside and out. Beautiful, average, or ugly we all have feelings don’t we.
Go Girl. All this is so true!
I know its hard to accept, but it’s human nature to look at other asthetically pleasing humans. I check out hot women all the time myself (I am a heterosexual woman) and what is going through my mind is “Wow, she’s nearly perfect… what genetics” and if a straight guy ogles her, he’s probably thinking, “Wow, she is so smokin hot, I wonder if she’d have sex with me?” – both of these observations are based on looks ONLY, and exist within a vacuum where reality, responsibilities, and current relationships hold no influence… it’s like a theory: ‘would she sleep with me if both of us were single.’
But men are not two dimensional… their attraction to women is just as complex as our attraction to men. What gets him going isn’t just a tight ass or perfect proportions, it might be the cute way you laugh, the way you smell in the morning, the way you kiss, the cute way your butt shimmies when you walk, or a hundred other things that have to come together to really turn his crank. You have them, she doesn’t.
Most women have a “dream guy” – he has a look and a set of behaviors that she would LOVE to meet, but as we get older we realize that’s just fantasy. He probably picks at his toes before bed and eats too many onions to REALLY be our dream guy. Plus, his laugh is annoying and he’s far too obsessed with his hair. You get the picture.
So, in a nutshell, don’t worry about the theorizing… just concentrate on reality. :)
That;s wonderfull…are u is a smart woman!
I would like to now! HEHE!
Only And to the girls….quit being so transparent in your malice towards those women you perceive to be better than you. Guess what? I am better than you. Not because I can have any man I want based on my looks…
Congratulations!
Josue Victor http://www.kitebrasilia.com.br
Some good looking women also have BRAINS. You may not believe it, but it’s true. Some beautiful girls don’t let man-sluts “bang” them.
No matter how many stupid advice pages that you waste your money on, the beautiful smart girl ALWAYS gets to choose. You are just making advice guys rich, because you desperately want to believe.
Listen up, AVERAGE GUYS – you can never, ever, say that you can get ANY girl. It’s completely NOT TRUE. I select the guy that I want, and so do about 20 hot girls that I know. They are dating or married to men right now…. and if you approach them in public, you are NOT GOING TO GET THEM NO MATTER WHAT.
GET realistic. Assess yourself realistically. Look for someone in your league, or go home. Some of us hot girls would like to enjoy our lives with you average boys and your pathetic attempts to force yourself on people that aren’t interested. We are not pieces of meat for you to bang. We are people with brains and hearts and our OWN CHOICES.
I disagree with your comments. You said ” the reason why the good looking guy gets the good looking girl, is because his self esteem has been boosted his entire life.” Such an over statement, not every good looking guy has some huge boosted self-esteem. Most of the time they are complete assholes, that are too focused on themselves, where you have a caring, very confident average guy that has learned to appreciate him for him. The bases of any persons confidence and personality is based on their up bringin, not by how good looking they are. Remember this, people that are shallow are like puddles you skip around them. Have fun in your endeavors!!
contect with me on this id [email protected]
I think some of these comments are being made by women who either aren’t sexy or dont think that they are.
I’m a damn sexy woman. And I go for guys that would consider me “out of their league”. I’ve had guys get so completely terrified of me they cut the relationship off because they think they have to live up to some impossible standard not to lose me to another guy.
To the guys, you are only inadequate if you think you are. Otherwise if a sexy girl is into you, she’s into you. Most of us date on personality, not on looks. And there’s no defining leagues. And no I’m not shallow. I want a real relationship with a real man. The label of “average” is just about perspective. No one is average once you get to know them. But some men are cowards. They think in terms of “leagues” and always place themselves on the bottom rung. This is what sets them up for failure with ANY chick. Not just the hot ones.
And to the girls….quit being so transparent in your malice towards those women you perceive to be better than you. Guess what? I am better than you. Not because I can have any man I want based on my looks. But because I dont put myself in a league of any kind but my own. And thats the league of a confident, intelligent woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go out and get it instead of sit around whining over how I’m not good enough and it’s all men’s fault, magazines fault, society’s fault. It’s your own damn fault.
Sex sells, especially when you’re buying sex.
Number one learn to use spell check and correct your grammar and second most guys are so brainwashed by the crap they’re being fed through the media that many of them don’t know a real woman when they see one. The fact that many “sexy” women tend to be full of themselves and are the same stupid bitches that make fun of average women telling them how they can’t get a man when it’s pretty ironic to see a lot of ‘sexy’ girls and women who are more single than a dollar bill. These so called sexy women are usually ones guys don’t stay with very long once the vanity wears off.
Whether they are “hot” or not, some are charismatic enough to hang with the ones who are. not all hot people are that shallow.
“Hot girl” here, and it’s not that great. Most of the attention you get from men is negative (they treat you like an object), and many women assume you’re a bitch and resist your overtures of friendship. You get totally invested in your looks and develop complexes that, according to older hot women I know, don’t go away. Because men tend to treat hot women like Chanel handbags, after 10 years of dating I’ve only met 1 man who was interested in and finally loves me for my character (plus he’s hot; I’m marrying him!!)
Slap that man of yours next time his eyes stray — you sound awesome and he’s lucky to have you!
In the long run, I would much rather have an average looking girl. I’ve never met a nice girl who was extremely hot. I find myself more attracted to average women than hot ones simply because I don’t think they would turn me down. It’s not that they are desperate, it’s that they’re not bitches. Yes, most hot girls are bitches, and every hot girl I’ve ever met was. So, average, and even unattractive women, keep it up cause I love yah, you’re doin the whole guy race a favor by being real and honest to society.
I completely disagree. Women are crazy. They do not realize what drives them. Any guy can get any girl. The reason why the good looking guy gets the good looking girl is because his self esteem has been boosted his entire life. He hasn’t had to worry about rejection. For the rest of us, all this means is that we have to retrain the way we think–make ourselves into more confident beings. Women do not care about how you look–not in the long run anyways. They care soo much about your personality. If you go up to a hot girl with “I wanna bang you” written all over your face, get in line. So does every other guy. You have to make her feel different. Do something unpredictable because if every guy wants to bang her, she gets to choose, not you. If you can break her concentration for lack of a better word, you increase your odds of getting what you want.
He shouldn’t be upset. He should just appreciate, then move on to someone like him.
The average guy IS NOT going to get a beautiful woman. There’s only so many beautiful women, there isn’t enough for every average guy to have one.
AND, why should he deserve something more than average? How is that fair?
Why should the beautiful woman deserve something as special as herself?
Average guys, get over yourself and date an average woman. There is enough women to go around if you are realistic.
If you are waiting for Barbie, you are going to be very alone, or will need to spend a lot of your hard-earned cash to buy Barbie!
Yeah, I`m an average chick, yep I am attainable. Yet I`m not the hot one guys trip over on the street or loose their tongue with. I wish I was that girl for just one day. I wonder how it feels to be that hot. I got the tall, dark and handsome guy who loves me heaps, yet I worry about losing him to someone he can`t help keeping his eyes off. Its hard being around him when he is oggling really hot chicks, I think maybe he deserves to be with them, not me, cause I am more plain. I`m ok never been short of a man. I`m short, white skin, average, not overweight and 40 with one child- and yeah a 30 yr old is looking hotter now. I wish I could be tall, leggy, with at least size C boobs and a tan for a day- knowing I could turn heads of all various ages of men would feel pretty good. How many men dream of having an average girl over a hot one? I would liken myself closer to Bridget Jones without makeup on a normal day. I think the fact I am not dumb and can hold a conversation gets me over the line. Its stressful being average, especially now surrounded by hot mamas who look like they have never given birth while my hips popped out from a size 8-10, and now a 12. I bust my butt at the gym and look after myself to maintain myself and my relationship..
So I came to the site to look at different poses… What I got was a lot of ideas about what people think of the content. So my opinion, not that any one asked is this. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder! I have taken pics of the ” hot ” and the ” average ” The difference is who you think is hot and average. Most women are gorgeous, they just don’t think so because they have had some guy or girl tell them that they are worthless and ugly! Reality Any one can be amazing, and no it doesn’t take drugs diet or surgery. It takes self awareness confidence. Are the leggy models fun to look at? Yes, and so is a bright pink V W bus… The point Im trying to make is that any one can be and should be beautiful! And if we all start to treat people that way and teach our children to be confident that they are then we will see the change that we all so desperately need.
pure enchantment photography
Sex sells, especially when you’re selling sex.
take a beta-blocker.
Women have been exploited sence time has begun. The main problem is that their are women out there whom line up to be exploited. The money is good, and alot of women just show off their body. Then there are those who get paid to perform in Adult XXX movies. Women hold a certain power over men, and being a man, I have curiosity’s as well. But im not out looking for a cheap thrill. As long as there is a man or woman looking at these photo’s, or movies; then there will always be someone performing, or showing it off.
We as a society are shallow minded, and just generally looking to be happy, and satisfied.
Gary
Good post. If you feel bad about how you look, DO something about it instead of tearing others down, just like if you feel bad about your intelligence or income. Life is hard for everybody. It’s very obvious when people resent others’ success and it just makes you look pathetic.
If a beautiful woman just shows common courtesy to a man, he often takes it as a sign that she wants him. Do us a favor and actually think about how attractive you are and if a beautiful woman would find you attractive before you embarrass yourself making unwelcome overtures.
In my experience the jealous, average or ugly women are the real bitches. They act like they have no pride in their character with their pathetic attempts to bring us down. Jealousy is not beautiful. Pettiness is not beautiful. Your outside mirrors your inside. If you were a proactive person you would probably feel good about how you look, but instead you give up and try to bring down women you envy in ways that just make you look uglier. There’s a word for that. LOSER.
And yeah, most of the men you attract are jerks, because most men and most people ARE jerks. If you want to see how disgusting humanity is, be beautiful.
Yeah, we don’t need a boyfriend to prove anything. Anyone can see we could have a boyfriend if that was all we wanted, but we hold out for quality.
This is true. We know how you men think. And I make a point of looking at the man’s appearance and figuring out if I think he’s attractive or not because it’s only fair. There’s no guy who decides to be with a woman who he doesn’t find sexually attractive but has a wonderful personality. Men only pick women they’d like to have sex with. If a man expects me to have sex with him it’s only fair that I be attracted to him. So if you want a beautiful woman you have to spend as much time making yourself attractive as she does. Why should I make such an effort for a guy who doesn’t bother?
Plus, we know the only reason you act so nice is because you know you have no other way of making us interested in you. And the reason you act so mean is because you’re trying to hide that you want us and/or you think you can make us underestimate our own worth. None of your bullshit will work on a woman with experience with men, and beautiful women see it all.
i sapport this statement all the way… when a man feels that a women is beautiful they tend to back off degrade themselfes and say” o i will never get her” when they should be thinking positive… if a male believe the female is not “out of his league” he wont be scared to approach her. she will put less stress on the male.. it happend to me and still does rading this makes me just want to tell that voice thats says “you’ll never get her to shut up” all males should listen up and BE CONVIDENT GO GET THEM if she says no then it happens to the best get up and try again
delaware
Michael A. Fox
While it lasts, aye ole boy? (Which by your own admission it doesn’t)
Perhaps you need to think using your big brain and work on your personality instead of thinking with your “little brain”
okay so taking about weight doesn’t have much to do with the evidence, skinniness isn’t usually considered ‘the’ most attractive part of a woman.
Besides I agree with one of the other posters, it would be a better test if they compared the ‘model’ with the pretty ‘girl next door’ who is attainable. doubt the show Beauty and the Geek helped the self esteem of that many men.
Sexy girls drive me crazy but i don’t know why i don’t talk to them and when i do, i look kinda stupid. am i nerdy or something?
I am a man who could generously be described as a ‘Clydesdale’, I’m a big man. I also date some incredible women. I’ve dated models who look incredible. They don’t make me feel bad, they make me feel wonderful.
After reading this article, I tested my self-image quotient with this: Who in today’s popular culture would be among my three choices to be stuck with alone on an uncharted island? In no particular order, and totally interchangeable, these three popped up immediately: Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, and Lisa Randall. The key attribute? A long shelf life in smart, self-assured and interesting. The fact that they are all three physically attractive women is certainly part of it, but the bottom line is that no matter how attractive a woman might be–or find me!–for an hour or so a day, if she and I do not find it fun to be with one another the other 23 hours, then I might as well be alone. This is not to say that there are not culturally-defined hotties out there who aren’t smart, self-assured and interesting; there are. But none of them popped immediately into my head at the thought of spending the rest of my life alone on a desert island with one other person.
oh girl come to papa aaw..but im thinking, why man,when he see a sexy girl, beautiful and slim they became crazy….hmmmm.girls are things can admired with many man……ohhhhhhh..but for me it is normal because as we see in our environment, sexy girls go out to the city and dreesed a crazy dress all man that can see her is will become paranoid….why girls dreesed like britney spears…is that a big question in my mind are they want to be told or just be paranoid……..aw…
You sound like a doll. Keep being yourself. That’s no way to live thinking your man might go off with someone else. If he looks at any girl, which I find disrespectful esp if your there, smack him upside the head and tell him to take a hike.
5’11, blonde hair, blue eyes a little overweight. 170 according to some that is “average”. Being 49 I have plenty to say on this subject, so much so that I am writing a book. Historically women’s bodies have been idealized, Botticelli to Andy Warhol, Cleopatra to “sexy” Sarah Palin. We all have our view of what turns us on. Most americans go for the supermodel Heidi Klum or Giselle. Until a year ago I was 150 very athletic and fit, then I went through menopause and gained 20 pounds. I don’t feel as sexy, I’m not as motivated and I don’t primp as much. So Yeah!!! Weight does matter. I have taught “overweight” aerobics to women who wouldn’t go to the gym because they felt uncomfortable. To conclude I would say that beauty comes from several places…
1. Self image, self confidence. What you believe about yourself is generated to others. And motivates you to stay healthy
2. Some people prefer anorexia thin, others prefer buxom and vuloptuous. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Although grace, poise and posture are paramount to any beautiful women.
3. Only the wealthy can afford plastic surgery, the rest of us have to rely on self discipline. You don’t get an endorphin blast from surgery.
4. My sister “was” the Prom queen, I was the ugly duckling. Now her looks have gone, when I enter a room people stop and take notice.
5. Lastly, I work in a man’s field. It’s true that men are intimidated and women diss me. I’ve dated much younger guys, which are more gentle men than gys my age…but in the end I married an average man, that could provide financially for me.
6. As humans we seek out companionship and use our resources to obtain what we desire. Magazines will always be around to tempt us. When we know ourselves then media will be irrelevant and we can see people for who they are. A sum of “all” there parts.
7. Sex sells! Tall buxom blonde. :)
They don’t need such a study to know what the average dude feels when a beautiful woman walks by. It is a real fact of life no need to spend time and money on picky definitions. As for what woman need my opinion is that no woman knows what she needs. As every human the more you give her the more she will ask for. But none can buy love.
Average weight is irrelevent. A woman can be 165lbs and appear skinny…if she is 5’11’. The criteria needs to be Body Mass Index or at least body fat %. Define “models”. A fashion or runway model is usually very different than one who appears in Maxim or Playboy. Was the face concidered? It is the most important feature to both men and women in physical appraisal. The out-of-my league phenomonon is a combination of many factors, percieved and real…appearance, social status, education, age, etc.
Wow – that’s a negative viewpoint. Women are not just after money! At least I’m not – or I wouldn’t date a teacher :). I don’t think how the sexy women feel is the point – the point is that magazine imagery makes both genders feel worse about themselves. How the women in those magazines feel is irrelevant – though, probably true that many are not happy.
I was always skeptical of the idea that women buy fashion magazines in droves even though the pictures supposedly make them feel bad. I am frankly disbelieving that men would buy porn if it made them miserable.
Maybe the only people who feel threatened by beautiful people are whiny, self entitled egoists who resent anyone who has something they don’t have, be it superior looks, intelligence or income. Maybe the rest of us are adults who know that in the real world there are going to be people who surpass is in some area. More to the point, maybe most of us don’t expect everyone else to cater to our insecurities.
Women will do anything to get money and attention = they will shed their weight, their clothes … The article does not cover the fact that most sexy girls often undergo depression and addiction .. because they have no self esteem and they worry about their security as their beauty and sex appeal starts fading